14-ear-old sprinkles itching powder on dad's affair partner during wedding, 19-year-old brother accused of sabotaging wedding for not speaking up about prank beforehand: “He looked like he had fleas”

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    AITA for not stopping my little brother from humiliating our dad's husband on their wedding day?

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    LI (19M) attended my dad's wedding last weekend. He married Kevin (36M), the guy he cheated on our mom with. I was 16 when it came out that our dad (44M) had been having an affair with Kevin for months. Our mom was blindsided. It was messy and
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    ugly and destroyed our family. My little brother, "Sam" (14M), took it especially hard. He hasn't spoken to our dad unless absolutely necessary, and definitely never accepted Kevin. I've been more neutral, mostly for survival cause I still need help with school, rent, etc.
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    Anyway, our dad basically pressured us into being part of the wedding. Sam didn't want to go at all, but our grandparents begged him, so he caved. I should've known something was up when he got real quiet the morning of.
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    So here's what happened: Right before the ceremony, while everyone was getting ready, Sam offered to help Kevin with his tux jacket. Kevin handed it off while checking his phone or something. Sam slipped away for a few minutes, then came back all innocent.
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    What none of us knew was that Sam had taken a little container of itching powder he ordered online, and rubbed it into the armpits and collar lining of Kevin's tux.
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    Cut to the ceremony: Kevin starts fidgeting. Then scratching. At first it was subtle, but by the time they got to the vows, he looked like he had fleas. He was tugging at his neck, rubbing his underarms, visibly
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    sweating and red. Guests started whispering. Our aunt asked if he was having an allergic reaction. My dad looked confused, Kevin looked miserable, and Sam was sitting there with the blankest expression I've ever seen.
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    Kevin ended up rushing out before the ceremony finished. They had to stop everything for 15 minutes while he changed into a backup suit. The photographer had to scrap a bunch of photos. And of course, people started asking questions.
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    Afterward, my dad pulled me aside and asked if I knew what happened. I said no, because technically I didn't (but I had a pretty good idea). Sam confessed to me later and said, "He didn't cry, but he'll remember it. That's enough."
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    Now our dad isn't speaking to either of us. Kevin's family is saying we sabotaged their most important day, and my grandparents are saying we both need to apologize. I don't think I will.
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    I didn't plan it, I didn't do it, but I also didn't stop him. So... AITA for just letting it happen?
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    Tracie10000 Nta if you had no idea how could you stop him. Maybe don't force the child betrayed by your actions to be a part of such an important day.
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    kindaright-ish The oldest child is meant to be psychic, obviously. /s. Even if OP had known and stopped him, there's no saying that his brother wouldn't have cause a much bigger scene.
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    I'm all for not apologising. Let dad stew. If he hadn't forced his kids to attend, it wouldn't have happened. As for dad's in-laws, their sons happiest day was built on lies and betrayal and I'd tell them that too.
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    ImportantQuestions10 Exactly. I'm not saying this is healthy but f both adults in this story. My mom cheated when I was in highschool and a decade later has yet to admit any wrong doing. I have kept things civil with her partner for the most part but the things I would do to him if I had the chance pale in comparison to itching powder.
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    Whether or not the sibling was justified in their actions can be debated but it's just as much on the dad for ignoring the room and forcing his kids to be active accomplices.
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    velvetfern194 100% agree. don't poke the bear if you ain't ready for the claws. dad wanted the perfect pic but refused to deal w the pain he caused. Sam just reminded him it's still there
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    Super_Reading2048 Why should you apologize? You had no knowledge of what would happen and you didn't do it! Please tell your grandparents that. NTA
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    Kingdo7 Simple, the adults don't believe he didn't know or that he wasn't in the prank.
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    Expensive-Lock1725 Didn't see any mention of an apology FROM dad or Kevin. So, none owed by brother.
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    Expert-Bus9720 NTA. Your dad is the AH for forcing your brother to come to his wedding with the affair partner.
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    Due Positive8394 So it's okay for your dad to break a family up and expect everyone to move on and be okay with it. Without hashing things out between your dad and brother things will never be okay. So I feel the itch powder was just a way for your brother to feel some sort of pay back for the pain your dad caused.. But in the end no one wins.

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