Parents refuse to let 17-year-old go on school Marine Biology trip after telling her to refuse $45 "handout" for the fee from her teacher: 'They have been calling me ungrateful and spoiled'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Apr 29, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Sometimes you literally can't afford to turn down a favor. It might be hard to swallow your pride, but you have to accept that those wanting to help don't look down on you; they just want to help, and that's where it begins and ends. When your education, future, and development are on the line, it would be foolish to turn down someone who is willing to help out with no strings attached.

The parents are letting their own ego get in the way of their own child's opportunities and education, potentially jeopardizing her future—the opposite of what any parent should be doing. Refusing to help her or let her attend, even with the hurdle of the fee out of the way, is short-sighted and teaches their daughter the wrong lessons and shows a lack of priority for education. These opportunities come far less often than you might hope or think, and by the time you're an adult, they're pretty much never going to come again. You're going to be on your own. It's very important for someone in their late teens to seize every opportunity afforded to them and to build relationships with their mentors and peers.

Choosing growth and putting hubris aside is never a bad idea. And there is nothing spoiled about this teen's decision, it kinda makes you wonder if there isn't some ulterior motive to her parents' objection. Maybe they just really don't like fish.

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  • 01
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  • 02
    I, (17F), have always had a love for science. This year, I am taking a Marine Biology elective and it has been a blast! The content is very different from the typical science courses offered at my school, but that's what I like about it. Next month, after AP exams, the class will be going on a field trip. When I heard about
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  • 03
    the trip I was very excited and had my parents sign my waiver right away. The trip is $45. When my parents learned the trip isn't free they told me I could no longer go. I was a bit confused because my parents had never rejected academic field trips, and had paid for more expensive non- academic trips before.
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    I respected their decision, however when I told my teacher why I could no longer attend she told me about how the school sponsors extra tickets and that there were some unclaimed ones. When I told my parents about this they told me not to accept "handouts" because it would be embarrassing for them. There point felt a bit self-centered, so I
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  • 05
    submitted my waiver and accepted the free ticket. Last week my parents got the confirmation email about the trip. For the past -3 days they have been calling me ungrateful and spoiled for doing this behind their back. They have also been trying to make an example of me to anyone who will listen. At first, I felt bold and empowered for signing up for the trip but now I am not sure if I made the right choice. AITA?
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  • 06
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: I signed up for the trip without asking and used a waiver that my parents signed BEFORE knowing of the price.
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    via Sorin Basangeac

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    ExtremeOk9633 You are not at all the a hole. I also study Marine Science, and I hope you can continue to study it in the future! The world would be better for it :). It's wonderful that the school is supportive of your endeavors, and your parents should be as well. It's experiences like these that will shape your interests
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    / goals, and it's your parents' job to support them. Maybe you should have a serious conversation with them about why they're so opposed to the trip, and explain how much it means to you. Congrats for taking this opportunity into your own hands, and advocating
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    for something you care about! This is a great step towards a bright future. Hopefully your parents will appreciate your courage and determination later on.
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  • 11
    anditurnedaround No! NTA At first by your title, I was wary. Since it was not actually a teacher paying. It's fine. Your parent's pride has been hurt. It's odd they are telling anyone if that's the case. Is
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    there some other reason they would not want you to go other than not being able to afford it? I can't imagine any parent Not Wanting their kid to go on a field trip in a subject they really like. Hopefully they will swallow their pride ( if that's what's wrong) and be happy you had the opportunity to go.
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  • 13
    Spiritual-Relief-167 NTA. there's definitely something more there for their reasoning of really not wanting you to go but i think you should 1000% go and maybe it's some kind of jealously in not too sure. def some sh to unpack there
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  • 14
    DeWin1970 Accept it and go on your trip, if they try to stop you, tell them the school already has the waiver. I was in ocean biology myself at Sunset High in Beaverton, Oregon, our trip to the upper Oregon coast was quite fun. Oh, and the trick to winning the sand crab race is to keep the crab in your cupped hand with water, it keeps them refreshed :)
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  • 15
    InstructionTop4805 NTA. I can't imagine any caring parent denying their child a wonderful educational opportunity out of misplaced pride. I wonder if they would think differently if you had been. awarded the ticket for excellence in class? Which
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  • 16
    would be a good way to frame it to them. Your teacher obviously felt you are an engaged and deserving student to offer you the ticket. Please enjoy the trip! 9
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  • 17
    Character-Twist-1... NTA but can't they cancel the signed waiver. If you're 17, don't you still need permission to go? Tread carefully. And if they do retract permission embarrass them for that...or if you need to remind them that you will tell everyone if they do retract and why which would be far more embarrassing.
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  • 18
    Swim-Last NTA. In the grand scheme of things, it feels like they are trying to hold you back from an opportunity due to their personal issue with accepting "handouts". Sometimes people go through financial issues, but
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    that's why there are options for help. This is just one of those cases, and there's no reason to feel shame over that. Why should you miss out on an opportunity over an ego?
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