SAHM kicks out her kids at 18 because 'adults shouldn’t live with parents,' after decades of freeloading expects them to take her in with open arms, 34-year-old daughter refuses: ‘I worked and rented a room… You can too’

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  • "AITA for refusing to support my mom after she refused to work for decades?"

    I'm 34F, and my mom (59F) hasn't held a job in 30 years. When my brother and I were kids, she was a stay-at-home parent while Dad worked. Even after we grew up, she refused to work, which
  • caused constant fights between my parents. Post-divorce, she immediately remarried an older man and relied entirely on him- until he did last year, leaving nearly everything to his own kids and pennies to her.
  • She then moved in with my brother and his wife, agreeing to babysit their kids full-time. Instead, she barely helped (watching them maybe twice a week for half-days), neglected
  • basic care (like leaving a soiled diaper on my niece, causing a severe rash), and bossed my SIL around like a tyrant. Predictably, they're kicking her out. I warned her this would happen.
  • Now she wants to crash with me, promising to "help" with my 2- year-old. I said no. I reminded her she's the reason my brother's marriage is strained and that she once preached, "Adults shouldn't live with parents"—a rule she
  • enforced by kicking us both out at 18. When she cried about having "nowhere to go," I shot back, "Neither did I when you dumped me on a friend's couch. I worked and rented a room. You can too."
  • She begged for rent money, but I refused: "You're healthy and able to work. No freeloading." Cue a screaming match. Relatives are now harassing me,
  • calling me heartless. Even her late husband's son guilt-tripped me: "She's your responsibility." But I don't feel guilty. Mom never prioritized us-unless she needed something. If she'd been kind, I'd welcome her. But after a lifetime of hypocrisy? Nope. AITA?
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  • bahahaha2001 lol entitlement is so wild. It's always a one way street. Do not feel guilty! She wants to be kept b it needs to find someone that will keep her. It's unrealistic if she's unwilling to do any work.
  • Interesting Dog1970 NTA. In your sweetest, calmest voice simply say, "Since you feel sooo strongly about something that is Absolutely none of your business, you're welcome to take her in. With my blessing! If not, mind the business that pays YOU."
  • Your mom laid the groundwork for her current situation. She figured it out before, she can do it AGAIN.
  • jezzz23 To nosy relatives: "Your concern is noted! I'll inform Mom you're hosting her. Sort it out with her privately." NTA.
  • Big_It ΝΤΑ She kicked you out at 18. Much harder to get setup when you have no experience, may very well still be in HS and sent you to fend for yourself. In addition
  • she's been a freeloader her entire life. If you let her move in she won't work/help and you'll have to kick her out. She chose to embrace retirement in her early 20s
  • (once the kids are in school SAHM/D should go back to work at least PT). Now her retirement plan has run out of steam and she needs to work until she dies just like everyone else
  • tigerofjiangdong1337 NTA Give all those relatives info to her saying they want to help. Then block them all. She will absolutely ruin your peace, your marriage, your life. Do not let her.
  • Notyohunbabe NTA. For so many reasons. You're showing her the same regard she had for you when you were growing up and becoming an adult.
  • Selfpsycho Respond to the relative's with ' oh cool she can come live with you? I will let her know' they are just trying to prevent that by forcing her on you anyway. NTA, she f'd around and is finding out.
  • Aggressive _Cup8452 NtA. Sounds like she made her bed. Ignore everybody trying to guilt you because they are just afraid that she's going to try to stay with them next.
  • Lustralis NTA. Your mother doesn't get to dodge accountability anymore. You survived alone at 18; her turn to learn. Fire back at relatives: "Why didn't you speak up when she threw me out?"
  • northakbud Just let the comments and guilt tripping roll off your back like water. Smile at them. Ignore them. Do whatever you want but don't waste your energy internalizing them.

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