UPDATE: 26-year-old buys 24-year-old GF expensive tickets for her birthday, gets ghosted, rescinds gift without telling her: 'I got a bit salty about that kind of money going to someone who just vanished'

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
May 2, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

It's always fascinating to witness the disintegration and aftermath of a new relationship from an objective perspective. When you're in it, it's impossible not to mix the facts of the situation with your own emotional response. This is why it takes approximately a century to properly process what went wrong after a breakup. Seriously, no amount of venting to your bestie seems to be enough to encapsulate all your feelings on the matter. However, when you're tracking the dissolution of a relationship in which you have no personal stake, it's much easier to identify the red flags and the point of no return. If only we could have that level of intuition and analysis when it comes to our own love lives, but alas!

In this instance, we started off with a seemingly meaningless confrontation between a 26-year-old dude and his 24-year-old girlfriend when he noticed that she would always order a big meal but took the vast majority of said meal home with her. This wasn't a red flag or anything, but it definitely caught the boyfriend's attention. Cut to two weeks later, everything fell apart, and all that was left were the expensive opera tickets he gifted her in advance for her birthday!

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    Cheezburger Image 10500755968
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We have to hand it to the folks in the comments section of this online community, who pointed out to the author that the behavior he was witnessing regarding his girlfriend's eating habits was, unfortunately, common among younger women in the dating scene. Furthermore, he later learned that she was having financial troubles and wanted to save some food for the week. Even though he was completely understanding of the situation, things took a sour turn when she unexpectedly ghosted him despite his recent luxurious gift.

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    So I have been dating Cass for about 4 months now. I feel like we've gotten into a very good rhythm of things, and I've enjoyed every date with her. The
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    only thing I question is whenever we go have dinner at a restaurant. No matter where we are, Cass will just buy the biggest plate, like a platter, but throughout the dinner will just poke at her meal while we talk. By
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    the time the check is cleared, the majority of the plate is still there and Cass takes it home. The issue isn't money, even if Cass gets something expensive I will just minimize my meal to stay within budget. The issue is just
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    that, I'm starting to feel a certain way having dinner with Cass just for her to barely eat anything but take the rest home. Why ask for so much food if she knows she won't finish? Is there an issue at
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    home where she needs to take extra food? Is she not actually hungry and just agreeing to have dinner for something else?
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    As a boyfriend, I'm comfortable with giving a helping hand when she needs it. But I'm not sure if I'm overthinking, or maybe crossing a boundary we haven't reached yet. Is this something where I should just be upfront and ask her about?
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    comments commenter Many women, including me, were trained to eat like a bird in front of men. I rejected this intentionally as a girl, preferring
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    the cool "guys girl" attitude that I could eat with gusto & drink you under the table and still be pretty hot. But on dates and at lunch interviews with men that I wanted to impress, I could easily eat only
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    a few bites of my very dainty salad even when starving. I'd then inhale my leftovers as soon as I was home.
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    OP I feel like this might be the issue. I should have mentioned it in the post but thinking back on it,
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    she has never suggested we eat together. Last night we had our movie date, and we shared my popcorn and I snuck in her favorite snack. Cass held the bucket and was pretty
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    wasn't reaching for it. She was about to go home, and I asked if she would have dinner with me. Cass has never asked if I could take her to dinner or anything like that. I'm the one who wants to eat.
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    So I'm leaning towards that she just doesn't want me to see her eating, or she just might not have enough food at home.
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    Hey everyone, so I posted on here a few weeks ago about my then gf, Cass. So as a mini- update to that dilemma, she was having food issues at home. I offered to help and she accepted.
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    However it doesn't really matter. She ghosted me two weeks later. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't hurt, but for the most part I've moved on. We had a short lived romance, and for what it was I liked it. And I'm not going to ask why she would do something like that.
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    The main issue I'm having is about a gift I got for her birthday. Cass has always wanted to go the Met Opera but couldn't because tickets were too expensive for her. Since we had been dating for two months by that point, I was feeling pretty good about things.
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    I liked Cass, and I expected our relationship to last after her birthday. So I bought her a ticket. I only bought one for her since it would be on a day that I would be at work. I added her to the email,
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    so she also got the QR code for the ticket. She was very grateful at the time, but never mentioned it again so I honestly forgot.
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    As I was removing her from my socials I noticed that she had posted a story on Facebook about her early birthday present.
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    How she was so excited to go, and couldn't believe it was happening. I rarely go on Facebook so I never noticed it when she had posted it. Then I
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    saw the price for the ticket was still there, $224. Not going to lie, I got a bit salty about that kind of money going to someone who just vanished.
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    I checked the website, and of course there are no refunds. The only option they had was to exchange it for another show.
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    via Taylor Gregory

