32-year-old older brother refuses to engage with 26-year-old sister’s pettiness over stealing their grandma’s name for her baby, despite him calling “dibs” years ago, the family takes his side

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 10, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Let's talk about names a bit. There's a lot in someone's name. It's not only a nomenclature attached to a face and body, there's symbolism in names, there's a deeper meaning and even sometimes a long history involved. In some families, first names can go back generations, where everyone from great great great grandparents coming to Ellis Island was a Bobby, to the baby who was born a year ago. Or maybe the name has an origin in its native language that means something, and said person has carried this meaning with them, almost like a suit of armor against evils of the world. Even if we legally change it, there are still people who will always remember us by that name. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a man who was close with his grandmother growing up. When she passed away, the whole family knew he would use her name to name his first child. That is until his sister swoops in. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to engage with my sister's pettiness where she's trying to use a baby name she and the rest of our family agreed to save for me to use?

    "The name should be saved for the only grandchild who remembered her"
    via Science Photo Library / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My younger sister (26f) has 3 boys and she's expecting her first girl. I (32m) don't have kids yet but my wife and I just started trying. Our maternal grandmother
    via u/New-Penalty-2437

  • When you get to know someone intimately, their name causes even more of a reaction. You might get chills upon hearing it, or maybe you hear a children's choir singing "Hallelujah." A name is meaningful, and the biggest aspect is that it's with us forever. 

  • 03
    ded when I was 5 and before the rest of my siblings were born. She lived with my parents and me and I adored her. I was the only grandchild who remembers her. So several years ago my siblings
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  • 04
    and cousins agreed that the name should be saved for me, to use if I had a daughter. They told me about it and they told the rest of our family. My sister was supposedly in agreement at the time.
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  • 05
    But after becoming a mom the first time my sister turned into an immature and petty brat. She turns the weirdest stuff into a competition. Like who can have
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  • 06
    the most kids. Or who gets the most stuff for their baby. Or who can get the most compliments on their cooking. She'd brag to me that she was the first of mom and dad's kids to make them
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  • 07
    grandparents and she'd ask me if I was going to be a grandpa before I had any kids. She'd whine at me and our other siblings if we met up when she couldn't make it. She expected us
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  • 08
    to wait until she could come and even expected us to plan our birthdays around her. Then she wanted us to add her name to a
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  • 09
    gift for mom and dad without her contributing anything. Not the planning, the paying or the getting of the gift.
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  • 10
    It's exhausting and her lifelong friends and other family members have complained about it too.
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  • 11
    Now she's decided she's going to use our maternal grandma's name for her daughter. She told me in front of our parents, siblings, her partner and my wife.
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  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10514766336
    via SandraKavas from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    She was smirking and said that we clearly weren't having kids. (even though she knows we started trying) she doesn't feel like the name should be saved for
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  • 14
    me and she deserves it and her baby deserves it as the first granddaughter. The rest of our family protested the decision but I just told her she was entitled to
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  • 15
    name her child what she likes and I changed the subject. It drove her crazy and she told me I was trying to make her look bad by giving in just like that. My wife asked her how that would make
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  • 16
    her look bad and wouldn't fighting me over it be worse. The rest of our family said the name. should be saved for the only grandchild who remembered her
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  • 17
    www Olivia Chloe Lily Amelia Sophie Grace Emily Mid Jessica Ava Ruby Emma
    via Africa images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    and how it was agreed they would save it for me. The rest of my siblings were like you shouldn't let her get away with this pettiness. I feel that not engaging is better.
    via u/New-Penalty-2437
  • 19
    Does it upset me a little? Sure. Could I use the name anyway? Yeah, but my wife and I agree it would be better not to. We might not even have a daughter. And if we do we'll figure it out but we
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  • 20
    don't want my sister taking it out on our hypothetical future daughter. My wife said she might go for a different name because | don't fight her on it and maybe.
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  • 21
    It's possible. Grandma's name is VERY different to names she typically likes. Either way just let her use it if she wants is my stance.
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  • 22
    A stance my family thinks I'm crazy for and they've told me I'm letting her walk all over me. AITA?
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  • 23
    coygobbler ⚫ 9h ago NTA. Not engaging with pettiness is the best way to respond.
    via u/coygobbler

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