25-year-old rejects boyfriend's proposal after he uses the ring his ex picked out for herself, her friends side with him: "It's just a rock, he still chose you"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 3, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Before my partner proposed to me, I had never owned an expensive piece of jewelry in my life. My priciest piece at the time was a necklace that had cost me fifty bucks at an estate sale. I had only ever worn cheap rings that left stains on my fingers, and I had lost every single one due to carelessness and constant fidgeting. 

So, when my partner asked me about rings, I begged him not to spend more than a couple hundred on it. I did, however, point him towards a style that I really love: the fede ring, which is a type of ring that features two clasped hands, sometimes holding an object. He ended up getting me just that, and the object in question is a small flower with a tiny jewel in the middle. While I did not point out the exact ring in a catalogue or try it on at a store myself, I would be utterly devasted to find out that he repurposed it if we were to ever break up – as was the case in our story today!

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  • 01

    AIO walking out my boyfriend's proposal because he did with ring his ex picked out herself?

    Cheezburger Image 10499815424
    via TryMyBest

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So, this might sound insane but buckle up. My (25F) bf (29M) of 3 years finally popped the question last weekend. Super cute setup low-key, just fam and close friends, fairy lights, the whole vibe. I was hyped... until I clocked the ring. Instant ick. Like, I knew that ring. I'd seen it somewhere before.
    via u/annagiraffee
  • 03
    Fast-forward to me pulling him aside like, "Hey, quick Q... where's this ring from?" And this man has the audacity to tell me it's the one he was gonna use to propose to his ex. And not just any ring she picked it out back when they were playing house.
    via u/annagiraffee
  • 04
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    via Robert Kneschke

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  • 05
    I was like, excuse me?? He says it's "just a ring," and that I'm overthinking it. That it doesn't "mean anything anymore" and he didn't wanna drop more money when he already had "a nice one just sitting there."
    via u/annagiraffee
  • 06
    Nah. I couldn't even process. I dipped. I didn't cause a scene just told him I needed air and bounced. He's been blowing up my phone since, calling me dramatic and saying I embarrassed him in front of everyone.
    via u/annagiraffee
  • 07
    Some of our friends are siding with him like "girl, it's just a rock, he still chose you," but others are like, "nah that's a recycled proposal and you're not crazy for walking." So yeah... AIO for walking out because my man tried to propose with his ex's dream ring?
    via u/annagiraffee

  • Her friends are being way too forgiving. I wonder if they'd react to graciously if this happened to them!

  • 08
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    via bowie15

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  • 09
    rstock1962 Just curious why the previous proposal didn't happen. Why is she an ex now?
    via u/rstock1962
  • 10
    annagiraffee OP I don't know anything...I am curious too. Generally we haven't spoke about previous relationships
    via u/annagiraffee
  • 11
    Sirocco Dream NOPE. He could have taken that ring to a good jeweler and paid to have the materials re-used: melt the gold, change the stone placement, the works. It wouldn't have cost nearly as much as a new ring, and it could have been made to suit your tastes perfectly!
    via u/SiroccoDream
  • 12
    But he decided it was better to cheap out and slide you a ring with a ton of emotional baggage instead. You didn't overreact, and you are lucky to see this side of him before you agreed to marry him. I wouldn't 100% say this relationship is over, but it doesn't look good!
    via u/SiroccoDream
  • 13
    Is he usually this cheap and socially awkward? Does he get mad at you for things he's done wrong? If he's got a bunch of other red flags, move on.
    via u/SiroccoDream
  • 14
    Dexter52611 This! At the every least, he could have worked with a jeweler to reuse the materials. and what he did was He's a lazy a disrespectful.
    via u/Dexter52611
  • 15
    SophieLotus And because of this, I think you shouldn't marry him. I think before marriage you should speak about 1 previous relationship, specially If he wanted to propose. Why? Just to get to know more of this person that you are expecting to spend the rest of your life with. Don't judge, just listen and get to know a lil bit more.
    via u/SophieLotus
  • 16
    Brains4Beauty Agreed. I think OP needs to know why he was ready to propose to his ex and that didn't happen. Or did he and they broke up when engaged? Either way I don't blame her for reacting this way.
    via u/Brains4Beauty
  • 17
    whoknowswhywhat Maybe the "ring" he was planning to propose with was meant for the ex before the last ex lol. She clocked it and vanished from the life of this "Recycler of the ring"!
    via u/whoknowswhywhat
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10499815936
    via stevecoleimages

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  • This is just a taste of the treatment she would've gotten if she had chosen to stay with him. She would spend the rest of her life getting half thought-out gifts instead of special presents catered to her tastes.

  • 19
    Nige78 NOR. I would be equally offended if I were you.
    via u/Nige78
  • 20
    Iroza711 Id be wanting to throw that ring back in his face like sorry love I don't want your exes hand me is wrong with guys sometimes. downs.
    via u/Iroza711
  • 21
    ForensicGothology Him proposing with that ring was f*king crazy. How come she got to choose her perfect ring out, and yet you have to settle for a ring meant for someone else, that's messed up! He should have sold the ring and got something he knew you would like, not just insert you into a proposal originally planned for
    via u/ForensicGothology
  • 22
    someone else. You're a whole unique person with your own needs and wants, and it sounds like he just subbed you in after the ex left the playing field. He also didn't take your feelings into account at any point here, even when you confronted him about it. Honestly sounds like he just wants to be married, and it almost doesn't matter who to, no effort here whatsoever. The relationship would be done for me.
    via u/ForensicGothology
  • 23
    Pomksy you hit the nose on the head. She got to choose and OP gets leftovers. He didn't choose you over her, she left his a and you again got leftovers. This is not the man for you, but that's on you to decide what you deserve
    via u/Pomksy
  • 24
    dontbelievethefife Yup. And the whole "it dosen't mean anything", yeah, we got that. He litteraly found the perfect way of showing OP she dosen't really mean anything to him. I'd be out.
    via u/dontbelievethefife
  • 25
    Ravenclaw_Royality Not overreacting, it's a little icky him proposing with a ring he pick for an ex It's hurtful he didn't take into consideration your taste/style at all. Plus his excuse of "I already bought this ring and I didn't want to spend more money
    via u/Ravenclaw_Royality
  • 26
    getting another ring" is so messed up, he does know he can SELL that ring and get his money back or however much he can get for selling the ring then he can save up a little money to get you a ring that's actually for you
    via u/Ravenclaw_Royality
  • 27
    Your a better woman than me, the moment I saw that ring I would of said something, even if he was down on his knee and just asked me to marry him in front of everyone I would of been like "wait a second isn't that the ring your ex picked out for you to propose to her?"
    via u/Ravenclaw_Royality
  • 28
    torgeaux42 Theory one: he is a cheap a h_le and is waving a flag at you that your future will be filled with "good enough" without considering your thoughts. Two: he knew this would be unacceptable if you knew and
    via u/torgeaux42
  • 29
    was hoping you wouldn't notice, waving a flag that he's going to be untrustworthy going forward. Three: he's a dumba who really thought "it's just a ring" and is waving a flag that an idiot proposed to you.
    via u/torgeaux42

Tags

boyfriend break up AITAH toxic Female Empowerment proposal relationships girlfriend couples exes love breakup engagement red flag relationship drama engagement ring dating
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