Sister demands brother loan her $10k to help fund her wedding, his fiancée refuses, claiming the money must go to their own wedding: ‘We’ve worked really hard’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 15, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

When a couple gets engaged, one of the biggest challenges that usually comes with that happy occasion is saving enough money to actually be able to pay for a wedding. Weddings are extremely expensive, even if you are willing to settle for a small event. The basics alone – a venue, wedding dress, suits, photographer, and catering- are enough to have the happy couple start their lives together with a big debt, and who wants that?

What do engaged couples usually do to avoid sinking into wedding loans? They save money. They cut expenses, give up on dates, work hard, and save every dollar they can to afford the wedding of their dreams. It's not an easy task whatsoever, and for some, it takes years to reach their goal, but for the perfect wedding, it is well worth it, if you ask us.

Unfortunately, sometimes unexpected surprises might set the couple a few steps back in their wedding journey. That is when they have to make a choice, just like the couple in the story below tried to do.

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  • 01
    "It's just money, you'll make more"
    via SHVETS production

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The woman who wrote this story has been saving up for her wedding for the last two years. She and her fiancé have been working really hard to reach their goal, but it all might be crushed because of the fiancé's sister. This sister decided to get married herself, but she expects her entire family to help her pay for the wedding, including the happy couple who are still trying to save up for their own. 

  • 02

    AITAH for refusing to let my fiancé give his sister $10k for her wedding?

    I'm (29F) getting married this fall to my fiancé Mark (30M). We've been together for 5 years and we've spent the last two saving like crazy to pay for our
    via YingDomo04
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    wedding ourselves. It's not over the top or anything but it's important to us and we've worked really hard to make it happen without going into debt.
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    Mark's younger sister Jenna (26F) just got engaged about a month ago. She's already planning her wedding for early next year and somehow already
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    booked a venue. The problem is that she has absolutely no money saved. None. She lives like she's in a Hallmark movie. Constant brunches, weekend trips,
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    influencer content creation full time (which is... hit or miss at best), and just generally acts like everything will magically work out.
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    Now she's asking our families to "pitch in" so she doesn't have to cancel anything. And by pitch in, I mean she asked Mark to "loan" her $10,000. She
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    literally said, "you guys are already paying for your own wedding, what's the difference?" Here's where I might be the ah le. I told Mark no.
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    Like, hard no. We saved for our wedding. We made sacrifices. We held off on things we wanted to make sure we stayed within budget. I'm not about to let
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    him throw $10k at someone who just assumes someone else will clean up after her. And I love Mark, but he's kind of a pushover when it comes to his family.
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    Especially Jenna. She's always been dramatic and impulsive and he's always tried to be the one to "rescue" her. When I said no, she turned on me
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    immediately. Said I was "trying to come between them" and "making him choose" and "acting like she's not family." She even texted me some passive
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    aggressive cp about how some people are just "too materialistic to understand love." Ok. She's been blowing up the family group chat, trying to
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    guilt him into it. Their parents are "neutral" but I know they're hoping we cave. His mom even called him and said, "it's just money, you'll make more."
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    Cheezburger Image 10505141248
    via pixelshot

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Now Mark keeps bringing it up again like maybe we could give her a smaller amount. $2k, maybe $3k, "as a gesture." I said no. I don't care if it's $500. This is a pattern and I'm not playing along.
    via YingDomo04
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    And now I'm the bad guy. I'm the one "blocking" the family from coming together. But I'm also the one who's supposed to marry this man, share
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    finances, and build a future. And I really don't want to start that off by bailing out someone who hasn't even tried to help herself. Still, I keep wondering if I'm being too cold. I get that
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    it's her wedding and yeah, weddings are emotional. But so is ours. And we're not asking anyone for a dime.
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    So... AITAH for saying absolutely not to funding his sister's wedding?
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  • 21
    Barbola369 Clear NTA! This would be a deal breaker for me - I'm all for helping family in emergencies. If Jenna needed medical treatment or was stranded somewhere or something,
    via Barbola369
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    maybe I'd be more inclined to help but booking a wedding when you don't have the funds to do so doesn't count, and asking you to compromise your own savings and sacrifices
    via Barbola369
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    because she can't be a ed to work harder or save up is seriously entitled. If my fiancé didn't have my back on this and allowed his family to buy and guilt trip me for saying no, I'd be saying no to marrying him.
    via Barbola369
  • 24
    SadFlatworm 1436 Mom says it's just money? Let mom hand over 10k !! NTA setting those boundaries early is really important for your future marriage.
    via SadFlatworm1436
  • 25
    Ok Distribution_2603 You should not have to work this hard to convince your future husband where his obligations really lie. NTA but this is quite a concerning sign for your shared future.
    via Ok_Distribution_2603

Tags

daughter in law aita bride drama mother wife reddit story petty husband sister in law wedding mother in law family sister fiancé Reddit money
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