'She stole a relationship with my dad from me': 28-year-old son stops financially supporting mother after it is revealed that she never told his father that she was pregnant, and instead told her son that he left

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 5, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

If you grew up with a single parent, there's probably a part of you that wonders what your childhood might have been like if you had both parents in the picture. Would you have been better off? Or would that have made your life so much worse? I'm sure the answer varies from person to person, but one thing is clear: You want the whole truth given to you without begging for it. Where did Dad go? Is he still alive? Was he a bad person? Knowing these things allows you to find some clarity in between the unstill waters of growing up. If you thought you had all the answers and your lifejacket is suddenly ripped from your shoulders, you just might drown from the shock of the riptide.

In this next story, a man finds out that his father, whom he thought had left when he was a baby, never knew his mother was pregnant. His mother, who raised him as a single mom, never mentioned anything more. Now, the man's father found him on Facebook and is trying to make things right. Without knowing the whole story, the man decides to stop financially supporting his mother because of the lies. Scroll to read the entire story below.

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  • Some commenters made good points. Does the man know why his mother decided not to tell his father about the pregnancy? Was he a good man? Was she in danger? Though these are all questions that are valid, one thing remains true: Withholding the truth about your kid's parent is not protecting them. It is hurting them in the long run.

  • Cheezburger Image 10513894144
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITAH for not financially helping my mum after finding out a secret she kept from me for over 20 years?"

    I (28M) just learned something that completely reversed my relationship with my mum (54F). I always thought we were close.
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • She was a single parent who raised me on her own after my "dad" left us when I was just a baby. She told me he had nothing
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • to do with us. We were not rich when I was a kid, and I've always had a lot of respect for what she did for us. I took money to pay for
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • uni, worked part-time, and now that I have a decent job and some savings, I've been helping her every now and then with groceries, bills etc.
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • Cheezburger Image 10513897984
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Anyways... a few weeks ago, I got a message on (my very active) Facebook from a man who I didn't know. First I thought it was a joke or scam or something
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • when it read "I think I could be your dad". But he sent me photos of him and my mum when they were younger. My resemblance to him was close too.
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • I confronted my mum, to which she started to cry and admitted that, yes, he was actually my father. She never told him she was pregnant, so he left. He had
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • no idea that I existed at all until recently when we probably saw my baby pics on FB or our old mutual friend's statuses put together. Idk if/when to meet him
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • though. He seems nice, stable and I assume married with kids. Our text messages were quite long and detailed, and personal
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • hence excluded them from this post. He says how he would've been there, would've raised me. I get emotional thinking about it in my head,
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • but this is where the conflict starts my mum just got fired prior to my dad messaging me. She asked if I could help pay her rent for a few months, and I said no.
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • I told her I needed space, I mean it's a lot to take in when your own mother had just been lying to you for your entire life and kept me from a father who loved me.
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • Obviously, no mother is perfect, but I felt cheated. Ok, she was young and maybe in over her head, but she stole a relationship with my dad from me. How can she expect my help like nothing has happened?
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • I'm not cutting her off forever though!! Just don't think I owe her money now, especially not when I still need to try and make sense of it all.
    via Delicious_Arm8222
  • Moon-berry-Splash16 Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. Take the time you need.
    via Moon-berry-Splash16
  • Sparklingw e23 NTA, you definitely deserve time and space to process all of this. Aside from denying you a right to have a dad in your childhood and life, her secret also kept medical history from you that could have had a huge impact on your life. She also deprived your dad of knowing he had a child for nearly 3 decades!
    via Sparklingw**e23
  • Rare-Field261 NTA, she lied to you for your entire life. that's not some small mistake. you're allowed to be hurt - take your time.
    via Rare-Field261
  • Skipper_2024 This is a though one. There are a lot of comments saying "you don't know how was their relationship" and that's true, but it's also the point. I mean, OP doesn't know because she chose to not tell him anything.
    via Skipper_2024
  • And while he could have been not a great partner, we'll never know what kind of father he could have been for OP. Again, because of her mother's choice.
    via Skipper_2024
  • I'm not saying you need to cut her off your life, I would help her financially regardless. But you need to heal from the betrayal, maybe being emotionally distant from her can help.
    via Skipper_2024

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family dynamics family drama baby entitled parents entitlement reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Father Parenting FAILS
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