29-year-old moves in with 34-year-old brother "temporarily," overstays welcome by months without contributing to rent or bills: 'Well, it’s now June. He’s still here.'

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jun 9, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Being the older sibling sometimes means being the caretaker, but there is always a line. This 29-year-old "free-spirited" brother crossed it.

Of course, when there is any sort of crisis, family should be there to support one another, whether it's checking in every day or, in this case, providing that family member with a place to stay. This author's younger brother needed to crash at his place "temporarily," but as these things happen, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Pretty soon, the 29-year-old was living at his brother's place without providing any rent money and very little in terms of shared expenses like groceries or electricity. 

Like most family conflicts, tension escalated and subsequently erupted in a way that perhaps wasn't the most mature. However, it sounds like it was inevitable and necessary. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from several members of this online community.

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    Cheezburger Image 10514510848
    via Unsplash+ (Sandra Seitamaa)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The most frustrating part of this author's story is that his parents sided with the 29-year-old. If they cared so much about his well-being, why couldn't they take care of him at their own place? Besides, it's not like the author is made of money, which he does point out himself. Compassion is necessary when family members are going through a rough patch, but you don't want to enable problematic behavior either!

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    "AITAH for making my brother pay to stay at my house after his 'temporary' visit turned into months?"

    So, my (34M) younger brother (29M) came to stay with me in January after he lost his job. He said he just needed a few weeks
    via VapidAbsence
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    to get back on his feet. I was happy to help we're family, and he's always been a bit of a free spirit.
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    Well, it's now June. He's still here. He hasn't paid rent or bills. He contributes somewhat to groceries, but I usually end up covering more than 75% of everything. He doesn't clean,
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    doesn't cook, and while he's doing freelance gigs online, it's not consistent income. Last week, I sat him down and told him that starting July, I'm going to charge im $600/month
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    which is still way cheaper than anything around here and that he also needs to contribute to bills. He got really offended. He said I'm "prioritizing money over family" and that he thought I was "helping him out, not profiting off
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    his misfortune." Our parents (who live in another state) agree with him and are saying I'm being greedy and ungrateful.
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    For context, I work full time, have a mortgage, and am saving for a house renovation. I'm not swimming in cash. I feel like I've been more than patient. But now I'm second-guessing myself.
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    AITAH for asking him to start paying after months of living rent-free?
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    Cheezburger Image 10514511104
    via Sander Sammy

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    ParticularBrush8162 3h ago . NTA, if your parents are so concerned he can go live. with them. But if he's going to be living with you for longer than agreed, he needs to start contributing.
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    Eastern_Condition... • 3h ago NTA. "Brother, I am in no way "profiting" off your misfortune. I am simply asking you to cover what it costs to house and feed you. There's no "profit" here."
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    cuzguys 3h ago . If family helps family It's time for him to help you financially or send him back to your parents so they can finish raising him.
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    Vapid Absence OP. 3h ago I did give him a heads-up in April that I couldn't keep supporting him indefinitely. He said he was almost there with steady freelance work.
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    Rage-Parrot • 3h ago NTA tiem to evict and let your parent deal with the lil mooch.
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    OkCopy8361 · 3h ago NTA. Since you are said to be greedy and ungrateful, thank your parents for their generosity in offering bro to move back in with them.
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    Ratchet_gurl24 • 2h ago Where does he think the money comes from to pay the bills? Bills that have grown since he moved in.
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    He's not making any effort to move out, because he'd have to pay those bills himself, rather than expecting you to pay them.
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    "Family helps family, and doesn't profit from each other. Right". But he is profiting from you. You're paying his expenses (rent/utilities/food). You're
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    essentially working for one wage, but paying for two adults. You're not his parent, or his caretaker, and certainly not his personal ATM. If he thinks he's being victimised,
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    then he can go live somewhere else, then he'll see how the real world works. Nobody will allow him to freeload off them. Maybe your parents could take him in, or pay his bills for him, if they believe he's being wronged.
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    Nice to know your parents don't consider their precious son to be greedy, freeloading of his brother. That he's the ungrateful one.
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    If you don't kick him out, draw up a legal contract that he must sign, stating his monthly payments and what's expected of him. List
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    the rules he needs to abide by, otherwise he's out. You need to protect yourself here, not your mooching brother.
    via VapidAbsence

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family drama aita AITAH family feud entitled people karma entitled family brothers entitled people
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