Mother tries to force no-contact daughter into a reunion with a passport and essential documents, but the daughter shows up with backup, collects what’s hers, and walks away unfazed: ‘The universe wanted us to go over there and get my docs’

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    mom used my legal docs as bait to get me to break NC. So I showed up at her house

    PASSPORT "There it was, the carrot on a string. It was meant to draw me out of hiding"
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    Quick background: My father dd when I was a kid. Ab ive Nmom is a covert narc, which means she is mainly motivated by a strong feeling of shame and has horrible self confidence. Attempts to seem perfect to the external world at all times. She remarried when I was a
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    young adult to an enabling golden child of a husband. She used him to intimidate me, like a henchmen. I've been NC for over 10 years and have had to change my name and
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    phone number and move across the country to shake these narcs and keep them out of my life. If they find me, they'll never leave me alone.
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    Cheezburger Image 10511319296
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    I ended up needing my old legal docs that came from another country so I can be reissued new ones. If I don't have the old docs I have to go through a lengthy process to confirm I'm a citizen in country I don't currently live in. A trustworthy family
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    member offered to ask Nmom for the docs, since that was one of the many things I left behind when I cut off contact. Reluctantly, I said yes, fully knowing Nmom would never give it up that easily. The
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    response from Nmom came that morning. She told the family member "if [my de d name] wants her docs, she 'knows my number and can come get them personally.""
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    Cheezburger Image 10511318784
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    There it was, the carrot on a string. It was meant to draw me out of hiding. My heart sank, but my dear husband said we should go- we happened to be 2 hours away from nmom's house visiting old friends.
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    The universe wanted us to go over there and get my legal docs from her. The thought of facing her made me shake and all I could picture was this going down in chaos. I had a better idea - I was
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    going to see if we could have a police the kind I would recommend a friend bring to an ab ive ex's house if personal property needed to be retrieved.
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    PASSPORT of America United States FO
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    I called the non-emergency number in nmom's town and explained the situation - someone had my legal docs in their house and due to a history of violence | didn't feel comfortable going alone to retrieve them. Surprisingly they
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    were incredibly understanding and 2 officers met us down the block from nmom's house within 40 mins. They agreed to accompany us to the house to ensure everything remained peaceful. The abused side of me was afraid I'd have to "prove" things like the abuse or history of violence. I didn't. The officers were very kind.
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    They drove myself and DH to Nmom's house in the patrol car. Nmom's husband, let's call him Doug, was outside and clocked the cop car the moment we started to pull up. The officers looked at me and asked if I would prefer to stay in the car. H | yea I'm going to take you up on that. Officers and DH leave the car and approach Doug.
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    Now during this time I couldn't see or hear a thing because we were parked right next to a big evergreen bush that blocked my entire view of the situation. I practiced breathing exercises I learned from 20+ years of therapy, emdr, and meditation. According to DH, there was a direct interaction between Doug and himself. DH asked for the docs, Dough claimed they don't have
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    them. DH stated it's illegal to withhold someone else's legal docs from them. Doug ran inside and spoke to Nmom. Came back alone and said they don't have them again. He had some bs documents from elementary school in a folder and claimed that all they had of mine. DH confronted him with
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    "then why did your wife say she had the legal docs less than 24 hours ago and that we had to retrieve them personally to get them back?" Doug keeps saying they don't have them. DH pivots to "why don't we ask your neighbors if you've asked them to hide it for you?" triggering a narc's
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    nightmare. Doug runs back inside again and comes out saying that “if [my de d name] wants, she has to come search the house for it herself." Cops and DH verbally confirmed that we had permission to enter and search.
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    They came back to the patrol car and updated me. I knew it was a trap to try to manipulate me, but I said fine, I will go. I took a deep breath, put on my sunglasses, and got out of the car. As I entered the house, Doug goes "hello [de d name]. What's wrong? Couldn't come alone?" I didn't respond and just kept walking past him. "No" | hear DH directly behind me answer Doug. Inside, Nmom pops her head out from around a corner and
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    glares at me. "Shame on you [de d name]" she yells after me as I climb the stairs without even looking at her. Some part of me deep inside laughs at the subtle reference to cersi walking the streets of kings landing. The officers and DH follow behind me closely.
