Dnd player breaks up with girlfriend after she demands they stop all their fictional relationships with other players, dnd community sides with partner: ‘It’s not normal'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 12, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

We all know how intense a Dungeons & Dragons campaign can get, and how invested players can get while they are in the midst of one. If you've never played it, you probably would not understand, but these experiences mean a lot to people. Which means that they are willing to do a lot to make sure nothing changes, including messing up their personal lives.

Should a dnd player make drastic changes in their lives because of a game? That is a question only they can answer, but it seems like opinions on that matter vary. Some understand that boundaries should be placed in order to allow people to separate the dnd reality from their real-life reality, and some people think doing so might be taking it one step too far.

For example, if you found out that your romantic partner also has fictional relationships with other dnd players, would you have accepted it, or thought it was weird? What would you have done about it?

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  • This is a question the story below poses for the entire dnd community, after one player admitted to breaking up with their girlfriend because she was uncomfortable with their fictional relationships. Surprisingly, the dnd community supported the girlfriend, and many took her side by saying that it is not cool to date someone else, even if the relationship is completely fake.

    What do you think? Keep scrolling to read the full story, and let us know in the comments down below.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10504280064
    via 2H Media

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    dnd got me to break up with my ex

    just thought i'd share a funny story. obviously the title is a bit hyperbolized because there were many reasons leading up to it, but this was funnily enough my genuine final straw.
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 03
    i dated a very insecure person for almost an entire year (my self respect stat was direly lacking). we would constantly get into arguments about it with promises of change, and no follow up.
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 04
    the last straw came when my ex "found out" (they knew literally all along and would even ask to spectate) that i had the audacity to make my fake fantasy characters date my friends' fake
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 05
    fantasy characters, and implied heavily it was a form of cheating. i was so stunned by this because they'd known this was my primary hobby and still wanted me to drop in character relationships
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 06
    from longterm campaigns just to soothe whatever fed insecurity they had seeing people "openly flirt with me". i tried for over an hour to explain why a dwarf paladin Bingus Darkflame having
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 07
    a whirlwind romance with a transfigured mimic wizard is actually not cheating and a perfectly normal part of enjoying yourself at a table. none of this seemed to register because they still got insanely upset at me.
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 08
    i sat down and reviewed how over the past months, i would have to have confrontations about why it's not okay to get upset at me anytime i spent too long talking to any man, woman
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 09
    or vaguely humanoid shaped person-apparently, this now. extended to fictional ones. then i started to unpack all the other sh, and eventually it all unravelled.
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 10
    anyway, to conclude: many thanks to the D&D community, and to Bingus Darkflame for setting me free of this relationship by making out with a mimic sloppystyle.
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 11
    edit to clarify: they knew I've been playing D&D for years and that I do silly in character roleplay with ). they my friends- (none knew, thought it was fun and cute, and were completely fine
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 12
    with it. this was a conversation they reopened mid relationship after deciding i wasn't allowed to do it anymore.
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 13
    800 50 13
    via Timothy Dykes

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Former Sound6982 You probably did the right thing by breaking up with him (edit: her), since you basically said it wasn't a healthy relationship. But honestly, RP dating in a campaign isn't completely normal for everyone — it's not just
    via Former_Sound6982
  • 15
    casual flirting, it's romantic interactions every few weeks with someone who could hypothetically misinterpret things. Players aren't just actors; most of the time they're emotionally invested in their characters. (If another player's character attacked mine for
    via Former_Sound6982
  • 16
    no reason, of course I might get upset in real life.) And please, don't bring up real actors as an example—they've actually studied and trained for that. A group of teens (I don't know your age, just using an example) could very well experience it as something deeper than just casual flirting, without even realizing it.
    via Former_Sound6982
  • 17
    Slayer84_666 This is one of the reasons I never have in game relationships with other player characters. Even when I have relationships with NPCs I never go into deep role-playing with the dm or high detail with any description of what I do with said NPC. It's just a side note to the story.
    via Slayer84_666
  • 18
    gutti3 Not to be contareian but someone could genuinely have legitimate issues with their SO having an rp relationship. In this case they were probably overreacting but it wouldn't be crazy to talk to your SO before starting something like that.
    via gutti3
  • 19
    DuivelsJong The thing is, yes there were other things leading up to this. But if a guy player was constantly flirting with my girlfriend in front of me, or apart from me, it could make me feel a little weird too I think.
    via DuivelsJong
  • 20
    Arcanetrance As a dm I've ended romance in my games after watching a whole game implode over a strictly in game romance that started an out of game bit of drama that morphed into even more drama.
    via Arcanetrance
  • 21
    TrollTrolled Sorry, but roleplay 99% will evolve. I've known people who left their spouse and flew across the entire world to be with someone they had a "pretend" relationship with in roleplay. No joke.
    via TrollTrolled
  • 22
    weirdfeelings4341 OP 99% percent feels like too heavy and unprecedented statistics. i am sure this happens in some tables, but in mine that i've been running for 8+ years (with the same group of a dozen or so, my lifelong friends- half of whom are married happily), we've been playing the exact same way
    via weirdfeelings4341
  • 23
    with lots of adventure and a sprinkle of romance. a person had yet to leave their partner or spouse. in fact, at some point two players at my table who were dating IRL broke up, but had their PCs accidentally fall into a slowburn romance dynamic the next campaign anyway even though neither wanted anything to do with the other romantically anymore IRL. your experience is not universal (thankfully! feel horrible for that spouse that got left.)
    via weirdfeelings4341

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