17-year-old daughter agrees to let mom use her bedroom as home office in exchange for money, leading jealous 15-year-old brother to accuse mom of favoritism: ‘You're out of luck, son’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 23, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

One thing I have always loved about the way my parents raised me is that I never had to rely on them for money. It's not that they made me get a job, even though I did have my fair share of those; it's just that they made up a system that allowed me to feel independent and have control of my own little funds.

Every month, my parents would give me $100 as an allowance, and I could do whatever I wanted with that money–go out with friends, buy new clothes, or save it up for other occasions. I had to pay for everything that was a 'want', and what counted as a 'need' would be funded by my parents. That system worked great for all of us. My parents didn't have to monitor any of my expenses, and I felt independent enough to make decisions with my own money.

Even though it was great for me, finding a system that works best both for the parents and the children is not as easy as it sounds, and many parents struggle with it, just like the mom in the story below. When she offered to pay one of her kids 'rent' to use their bedroom as a home office, she was immediately accused of treating them unfairly…

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    Cheezburger Image 10507589888
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for giving my daughter $60 a week, but my son nothing?

    I (45F) have two kids, 17F and 15M. We moved earlier this year to be closer to my parents as my parents health is declining. My daughter was excited about
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    the move, but my son has struggled to adjust. Due to the move, my job shifted to hybrid, and I needed a work-from-home setup. My bedroom is too
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    small, and the only options. were the lounge or one of the kids' rooms during school hours. I proposed this to them - my son flat- out refused ("no way in
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    h"), but my daughter offered her room and half- joked about charging me rent for the space. I thought it was fair, as I get a $20/day work-from-
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    home allowance. I agreed to give it to her if she was okay with me setting up a small office in her room. I work from 8:30 to 5:00, and she usually starts
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    homework right after I finish, so it's worked out well. Now the issue: my son is ped that his sister is
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    getting $60. I don't do regular allowances, just canteen money (about $10/week) and other needs as they come up. I told him he had the same
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    opportunity and was now sh out of luck. He got angry and brought up the move, saying he never gets to see his friends. (For the record, I drive them back to
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    visit every two weeks for visits) I told him I understood his feelings but said I wouldn't tolerate being spoken to like sh He then started an argument with his sister
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    too - going in on her for being an opportunistic b and she called him a whiny little a h le. To cool off, I offered one of them the option to stay at
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    their grandparents for the night - not as a punishment but to break the tension. My son opted to go & while dropping him off, my mom told me I was favoring my daughter and
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    should be paying them equally. My dad disagreed, saying my son had the chance and was sh out of luck. AITA?
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    Cheezburger Image 10507582208
    via denozy

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    ETA: The conversation took place over the course of the afternoon, and I didn't immediately agree to the deal with my daughter. I offered it to my son first,
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    who reiterated "I "I no" and "get the f out of my room". I also should mention the reason I have the smallest room is due to the lack of
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    insulation in the ceiling and flooring making it damp, and as we're heading into winter I wasn't sending either kid in there. The room also fits a single bed, and a set of drawers - with
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    essentially no other space at all. We own the house in Auckland NZ, and I don't have the spare cash to get it insulated at the moment (or even fit any of my equipment to work from home in there).
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  • When dealing with siblings, it's even harder to find a system that works for everybody. No matter what they do, parents are always going to be accused of treating their children differently and favoring one over the other.

    However, in the case of this story, many people believed there were still better ways to approach the situation, so keep scrolling to read those.

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    Atlas_Hid Offer your son a "job," like weekly a couple of things to do. It could be things like taking out the garbage or yard work or even vacuuming. That way he has an opportunity to receive money too.
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    alyxmorganvo NTA I'm with your dad. Your daughter took the option to co-share her room, & came up with a win-win situation. If your son had been
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    less angry with you over the move, he might've come up with a similar solution. It's too bad that your son is having such a hard time with the move, but you're right that he has
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    no call to treat you like cop or talk to you like c p. Hopefully things will calm down eventually & that your son will start making new friends.
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    Crafter_2307 YTA. You said he was having trouble adjusting - that's the only safe space he currently has. Anyone, especially a teenage boy is going to have a knee j reaction to a
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    suggestion that his space may be invaded. You've uprooted his life - and by the sounds of it he doesn't have the income to be able to go socialise with anyone else outside of school even if he's invited.
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    You must've known the limitations in advance and this should have been discussed before moving.
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    HolyUnicornBatman NTA. I'm with your daughter and dad. Despite it starting as a half- joke, your daughter's quick thinking (and kindness to agreeing to your situation) nabbed her extra money. It just goes to show that
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    being nice and kind in any situation (familial or anything in the real world) can have positive consequences.
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  • 28
    maloneth YTA. Take everything you said out of the equation. Put all that to the side for now. And just focus on this next part.
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    Look at the power dynamic you've instilled between your daughter and son. What negatives could possibly result from this? Tons. Jealousy. Resentment. Maybe even violence.
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    What positives could possibly result from this? I'm genuinely asking, because I don't know.
    via maloneth

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