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    In their home office, I realize everything had changed in the 10+ years it's been since I had been there. I was out of my element. I look at Doug and ask "where do you keep important documents" still with my sunglasses on (kept them on the whole time inside). He opens a closet and swings open a safe that was already unlocked. I sit down and start pulling out folders, quickly trying to search for what I needed without showing that I'm shaking and panicking on the inside. I hear an officer say "I'
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    was hovering directly over me (I was so focused I didn't realize) and the officer pulled him into the hallway. "Hey, can I use your bathroom?" I hear DH say, and again, I laugh on the inside at the flex. He says Doug heard but ignored him.
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    Unfortunately it looked like they removed my stuff. She had a folder for her legal docs, a folder for Doug's and a folder for my father's docs- who has been de d for over 20 years. No folder on me... suspicious, because if she truly didn't have the one legal doc I was looking for, surely she would have a folder for all of the others that I wasn't asking for (like birth cert, old drivers licenses - she kept these for everyone including my dad). I think they hid it before I came inside, but it's n
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    desperately wanted to take my dad's folder but I knew that was not legally mine and I wanted to keep on the right side of things. Defeated, I put the folders back in the safe and backed away from it, showing the officer my hands to assure him I had not taken anything that wasn't mine. I walk out of the house, Nmom yells at me down the hallway again. Then an officer stops me and says Nmom said I could check the basement (my old apartment) if I want to. I say fine.
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    We head into my old apartment, and again everything has changed. Doug opens a closet and starts pulling out large storage bins. "This is yours. This is yours" he says about each bin as he aggressively slides them across the tiles at me. I hyperfocus on what he just said. "This is all my property?” I clarify in clear legal language as he continues to slide bins in my direction. There's maybe 8 of them. "Yeahhh" he says with a condescending attitude like they did me some favor by withholding my st
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    double down "so I can take all of this property of mine out of this house today?" Doug hesitates and looks at the cop. He realizes he just painted himself into a corner. He called it my property, which means he has to let me take it or else say in front of cops that he's withholding it. "Yes" Doug answers reluctantly.
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    DH and I start opening bins. There's a load of nonsense in there. Papers from school. Old grades. Trinkets from my shelves. Dolls in boxes that I wasn't allowed to play with. I open a bin that has all of my family photos, including baby pictures of me and photos of my dad. Two things I didn't have and have longed for. Definitely taking that.
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    Among the old Disney vhs tapes and old dvds, we found my yearbook, some diplomas (couldn't find my college diploma, but I can reorder it if I ever need it), and my dad's pocket watch with his name engraved in it. Also a random usb drive.
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    During the search, Nmom appeared and started putting on what DH described as a "one woman show." She approached him and introduced herself saying it was so great to finally meet him and how she wishes sob that it wasn't under these circumstances (cue shakey voice). According to him, she approached where I was bent down looking in a bin and HUGGED ME. I say that in all caps because I'm astounded that I didn't feel or notice it at all. According to DH, I didn't even flitch, I just kept rummaging t
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    off as though I slapped her and retreated to the basement stairs where she was telling some big sob story and crying. I look up at her and take off my sunglasses momentarily to lock in aggressive eye contact "where is it?" She immediately snaps out of crying like a switch was flipped and aggressively barked at me that she doesn't know because she didn't look for it. On the inside I'm fully enjoying the mask slip from her crying to instant viciousness in front of witnesses. I used to get gaslit b
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    Chef's kiss. I ask why she said she had it. She says because she thought she did but that yesterday she looked all day but couldn't find it. Me: "so you haven't looked for it, or you looked all day. Which is it?" I don't even bother listening to her response as she does verbal summersaults trying to make the math math. I knew talking to her would accomplish nothing.
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    I point to the two bins of photo albums and tell officers and DH I'm taking only those. They pick them up for me. I put dad's pocket watch and the random usb drive in my pocket and walk out of the house without another word while Nmom howls after me. It's Memorial Day so all the neighbors are home and have guests. DH said there were faces in all of the windows watching as I walked out of the house and into the patrol car, officer opening the door for me, while the other officer and my DH each ca
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    At the end of the day, I'm obviously bummed I didn't get what I came for and I'll have to deal with more bureaucratic nonsense. But I instead walked away with items that are, to me, priceless. I eliminated any last bit of leverage she had over me, because I searched all she claimed she had of mine and already I took the only things I cared about. And I sent a message: She doesn't have control. I am not with her strings anymore. I'm a successful, happy, healthy adult despite of all of the torture

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