Man's father-in-law expects him to make home renovations worth over $130k while paying rent and without putting their second home in his name: 'Now everyone is upset and apparently it's all my fault’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
May 30, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Our in-laws have a funny, magical way of striking just the right nerve for us to want to completely rid ourselves of their presence. Some in-laws have the audacity to expect things from us for free, only to make us pay for any sort of help in the future. Family doesn't exactly mean "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours," but it's nice not to be taken for granted. If you have a sneaky feeling about whether you should help your in-laws on some grandiose project, maybe this story will act as a cautionary tale for you.

The man who posted the story explains that their parents-in-law have a spare house, to which he offered his help renovating. These renovations are nothing short of costly, and the man's brother-in-law has no interest in residing in the home. So, the man offered to make over $130k worth of renovations in return for the house being in his name. This doesn't go at all how he planned…

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  • Is it so entitled to expect repayment of any kind based on the price of renovations this man is fronting? He simply wants the house in the long run, but the father not only demands that he make the renovations without getting his and his wife's name on the house, but he also expects them to pay rent in what is probably an illegal dwelling based on how unlivable it is in its current condition.

  • >> PINTURAS Tropi
    via Roselyn Tirado for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for refusing to pay my boomer in laws rent while I renovate their house- with only the option to buy half after they've d**d?"

    FiL inherited a house from his parents, which he has rented out for the past 20+ years. The house has not been maintained in this time and is now in need of
    via Mental-Asparagus8014
  • serious renovation. DH and BIL were always told they would inherit the house- like he did. MiL and FiL have their own property that has been mortgage free for
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  • years. Until last year, me and DH were living overseas, as were my BiL and his wife. They are settled overseas and will not return to the UK. We however, are now settling here.
    via Mental-Asparagus8014
  • Luckily FiL's spare house was free when we arrived home and moved in. The kitchen had disintegrated, ceilings had come down, there was damp on the walls- legally, there was no way they could have re-rented it.
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  • We have been working hard to get the house back into a decent standard. We've been cleaning, plastering, decorating etc.
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  • We had expressed to MIL and FIL that we would like to stay in the house permanently and make it into a proper family home. The house needs about £100,000 worth of renovations.
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  • We were hoping that FiL would agree to sign the house over to BiL and DH now and I would buy BiL's share. BiL isn't moving back and is also happy that we are
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  • back home to look after his parents in their old age. We understand that FIL gets a top up to his pension from rent and were happy to continue paying this- but with our names as owners.
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  • We thought that this way, everyone got what they wanted- FiL gets his pension top up with none of the LL responsibilities, BiL gets a cash lump sum and
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  • free elderly care for his parents, me and DH get a house that we love and keep in the family, MiL and FiL get their grandkids around the corner from them and family to look after them in their old age.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10510854400
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Boy, was I wrong. My in laws have informed me that we can stay living in the house, but pay £500 a month rent until they both di (20 years plus). I am welcome to
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  • spend my money on doing the renovations the house needs, but there will be no legal protection other than they will not legally kick me out as long as me and DH are married. Once MiL and
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  • FIL have both passed, the house will go to BiL and DH. At that point I can buy out BiL and the money I've paid in renovations will not be taken into consideration. And in the meantime I can look after them in their old age.
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  • I didn't react well to this and this is where I could be the a h le. I told FiL in no uncertain terms that I would not be doing this and that me, DH and the kids will buy our
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  • own place which will be closer to DH's work and near better schools. We'll be about 40mins away from them- not too far away, but not close enough to look after their daily needs in their old age.
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  • Now everyone is upset and apparently it's all my fault. I admit I could have handled it better, but how could they think that me paying them rent for 20 years,
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  • renovating the house and then handing over at least £200,000 to BiL when I am in my 60s was even financially possible? How do they think BiL is going to be able to look after them from overseas?
    via Mental-Asparagus8014

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement reddit story family feud parenting in laws entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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