‘I just wanted something that was mine for once’: 19-year-old daughter leaves her birthday dinner after her parents make it all about her sister, displaying a pattern of favoritism that goes back years

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 11, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Not everyone makes a big deal out of their birthday. Some prefer to keep their circle small, not tell anyone about the day that they deem unspecial, and just enjoy every day like it's their birthday (which BTW, is awesome). Others want to make a statement and have a big ball, which is just as cool, too. Sometimes, just surrounding yourself with friends and family to help ease yourself into the next phase of your life, no matter how big or small, is just what you need. That is, unless your family prefers to show favoritism to your golden child sister, who has always garnered the attention that you deserved during special moments in your life.

In this next story, a 19-year-old woman goes out to dinner with her family and notices that her sister is the only topic of conversation. She states that this has always been the norm, without fail, and she decided that enough was enough. She leaves the dinner, only to later face further ostracization from her family for "overreacting". Scroll to read the full story below.

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  • "Ten minutes in, the whole conversation shifted to my sister."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Am I overreacting for leaving my own birthday dinner after my parents made it all about sister (again) family/in-laws"

    I turned 19 last weekend. My parents offered to take me out for dinner, nothing big, just me, them, my younger sister (16F),
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  • and a couple extended family members. I was really looking forward to it because honestly, I haven't felt very "seen" in my family lately.
    via curlsleepy
  • Dinner started off fine, but about ten minutes in, the whole conversation shifted to my sister. She just started doing modeling
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  • part-time, and suddenly everyone at the table was going on and on about her latest photoshoot, how pretty she looked, how proud they are, etc.
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  • I smiled and tried to be polite, but it kept going. My name barely came up. No one asked about school, work, nothing. Even when
    via curlsleepy
  • the waitress brought out the cake and said, "Happy birthday!", my mom actually said, "Let's take a photo of the girls they both look beautiful tonight!" Like... it wasn't about her?
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  • After about 45 minutes of smiling through it, I quietly excused myself, paid for my own meal (yes, really), and called a friend to pick me up. I didn't make a scene, I just didn't want to sit there pretending I was okay.
    via curlsleepy
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    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My phone blew up later. My mom said I was being dramatic and ungrateful, and my sister said I ruined "a nice night for no reason." My dad says I should've just spoken up if I felt hurt instead of "storming off."
    via curlsleepy
  • I don't know. I didn't want to fight, I just wanted my birthday to feel like mine for once. So... am I overreacting?
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  • R2face NTA this is one of those situations where even if you had spoken up, they would have called you dramatic.
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  • I'm in the same position in my family. I'm a woman working a manual labor job. My sisters and mom all work desk jobs at the same bank. So, when ever we all hang out, even when it's an occasion about me, it's about them. I stopped celebrating with them. I don't even tell them when I have a cause to celebrate, I just go out with my friends.
    via R2face
  • Miserable_Ground_264 Please PLEASE post about your wedding. It'll be a whole new level of 'zilla none of us have even conceived of before.
    via Miserable_Ground_264
  • appleblossom1962 NOR. I am sorry you felt overlooked. Is this how it has always been? If so, sit down with your parents and talk to them or write them a letter spelling out exactly how you feel about this. Sometimes a letter is easier because there's no yelling involved.
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  • Perhaps you should have told your family that you were going to leave since the birthday party wasn't about the birthday girl. I do wish you all the very best of luck and happy belated birthday.
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  • SpecialistFeeling220 Nta. You've probably dealt with this plenty. I know I have, I'm the older sister to a much attractive and charismatic younger sister, and nothing has ever been about me, either. When my son was born the celebrated her becoming an aunt, lol. Only you can decide for yourself when it's time to give up.
    via SpecialistFeeling220
  • Ballerina Cappuccinah So...if I found out that my adult child left their birthday dinner and paid for their meal, I would feel terrible for ruining their day...I'd call them and find out what happened. If they pointed out feeling a certain kind of way, I would acknowledge it, apologize sincerely, ask for forgiveness, and do whatever it took to make things better.
    via BallerinaCappuccinah

Tags

family drama aita entitled parents birthdays birthday family feud parenting dinner happy birthday entitled family birthday cake family dinner Reddit Parenting Fail entitled people
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