Woman fed up with being the household’s sole financial manager and ATM for her husband and mother-in-law, finally quits handling the money: ‘I pay all the bills, buy all the food, I'm the one who gives her money when she overspends, I was done’

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  • "AITA for completely stepping away from my household's finances?"

    "Today was the straw that broke the camels back"|
  • So to cut an already long story down some, I grew up in a house where money was used as a weapon. My parents used it against each other, against us
  • kids, against everyone in our lives growing up. Its caused me and both my younger siblings to be way more transparent with money than is honestly necessary.
  • Recently my husband and I got into a massive fight. Like almost ending the marriage kind of fight. During the height of it, he got petty and took the car without
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  • telling me. I work overnights and live about 35 minutes from my job. I normally leave an hour beforehand to account for traffic and to stop and grab me energy
  • drinks. I was asleep when he left and I was exhausted because it's finals at school and I've worked every night for 2 weeks due to losing a coworker. I woke up 10
  • minutes before work. Okay, fine, I got dressed and flew upstairs to see the car gone and him not answering me. I had to spend the
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  • last $40 we had to get a Lyft to work. I didn't too badly mind it because my paycheck was expected 8 hours from then at midnight.
  • Well he didn't check the account and tried to buy something that he mom asked for him to get. Obviously the purchase declined.
  • He told her he wasn't able to buy anything and nothing else. Didn't tell her the account only has 0.17 in it. Nothing.
  • She texted me and asked me if I'd cut him off from our bank account. I immediately told her I didn't and that I had told her as I
  • waited for the Lyft that it coated the last bit in our account for the day to get myself to work. She claims she didn't hear me say that.
  • Well since then, she has made an insane number of snide remarks to me, regarding my being the primary financial person in the
  • household. I pay all the bills, buy all the food, I'm the one who gives her money when she over spends. Her daughter has hated me since I started dating my
  • husband 15 years ago and for the last 2 years has been telling everyone I'm a money hungry b. Despite me supporting her and
  • her family for 2.5 years and giving her $5000 for the down payment on a house that she decided she didn't want so she instead got a massive computer and VR set up
  • with it. All because I said I couldnt financially keep supporting 11 people on my own (me, husband, MIL, SIL, her husband, my 3 kids, and her 3 kids).
  • Today was the straw that broke the camels back. My MIL made another comment and I couldn't take it anymore. I told my
  • husband I was done and the finances are all his. I won't even touch my paychecks. That they can have it all and I will just keep quiet.
  • My husband is trying to mediate but his mom is saying I'm being too sensitive. Her moving out isn't an option because
  • I am her only caretaker. I'm not going to stop taking care of her, I am just not going to engage anymore in finances. AITA?
  • Edit: one commenter said I was buying their love and approval, and theyre right. I'm going to open a seperate bank account and put my overtime in it to start. I have to go back to work now. I posted on my break but I'll continue reading and replying when I get off work on 7 hours. Thank you. I appreciate y'all.

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