Bride plans destination wedding at $6,000 beach house, then asks family members to chip in $500 each after offering it for free: 'I'm trying to do something nice and give everyone a nice vacation'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Jun 2, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Destination weddings. Do you find them fun… or a little entitled? Some commenters on this story definitely leaned toward the latter. Sure, it's the bride and groom's big day. If they're footing the bill, they should absolutely be allowed to have whatever kind of wedding they want. But you also have to expect that not everyone's going to show up. You can't just assume people are going to pay for flights, lodging, and take off work like it's nothing... on top of bringing a gift.

In this case, the bride and groom weren't even paying. They told the family the beach house was covered and then later asked everyone to chip in $500 each for it. The weird part is it's also the venue where the wedding and reception are being held. So they framed it like they were covering accommodations, but they're basically asking guests to pay for their wedding venue.

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  • "AITAH for refusing to pay for a portion of my sister's wedding?"

    My sister (25f) just got engaged and is getting married in less than a year. She's having a beach wedding (10hrs away). She asked me (25f) to be a bridesmaid and when she asked she stated "I'm paying for a beach house
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
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  • for the bridal party, their families/spouses, and mom and dad but your responsible for your way there and for your expenses while there".— that was 3 weeks ago. Fast forward to yesterday when she called just to
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • tell me that now she's requiring each family to pitch in $500 for the beach house, which she picked out and is $6000. Not to mention the beach house is where the wedding reception is being held and possibly even the wedding. I told
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
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  • her that I'd have to talk with my husband about that and that I don't feel comfortable paying that because we're already planning a vacation for next year that's out of the country (has been in the works for a year and half,
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • which she's known about) and that's a lot of money to ask for people to spend on top of just going to the wedding, taking off 3 days of work (she expects us to be there Th-M), and and bridal party expenses
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • (dress, H/MU, bridal shower, and bachelorette). She got mad and told me I was being selfish and not supporting her. She also said "I'm trying to do something nice and give everyone a nice vacation".
    via Helpful_Yesterday315

    How are you "giving" everyone a nice vacation if they are paying for it?

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  • Our mom told her that she might see it as a vacation but the wedding party and guests see it as just a wedding and will likely only be there for the wedding and that people have actual bills and stuff already going on (for
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • reference my sister still lives at home with my parents and only pays her car insurance and phone bill and makes $75,000 a year). So am I being the ah le for not wanting to pay a portion to stay in a beach house she picked out that's also a venue for the wedding?
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • Edit to add: while I completely agree with some of you comments regarding comparing condo/hotel/airbnb prices. with the extra $500 she's asking and with the "if you don't pay then don't expect to stay" trope...
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • when she spoke with me and the other bridesmaids she made it VERY clear that she WILL be renting said beach house for all of us to enjoy and stay in since we're her wedding party, including our parents. She
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • also said "since I'm paying for your lodging I won't be doing any bridesmaid gifts", which we are all completely fine with. We also knew from the beginning this beach house was going to be the reception venue. I
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • wouldn't mind paying an extra "fee" for all of us to stay in one big beach house together if that's all it was and if that's what was decided between us initially, but it wasn't. This is something she wants so we can "all hangout and
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • be together" and we also don't get a say in the price/budget of the house. It also doesn't sit right with me to pay a portion of someone's wedding venue just because I'd be sleeping there for 2 nights when
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • that's what was originally offered to me and my spouse.
    via Helpful_Yesterday315

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  • Advanced-Fig6699 Your mom is right. Just pay for your own accommodation and tickets. She wants the beach house she can pay for it.
    via Advanced-Fig6699
  • Historical-Composer2 You don't ask your guests to subsidize your wedding. It's tacky. NTA.
    via Historical-Composer2
  • Interesting_Hawk8033 You can't "require" your family to pay for your wedding. Don't pay the $500 - who knows what she will ask for next.
    via Interesting_Hawk8033
  • Healthy-Panda-7936 NTA. I've always thought destination weddings like this are fairly entitled in general because family has to take off work multiple days and travel and all the
    via Healthy-Panda-7936
  • expenses that go into it. Then add having to pay for the place too? No way. That's insane. It's not a vacation for anyone but her lol. It's an obligation. And an expensive one at that.
    via Healthy-Panda-7936
  • SweetBekki I don't understand why a lot of people always insists on having a wedding and extras. they can't afford then expect people to chip in when it's not the guest's responsibility.
    via SweetBekki
  • krissycole87 Just let her know you cant afford it. End of story. She cant make you materialize money that you dont have.
    via krissycole87
  • If she wants some extravagant bridal shower, she can pay for the house.
    via krissycole87
  • Edit: I didn't expect this to blow up like it has. Please no more comments- there has been a resolution. Thanks everyone for the advice and for proving I'm NTA here! We had an
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • extensive conversation with my sister (bride) to let her know what are and aren't willing to pay for when it comes to her wedding (travel, food while there, wedding attire, lodging, showers, bachelorette, etc). She's
    via Helpful_Yesterday315
  • decided to hold up her ORIGINAL end of the deal and pay for the beach house like she said she would 3 weeks ago. She now knows everyone's financial limitations for her wedding and realizes. we're not cash cows.
    via Helpful_Yesterday315

Tags

family drama bride groom destination wedding sibling rivalry siblings wedding sister parents entitled people
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