Boyfriend lets girlfriend live in his parents apartment by herself rent free, gives her an allowance that is 56% of his monthly paycheck: 'She has no money saved, she has nothing but debt'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 2, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

I've never understood the phenomenon of "stay-at-home girlfriends." It's one thing to be a stay-at-home mom who has a lot to do all day long for child rearing, but if you have no job and no kids, what are you doing all day? One might argue that cleaning and taking care of the household are reasons to stay home. Some might even say that if the couple can afford it, there's nothing wrong with a boyfriend providing for his unemployed girlfriend, but I'm suspicious of both of those claims. Unless you're living in a Daddy Warbucks-esque estate, cleaning a house or an apartment is not a full-time job. It can be done after work, before work, on the weekends, and so on. Paying the bills takes about 5 minutes, which doesn't merit staying at home to accomplish. What are the modern-day "ladies who lunch" doing all day? Choosing a hat, I suppose.

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  • 01

    My gf broke up with me today, WIBTAH if I immediately stopped sending her money?

    Three year relationship. And for the last two years or so, I have been paying her 56% of my salary for her to do groceries, cook, clean the house, do the laundry, and wash the dishes.
    via u/ronrori

  • The stay-at-home girlfriend in this story is barely even a girlfriend. She only sees her boyfriend (who is providing her with free housing and a salary) five days a month. She decided to break up with him, and he's still waffling back and forth on whether he should keep giving her money.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10512590336
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10512597760
    via Catt Liu

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    She got a job about two weeks ago and told me she didn't want to do all the housework anymore. I said it was fine but that I wouldn't pay her a salary any more. I said I wouldn't make her
    via u/ronrori
  • 05
    pay any bills but that I just wouldn't pay her anymore money since she was no longer "working" for me. She said it was ok and I even agreed to pay her for two months more nonetheless.
    via u/ronrori
  • 06
    SKLEVES OFFLINE CALLY OFAMERICA 2ULLD AL 32730338 D UNITED STAT OFAMER LY 10 AU327 ONE BUN
    via Jp Valery

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    As a side note, I've been living 4 hours away from our apartment for the last three months and will continue to do so for the next three months. During this time, we've been seeing each other, on average, 5 days a month.
    via u/ronrori
  • 08
    So this weekend I drove home and just a few hours ago, before driving back to my current residence, she broke up with me. I agreed to let her stay at my apartment (it is my parent's property, we pay no rent) for the next three months while she looks where to live.
    via u/ronrori
  • 09
    But now that I think of it, we didn't discuss the matter of the salary I've been paying her. I could really use the money I've been paying her, but I wonder if it would be too douchey of me to flat out stop paying her and not wait for her to move out beforehand.
    via u/ronrori
  • 10
    ** Edit ** Thank you all for your insights. As of now I have let her know I will not be sending her anymore money but I haven't changed the time period she is allowed to stay rent free.
    via u/ronrori
  • 11
    I see now most of you think I am crazy and a simp but honestly, I kind of see her as a dependent of mine even if she has broken up with me. And I am genuinely worried that she might not be able to make it on her own since she has never been independent and as it feels she has taken a rash decision guided by feelings instead of being well thought out.
    via u/ronrori
  • 12
    Believe me, she has no money saved, she has nothing but debt, and I sincerely hope she is able to pull it through. I have absolutely no intentions of having her back, or of changing her mind in anyway. I just kind of see her as a parent whose child is trying to be independent without the right toolset. Anyway, I'll keep you posted, an thank you all.
    via u/ronrori
  • 13
    TTlsurvivors You are letting her stay in your parent's property for free and paying her to do so? This post is absurd. NTA
    via u/TTlsurvivors
  • 14
    BigMax "You're ONLY going to let me stay unemployed and pay my rent? I deserve a SALARY to be your girlfriend too!!!" You can see how much she was using him, by the fact that she could have gotten a job anytime, but was happy to mooch off of him. But she knew ahead of time she was going to dump him, so she went out and got a job ahead of time.
    via u/BigMax
  • 15
    I do feel terrible for OP. Imagine giving a free place to live, and a salary for doing almost nothing (and doing the cooking/cleaning of an apartment for a couple without kids is pretty close to nothing), and STILL that's not enough for her to stay with him. I'm almost certain she found some other guy already, which triggered her giving up on her free ride.
    via u/BigMax
  • 16
    AngryBuckeye97 I will happily move into OP's parents' apartment, rent free, where I will get paid to cook my own food and do my own laundry, and I'll do it for only 49% of OP's monthly salary.
    via u/AngryBuckeye97
  • 17
    GetOutOfTheHouseNOW This sounds dangerous as f . Who knows what kind of tenants' rights she has accumulated by being supported by you. Jesus. Whatever arrangement you had as a couple is up to you, but now you've de-spined yourself into the simp premier league, which means YTA to yourself.
    via u/GetOutOfTheHouseNOW
  • 18
    Shrimps_Prawnson NTA. You broke up. You aren't married there is no ex girlfriend alimony.
    via u/Shrimps_Prawnson
  • 19
    Curious-One4595 Letting her stay there three months rent free is generous enough. NTA. You don't need to buy her groceries, or pay her to wash her laundry, cook her food, wash the dishes she is using, and clean the apartment she is living in. Dude. Come on. Self respect.
    via u/Curious-One4595
  • 20
    Big_Brilliant_5904 And even so. 56% of his income? that feels ludicrous to me.
    via u/Big_Brilliant_5904
  • 21
    Lana TeaseMe bro she broke up with you and you're still wondering if you're the bad guy for not continuing her direct deposit?? nah man, your wallet just got custody of its freedom. let it enjoy that.
    via u/LanaTeaseMe
  • 22
    Plastic_Fan_1938 Men are so broken.
    via u/Plastic_Fan_1938
  • 23
    Willowshep Dude what are you doing?! Pay her money, free housing, see 5 days a month. You're basically a sugar daddy.
    via u/Willowshep
  • 24
    Triple-OG- and i bet there's very little sugar involved.
    via u/Triple-OG-
  • 25
    schumachiavelli ...she has no money saved, she has nothing but debt... This chick doesn't pay rent, doesn't pay bills, might not be paying for groceries, is drawing a paycheck from OP, and yet she doesn't have two nickels to rub together? What has she been doing with the money he's been paying her for 24 months?
    via u/schumachiavelli

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Tags

boyfriend toxic relationships salary relationship house rent free money problems relationships girlfriend breakup money toxic relationship breakups apartment
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