17-year-old cuts off remarried dad after he converts her bedroom into room for his mother-in-law: 'My mom woke me up at 5am and asked what I did'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 24, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Remarrying after a divorce is ten times harder for anybody who has kids from their previous relationship. Any caring parent has to be concerned about choosing a partner who is happy to be a stepparent to their children, and on the flip side, make sure that their children are willing to accept their new spouse. 

The evidence proves that this doesn't always work out, and quite often, parents find themselves choosing between their kids and their partner. Many would argue that children should come first every time, but reality proves that many moms and dads decide to prioritize their new spouse over their kids' feelings of happiness and comfort. 

It goes without saying that this can be a traumatizing experience at any stage of development, and it isn't shocking that older children in particular can take drastic action over it. There are consequences for anybody who neglects their duties as a parent.

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  • One teenager felt she had no choice but to demonstrate this after feeling abandoned by her dad and his wife. He had divorced her mom several years ago. Initially, the parents shared custody equally, but after he remarried, she only saw him and her stepmother on weekends. 

    Recently, the couple moved house, and her dad promised her a bedroom there as well as claiming that maybe he was willing to spend more time with her. This plan quickly fell through when it turned out that the spare room in the new home was going to be used for his wife's mom.

    Angry and disappointed, the girl explained her feelings to her father and cut contact with him. His relatives were aghast at this drastic move, and she wondered if she was in the wrong when they began bombarding her and her mom.

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    Cheezburger Image 10498150144
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for telling my dad to never contact me again after he chose his wife’s mom over me?

    Hi everyone, I (17F) am only really posting this since my dad's family and even my mom are telling me that I'm in the wrong. My parents got divorced when I was 12 and they had 50/50 custody so I would stay with my dad for a week then my mom. When I was 14 my dad got married to my stepmom (I refer to her as his wife) and I would only see them on the weekends until they moved and I only saw them whenever they visited (my mom got full custody) Anyways last month they moved back to our city and got
    via imjustapickl3
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    Anyways they move into the house and invite me, they give me a tour and show me my "room", I asked when I could start putting things in it and that's when they told me that they were actually going to give the room to his wife's mom, and since I was going away to college soon, it wasn't like I was going to use the room much. They also told me that instead of staying the full week that I can go on the weekends and sleep on their couch if I wanted to. I said no to that and texted my mom to pick me
    via imjustapickl3
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    So I just decided that I didn't want to be in his life anymore or have him in mine, even though I barely did. I talked to my mom and for someone who hates my dad, she told me that I should just talk to him and spend time with him since I barely got to for 2 years. I just decided to cut him off, it sounds impulsive I know but I sent him a long message detailing how emotionally neglected and unwanted he made me feel and to never contact me again. I blocked him and blocked his side of the family.
    via imjustapickl3
  • 05
    In the morning my mom woke me up at 5am and asked what I did, almost my dads entire family have been blowing up her phone asking what she said/did that made me want to cut off my dad. During school I even got a few messages from my cousins on insta that I forgot to block insulting me. My mom showed me some of the messages and some are insulting both of us. My dad even sent a message apologizing to me and said I broke his heart, his wife is sending disgusting messages towards my mom. I feel awful
    via imjustapickl3
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    via Caterina Begliorgio
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    Other people sympathized with the situation that the girl was in.