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    The opera isn't something that interests me, and I don't know anyone that would want to go. But part of me is tempted to just exchange the ticket to something else out of spite. I know Charlotte
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    loves when people are petty (its why I subscribed), but it feels really mean to just pull the rug out from under Cass. It's something she's always wanted
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    to go see. Maybe it's because there are still some feelings. there. Or maybe because it's just genuinely awful to do. WIBTA?
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    commenter If she really ghosted you out of the blue, you could change it and not be the A-h e. You'd be kinda petty, but thats ok sometimes ;) IMO you dont owe anything to someone who treats you like yesterdays leftovers.
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    BUT, if there is more behind the ghosting youre not telling us, you should not.
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    OP Finally decided to get around to looking at the responses. As far as I'm aware there isn't anything more to the ghosting.
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    Around two weeks ago she started being a bit more distant. Messages would be left on read, short responses, heart emojis stopped, no more good morning and good night. She cancelled on a date night. Two days later,
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    find out I'm blocked when I tried to plan another one. We've actually never had a fight for the almost five months we dated.
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    Final Update Apr 15th, 2025 Hey everyone, so since I got so much support in the last post I thought you at least deserved to know how it all ended. So I took the last few days to think things
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    over. And well turns out I didn't need to. The needle dropped on the whole ghosting situation with Cass. She was talking to someone else when she ghosted me. Many of my friends. suggested this at first, that she found a better offer and took it.
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    Her Instagram was the last thing I didn't remove her from. After that whole story on her Facebook, I decided to stay followed on her feed just in case I learned anything. Yeah she pretty much
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    started posting out at nice restaurants. Lots of vague love posts, and styling her hair like when we first started talking. She unfollowed a lot of people,
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    including me. And she puts a date with heart emojis on it. The date? 3 days after her last text to me.
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    Today she posted a picture, kissing a guy. Any lingering feelings of guilt d . I called Cass, wanting to just be direct. I
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    told her that I was actually unsure what to do with the gift, saying it wouldn't be appropriate for me to give someone an expensive gift when they have a new boyfriend.
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    She got a bit annoyed, saying I gave it to her when we were dating. That I shouldn't hold a grudge.
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    I said is it really holding a grudge when I just found out you were cheating on me? Cass lost it.
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    Saying that I was stalking her posts and coming to wild conclusions. I countered that was all I could really do when she ghosted me. She said that's just how she does things since a breakup is messy, and she's had bad experiences in the past.
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    Then the petty language started coming out. That her new boyfriend was more able to support her. That he was focused on the grind, while I'm working myself to d th to barely make ends meet. He can take her out
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    almost every day while I had to work around my schedule. I work in healthcare and if you've ever worked in a hospital you know its long hours. I countered that I gave her all my free time and if she had problems with our relationship she could have talked to me.
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    I ended the call saying her boyfriend could buy her the ticket instead. I exchanged the ticket for one to Carmen, and gave it to my mom as an early Mother's Day gift. Did I jump to conclusions, maybe. You can tell me if I'm in the wrong, since I actually did it. AITA?
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    commenter NTA! Yaaaay! That was so satisfying to read! Love the update! You are waaay too nice to even call her up and let her know when you couldve just done it. In the end, you did the right thing and im so happy for you!
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    You would be the AH to yourself if you didnt. She sounds like an entitled bullet. ch. You dodged a
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    P.s. You work in the healthcare, you a tough cookie. Lemme just remove my hat for ya. I just want to say we appreciate youuu! Your job alone is hard, you deserve to find someone who will understand you and support you. Keep bein amazin!
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    OP I definitely appreciate your kindness. Will not act like I'm a beacon of maturity and compassion. I am honestly fuming right now,
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    and there was a good amount of swearing at the end of that phone call. 5 months of my life wasted, all that money I could have used on anything else. Not
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    to mention all the other feelings that come with learning that I was cheated on. To rub salt on the wound Cass told me that 'at least she had fun'. Good to know that's what our relationship amounted to.
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Dating-Relationships boyfriend aita AITAH opera ghosted relationships girlfriend update breakup tickets dating
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