14, 15, and 16-year-old siblings refuse to go to Disneyland with their stepmom, dad, and their 2 children on Mother's Day, stepmom calls their mom in tears: 'She was hysterically crying about my kids not being there and how they're her kids too'

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    LUCCHESE
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    AITA for laughing at my ex-husband's wife when she called me hysterically because my kids didn't choose to go to Disney with them on Mother's Day?

    My ex-husband (both 40s) and I share a 16 year old son, 15 year old daughter and a 14 year old son together. We separated when I was pregnant with our 14 year old and we officially divorced when he was 1. We have a very detailed court ordered parenting and custody agreement that I have always followed to the T. This is to avoid adding conflict to an already higher conflict situation.
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    For those who'll ask, my ex- husband's wife was not the reason we broke up. He did cheat on me during my third pregnancy and this was due to it being a high risk pregnancy where I could not engage in any sual activity with him. He felt it was a good reason to sleep with others. I did not. He has always believed I was
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    unfair to him. Yet he did go through a paternity drama with one of the women he slept with during that time. He was proven not to be the father but he expected me to be okay with him having unprotecteds someone else. with
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    All of this has made it difficult for us to co-parent. It's why we need everything spelled out and why we communicate via parenting app mostly. Our youngest has a medical issue so texting and calling is sometimes a requirement.
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    My ex-husband remarried 4 years after our divorce was finalized. From the beginning of their relationship there were issues with his wife and our children. His wife was all over the place with our kids and appeared to take her fertility troubles out on our children by being short and snapping at them or making them feel like a problem in the home. Yet she also wanted them
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    to call her mom and she wanted them to spend more time with her. There were times we returned to court over the issues in my ex's home. My ex tried to paint it was me alienating the kids from his wife, but he and his wife got three warnings for the very thing he accused me of. The judge said repeatedly encouraging children to call a
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    person other than their parents mom or dad was suggesting alienation of some kind. The warnings were spaced out enough that no consequences were ever given as a result. My ex and his wife were ordered to take parenting classes several years ago also.
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    I always encourage my kids to not be cruel to the woman their dad is married to. But they don't like her and they don't respect her really. They show her some respect but they don't actually have any for her. My older son. and my daughter have particularly had some encounters with her where they lost respect for her.
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    They were in therapy for many years because the burden of this woman's infertility and IVF struggles were shared with them. And done so in a way that was meant to coerce them to give her what she wanted. The therapists were godsends to us during that time.
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    Cheezburger Image 10504825088
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    Last year all three of my children were deemed old enough to decide whether they saw their father 50-50 as they had previously or whether one weekend a month would be the new parenting time split. All three chose to reduce their time to one weekend a month. This was something my ex and his new wife didn't like and tried to fight but the kids say was given more weight.
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    My ex and his wife did eventually have two children together. Yesterday they decided to go to Disney with the kids to celebrate Mother's Day. My ex called and asked me to let our kids come. I gave my kids the choice and they answered never. I already expected that but I didn't want to deny them the chance if they wanted it. My ex was furious but I
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    www 66
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    ended the second call and ignored further texts from him. Then I got a call from an unknown number around 3pm and it was his wife. She was hysterically crying down the phone about my kids not being there and how they were supposed to be because they're her kids too. I laughed at her antics and ended the call. I got
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    around a dozen texts in the next two hours and then my ex texted. me last night and this morning. telling me I was heartless and suggesting I should appreciate his wife loves our kids this much.
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    My issue was never her being good to them. It was the way she treated them. The hot and cold, the demands and expectations and attempts to guilt-trip them. It's the way she acted like she had as much of a right to be their mom as I had, and all because at the time she had no kids and had fertility troubles. It's the way she
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    made my ex's home h I for my kids. My ex allowing it is not something I've forgotten either. But I think it's crazy to think I should be grateful for any of this. But maybe I'm being an a hole. So I'll ask the people of Reddit. AITA?
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    issueshappy NTA. You took the hits so that your kids didn't have to. I'm so sorry for your kids. They shouldn't have to deal with adults who behave like that. I'm sorry you also have to deal with them.
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    MisForMomis900 OP I'll always do it. Protecting my kids is a job I take seriously. My ex and his wife have given me more gray hairs than my kids ever could.
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    boniemonie It was Mother's Day. Your kids were with THEIR mother: you! As they should have been! Apart from their shenanigans, I hope it was delightful.
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    Visual-Lobster6625 this woman's infertility and IVF struggles were shared with them. And done so in a way that was meant to coerce them to give her what she wanted. NTA - your children are not Emotional Support Children for this woman.
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    99% of the problems I see on Reddit regarding blended families happens when relationships are forced. She wanted the title of "Mom" so badly that she alienated the kids herself. Titles are earned, not demanded.
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    MisForMomis900 OP I can believe it. I think there are people who really need psychological support when it comes to infertility/fertility issues. Maybe you could save some of this. But maybe even without them she'd be a horrible person around stepchildren. It's difficult to judge.
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    DataZealous7633 NTA. Your kids made their choice. Her feelings aren't your responsibility. Respect is earned, not forced. Really never, but especially with teenagers. Sounds like she just showed one of the reasons the kids don't shine to her.
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    MisForMomis900 OP This is all true and the thing is she and my ex- husband are both blind to the reality that her own actions are the cause of all this. My ex-husband has destroyed his relationship with all three of our children over the woman he's now married to. He cries about our children and his younger children not being close. But he brought children into the mess he's in.
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    Pinepark And when they all are adults and have nothing to do with him he will try to blame everyone but himself.

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