    Present-Duck4273 Unblock him temporarily to let him know that his family and wife harassing you and your mom is exactly why you want no contact with any of them. He continues to take no accountability for his own actions and blame you and your mom instead. Tell him your mom is against your decision, but his family's attack has reassured you that you made the right decision. I would even send screenshots of messages. Ask him to call off his family and nasty wife. That for now you stand by your de
    via Present-Duck4273
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    imjustapickl3 OP Honestly I just really want to avoid talking to him for now, I think I might do this soon or suggest telling my mom to do this. Thank you so much for the advice
    via imjustapickl3
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    Mera 1506 You broke his heart? You might consider telling him that through breaking his promise he broke your heart and you don't want to be reminded of how little you matter to him when going there. Since it's only two years, how about mom gets one room, you get the one you were promised and they take an nice air mattrass in the living room? They never considered that, did they?
    via Mera1506
  • 10
    runiechica NTA you feel how you feel and that's ok. Your dad did betray you and expected you to just accept it. And even if something had to change the way they told you was awful.
    via runiechica
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    Future-Battle-4926 True, what she feels is legitimate and if she doesn't want to meet him there's nothing she can do. Now her mother has to go to a lawyer and file a complaint for harassment. Update me.
    via Future-Battle-4926
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    Conscious-Income-316 NTA for your feelings. As a mom I understand where your mom is coming from. She just doesn't want you to regret going no contact with your dad. But with what you are saying he really is a POS. She should have never got your hopes up just to crush them like that. I'm sorry he did that to you. I hope he doesn't know what his family and his wife are saying to you and your mom because if he does and hasn't put a stop to it then he is a bigger POS then I thought. My advice to you
    via Conscious-Income-316
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    Sparkig1rl This is not ok, you're NTA. Your dad took away your room to give to his wife's mother and then said you can sleep on the couch? WTF, how often does her mom visit? He barely saw you or made any effort why keep emotionally damaging yourself? I'd tell his family well he chose his wife over me years ago I guess I shouldn't be surprised he chose her mother over me too, I decided I don't deserve to be treated as an old sweater only useful when he needs me.
    via Sparkig1rl
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    imjustapickl3 OP Yeah exactly also from my knowledge not much, her mom is wild and goes to Vegas a lot, basically lives there and she's rarely home in her own house now so like she won't be in the room much either unless she's back in town to which probably a lot as she won't need to pay bills thank you so much
    via imjustapickl3
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    Boggers111 Your dad chose his wife's mum over you. That was his choice and you chose to block your so called father. He chose an almost stranger over his own flesh and blood. Fuck him and his wife. NTA.
    via Boggers111
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    Barkingatthemoon I bet his wife did not want the girl there at all times so she came up with her mom idea;) it worked
    via Barkingatthemoon
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    jl9091 NTA. You get to make the decision about who you want in your life. You're not wrong for being upset the situation changed from "you can have your own room" to "you can sleep on the couch," they didn't warn you ahead of time, and it is obvious they planned it that way for a while. I'm sorry your father doesn't ever put you first.
    via jl9091
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    curiousity60 ΝΤΑ Your dad has not prioritized his being a parent to you since he remarried. Now that he's moved closer and promised you a place in his home, he suddenly reneged. He promised you 50/50 time with both parents. Then downgraded to "you can visit occasionally and sleep on the couch." Your feelings of betrayal and of being devalued are valid and grounded in reality. His designating the only other bedroom to his MIL is secondary, though also painful. He has a duty of care for you as a p
    via curiousity60
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    biteme717 Tell them ALL to accept your decision just like you had to when he moved away and neglected you and forgot that he had a daughter. I would also tell them that you are tired of broken promises and reduced to sleeping on a couch and aren't important enough for your dad to sleep in a bed. I would also tell everyone that their hateful messages to you and your mom just proved that they don't care about or love you or respect you enough to calmly talk about this like adults. I've made my dec
    via biteme717
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    2Fluffy_Bunnies Your dad is being selfish and a narcissist. If he feels bad, it's his fault because he should feel bad after abandoning you for 2 years and neglecting you, then coming back and promising a 50/50 custody arrangement, then giving away your room to his wife's mom. WTF? Your dads entire family are out of line, your stepmom is evil, and dad needs to own up to the facts of his mistakes. Its his job to make an effort to prioritize you as your father, but instead he's made you an afterth
    via 2Fluffy_Bunnies
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    Prudii Skirata NTA If the only space your father can make for you in his life is a couch... he does not deserve your praise for the effort of it.
    via Prudii_Skirata
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    NotSorry2019 NTA. He picked making the woman he is sleeping with happy instead of taking care of his child. He's a terrible parent.
    via NotSorry2019
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    Purrminator1974 NTA and what is really concerning here is that your father is so willing to recruit his family members to bully his own daughter. This is not the behaviour of a loving parent who wants a relationship with his child. He has shown you exactly what he's capable of doing if you don't do what he wants or if you express your feelings.
    via Purrminator1974
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    Radical_Yue ΝΤΑ Your dad made a big, grand promise and built up your hopes after dipping out of your life for years. The fact that he invited you over under false pretenses to see "your" room only to then find out it's not only not yours but you'd only be welcome to the couch when visiting is cruel and twisted. It's one thing for plans to change, that happens. But how you communicate changes to all parties involved really matters and makes the difference. He's clearly not even trying to see how
    via Radical_Yue

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