Mom drains 18-year-old son's bank account after he leaves home because she went through his belongings: 'I called her out'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 19, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

It is no secret that parent-child relationships can be fraught as kids come of age. Adolescence is a time when people go through a lot of changes that can be difficult to deal with for both themselves and other people, and on the flip side, those who have always had a strained relationship with their mom or dad often find this to be a period where they start realizing things and standing up for themselves.

The latter event can come as a nasty surprise for parents who desire a sense of control over the lives of their kids, and more often than not, they find ways to retaliate if their children rebel. To pretty much nobody's surprise, that usually makes an already messy situation even more complicated, and does no favors to their kids wanting to maintain a relationship with them. Whether they like it or not, that control can only last for so long.

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  • 01

    AITA for leaving my mom’s house after she went through my stuff without my permission?

    I (18m) went to the store to pick up laundry detergent, and returned home to see things in my room weren't where they were, including my locked safe that only I had access to being open. I came out of my room and my mom was holding my dab pen (legal for my age in my state) and a fake ID I had while I was in college, and was furious. She was yelling at me and cornering me in my room, so when she went outside to smoke, I packed my bag with a few sets of clothes, and left. I am now living with my d
    via Correct_Jury_5273
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10507485696
    via Fethi Benattallah

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is how one young man felt after his mom went through his belongings, causing him to snap and move out to his dad's house on the other side of the state. 

    Angered by his snap decision to leave her home, she retaliated by taking all the money out of his custodial bank account. She refused to return the money to the account unless he came to visit her and get a check, which he didn't want to do. He wanted to know if he had been in the wrong.

  • 03
    When I was 16, my mom set up a custodial account under my name that I could use for my direct deposit for my job. If you're not familiar with a custodial account, it's a bank account that both you and your parents have access to. It's like a joint account, however, the adult is not legally allowed to mess with the funds in the account. When I left, my mom transferred all of my money out of the account. I called her out on this, and she responded bluntly saying things like "I only did it to get y
    via Correct_Jury_5273
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10507485952
    via Visualss
  • 05

    Commenters were on the son's side.

    NTA HotSatin Call the bank. Or go down there. Tell them the money was fraudulently withdrawn. Consider telling your mom that you're going to file a complaint. Tell her she can put the money back while you're filing it to make the complaint go away. Stand your ground. But live your life right, too. You parents will be there when you need them. But they no longer have the ability to demand your obedience. That being said: You didn't exactly "move out", you just bounced to the other parent. Burning
    via HotSatin
  • 06
    The odds of the bank actually being able to do anything. regarding the fraudulently transferred funds are very small. Mostly because you're young and they'll do everything they can to dissuade you from filing a complaint. Most notably, they will IMPLY but never say you can't file a complaint. "Nothing we can do" is not the same as "you can't file a complaint". And of course, you can file a complaint against the bank, too. Googling how to do that while in the presence of the person patronizing yo
    via HotSatin
  • 07
    True Teacher6350 Not legally allowed to mess with the money but has access to do so? Sorry just trying to understand how the account works. NTA your mum crossed your boundaries by going through your stuff and you have a right to move in with your dad. You earned the money and are entitled to it, her withholding it from you is a toxic manipulation tactic. What does you dad have to say about this?
    via TrueTeacher6350
  • 08
    Correct_Jury_5273 OP Yeah so the point of the account is so the parents can access it and supervise it. The only time the parent is allowed to mess with the money is to either transfer funds into the account or take funds out only for the account holders direct benefit. My dad took me in, as him and my mom have had a very hate-driven relationship. She has kept me and my younger brother from him on multiple occasions. He's extremely ped off at her, and happy I'm finally able to move back in with
    via Correct_Jury_5273
  • 09
    lunazane26 NTA - If "the adult" is not legally allowed to touch the money then you need to go down to the bank, tell them what happened, and demand they give you your money back. This is fraud and/or theft. Your mother is ab ive and manipulative. The fact that you think you might be an a hole for leaving a place where you are being abused is very concerning, please try to talk to a professional at some point if you can because I think this is an indication of a much deeper issue
    via lunazane26
  • 10
    ihate_snowandwinter So get your pay stubs and bank records. You may be able to report her to the police for theft.
    via ihate_snowandwinter
  • 11
    MqAuNeTelnS Nta and call the police. She is stealing from you.
    via MqAuNeTeInS
  • 12
    rocketryguy NTA, glad you're seeing her for who she is. So sorry that you got short changed, in both senses, in the mom department. She isn't going to change most likely, so you may have to go no contact for your own mental health. It's your life in the end, so while burning bridges is usually a bad idea, particularly at your age, if in a few years you feel like that's the right thing, it's a choice you can make then. In the meantime of course I would not go back no matter what, unless you bring
    via rocketryguy
  • 13
    Intelligent-Bend3862 NTA. Go to the bank.
    via Intelligent-Bend3862
  • 14
    Minniemeowsmomma NTA Go to the bank, report her for fraudulent withdrawal etc you probably aren't going to get a dime of that back, btw. Also, file a police report about it. Dont back down either. You're not being the AH. But she most certainly is.
    via Minniemeowsmomma
  • 15
    Zefram71 NTA, talk to your dad about what to do, and followhi his advice. She's probably mad about losing the child support.
    via Zefram71
  • 16
    twylahelnot Just leave. You're better off without her.
    via twylahelnot
  • 17
    Mindless_Gap8026 will NTA. Don't accept a check from her. Tell her that you meet her at the bank where she will withdraw the funds from account in cash and give the cash to you. If she doesn't, you will be forced to take legal action. Frankly I wouldn't trust any check she would give me. She can call get a stop payment for the check. Hopefully you have statements that show the only money going into the account was from your direct deposits. You might want to go to one of the legal subreddits. Th
    via Mindless_Gap8026
  • 18
    Kind_Substance_2865 NTA. Get legal advice about the money she stole.
    via Kind_Substance_2865
  • 19
    Funny-Draft-5254 Do you have any relatives who she wouldn't want finding out that she stole your money? If so, could you ask them to intervene?
    via Funny-Draft-5254
  • 20
    sk1999sk NTA - your mom is wrong. She probably will not give your money back. Open an account at a new bank. get the police to get your belongings.
    via sk1999sk
  • 21
    ConsistentBus6742 My understanding was that custodial accounts become the child's account once the child turns 18. If thats the case then what she did was illegal. Otherwise it wasn't a custodial account. You may want to verify this and file a police report.
    via ConsistentBus6742
  • 22
    Correct_Jury_5273 OP They have to be signed over, which I have asked and she has refused. That part is legal and there's nothing I can do about her not signing it over
    via Correct_Jury_5273
  • 23
    NAH rırırırırır You didn't passively have a fake ID while you were (past tense) in college back before you were 18. That's a choice you made. And if you're 18, then way back in college was what, last month? Hiding evidence of illegal behavior isn't what normally constitues validly private space. Hiding evidence of illegal behavior is what negates rights to privacy. She can be liable for stuff in her house whether it was your dumb idea to bring it there or hers. You've given no valid reason for r
    via rlrlrlrlrlr
  • 24
    QXYZ696 Document, Document, document. Tell mom your going to the cops if it isn't returned to file a complaint of theft. You need to have this in writing from the police so she understands you are serious. What bridges are left will be burned.. depending on how much money was in there if this is worth it. Good luck She was concerned about your health but she acting in the extreme to control you.
    via QXYZ696

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