New hire stresses over more experienced coworker constantly asking for help: "He's been here for 6 consecutive months... I'm still in my 5 month period'

In many jobs, the relationship that you have with your coworkers is a key factor in how satisfied and successful you are going to be in your role. While it might be the boss who dictates whether you get to move up the ladder, those on the same level as you are your team members. You can only hope they will enhance your efforts in the workplace, and, if you're really lucky, you might be able to have a good time with them while doing it as well.

The tradeoff is that the average employee is usually expected to help their colleagues in return. In theory, this is acceptable, but there are plenty of incompetent workers in this world who have no issue with taking things too far. Unless it is part of your job description, it isn't fair to have a coworker leaning on you all of the time. 

Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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  • This is something that one employee felt the need to vent about. Five months into their new job, they were fed up with their slightly more experienced coworker asking them for help with the most basic of tasks. 

    This man admitted he hadn't paid attention in college to topics that were integral to the role, and his colleague felt themselves reaching a breaking point while dealing with this. They wanted a way out.

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    Cheezburger Image 10498127104
    via Mushvig Niftaliyev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Office mate constantly asks for help with the most basic tasks. It's draining me

    I have this office mate who constantly asks for help, even with the most basic tasks like how to word a simple email or how to ask a general question to another department. I wouldn't mind if he were actually new to the job, but here's the thing: he's been with the company for 6 consecutive months already under a contract period, and he even started two weeks ahead of me. Meanwhile, I'm still in my 5-month period, and I'm barely keeping up with my own workload. I'm part of the data department, a
    via Kaypri_
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    "It feels like I'm constantly being treated as a lifeline"

    What frustrates me even more is that he admitted he didn't really pay attention to data-related topics in college because he didn't think they were important. Honestly, I'm confused how he even graduated from his course without grasping the foundational stuff we use every day. It feels like I'm constantly being treated as a lifeline when I'm also just trying to survive and prove myself here.
    via Kaypri_
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    "I need to protect my time and energy"

    I've tried being patient. I've encouraged him to try drafting things on his own and to only ask for help when it's necessary. But I'm mentally drained, and I've decided that moving forward, I'll just keep quiet and pretend to be busy unless the matter is urgent or directly involves my scope of work. It might seem cold, but I need to protect my time and energy. I'm not his supervisor, and I'm definitely not being paid to be one. Is it reasonable for me to take this approach?
    via Kaypri_
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    Cheezburger Image 10498127616
    via Jozsef Hocza
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    Commenters were eager to offer advice.

    lunarteamagic "It seems you are struggling with the basics of this job, I would be happy to loop in management to get you better help. But I have my own tasks to do." I have no chill though
    via lunarteammagic
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    vindman i love your communication style AND your username
    via vindman
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    regprenticer I had something very similar. I didn't realise but it was apparent to my colleagues as well but came to a head when he overwrote important information held on a shared "one note" space with a personal "To Do list" - he had no concept at all that the file wasn't on his own private machine. You'll need to speak to his line manager.
    via regprenticer
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    iiimperatrice This. When someone is acting like this you have to bring management into it otherwise nothing will change. I deal with a similar situation at my job.
    via iiimperatrice
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    BelliAmie Absolutely! You don't need to hold his hand throughout the day. You have your own work. Ignore him. Use headphones if you need to.
    via BelliAmie
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    Kaypri_ OP I already tried wearing headphones to signal that I'm focused, but he still taps me on the shoulder. At this point, I'm honestly just lost on how to respond without coming off as a j
    via Kaypri_
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    whateverhk They are the j not you, so next time answer "Tom I'm really not sure either why don't you ask our boss? I'm really busy right now, let me know how you did when you're done" and out your headphones back. If they insist, stand up and go ask directly the question to your supervisor for them like "Ton wants to know how to do this can you help him I'm swamped" That's an issue for your manager to figure out and the fact they didn't notice is a bad sign.
    via whateverhk
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    edward2bighead I dealt with this at a previous job. Dude could barely handle basic computer tasks. Saving documents, right clicking a mouse, dragging and dropping documents. There were some days he barely could figure out how to log into the computer. At my check in 3 months into the job, I let the supervisor know that was struggling to keep up with my own tasks because of said coworker. He was pushing tasks on me, telling people to call me directly, calling me names. That I felt picked on becau
    via edward2bighead
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    twick2010 Ask him, "what would you do if I wasn't here?"
    via twick2010
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    Jenn31709 Refer them to their direct supervisor, each and every time. Them: "How do I word this email?" You: "You should probably ask your boss"
    via Jenn31709
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    PrimevilKneivel I deal with this in a two step manner. Step 1 is just to always be too busy to help them right away. Make them wait and just keep being busy, eventually they get the hint and stop asking. Step 2 is for people who don't learn from step 1. Go to your boss and/or HR and complain that your coworker is impacting your productivity. Tell them that you have to spend a lot of time explaining simple tasks and it's getting in the way of your work. Any manager that's worth their salary under
    via PrimevilKneivel
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    CaptainZippi The other guys a genius! He's successfully outsourced his work to you!
    via CaptainZippi
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    Pitchforkin You need to just stop helping them, I mean this is in the nicest way possible but you need to grow a spine. If you can't handle setting simple boundaries you will always struggle.
    via Pitchforkin
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    AddisonNM I had a co-worker constantly asking for help. After the 3rd time, I said, "you need to go see your trainer or team leader, I can't spend time doing this".
    via AddisonNM
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    Bruinwar Of course it's reasonable. I hope it works for you. I went through this for years with a coworker that just could not learn to do his job. In all fairness it was a highly technical job & it takes a while to learn. But he never, ever learned to do it. The same questions, over & over. For one process, I once I got so frustrated I that wrote it all out on his whiteboard & he still needed help. Our director did become aware of his issues & had it on a 1 year, learn his job or.... He ended u
    via Bruinwar
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    Ethel Marie "I don't know how to help you." is a phrase I started using. Only needed to repeat it a few times before, magically, they stopped asking me for help.
    via Ethel_Marie
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    shadho Look man, end of the day, it comes down to this. You need to let them fail and fail hard. "But what if their inability to do their piece impacts the project as a whole?" Then the project gets impacted as a whole. And as long as it's clear who dropped the ball, they will deal with the repercussions. If you keep playing hero and rescuing the ball from being dropped, you WILL drain yourself out, and/or SUDDENLY find yourself with ACCOUNTABILITY WITHOUT ROLE OR RECOGNITION for this ADDED DUTY
    via shadho
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