Insecure bride uninvites 28-year-old bridesmaid from wedding after she loses weight despite already being the "skinny friend" unless she puts the weight back on: "I now have a new motivation to keep the weight off"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jun 10, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

It's no secret that plenty of brides these days get absolutely lost in the sauce while planning their wedding. As someone who is going to get married pretty soon – I get it. Scrolling through Pinterest and seeing those beautifully-curated pictures can really make you fall in love with a certain aesthetic. Using these images as a source of inspiration is really not an issue, but when you start micromanaging everything and crossing people's boundaries because you need everything to be picture-perfect will only get you a shorter guest list. If that's what you wanted, good for you. Just be prepared to lose some friends along the way.

In our story today, a young woman finds herself in an uncomfortable predicament. She went on a weight loss journey, and she's really proud of herself. Her soon-to-be-wed bestie, however, finds her success to be an afront to her ego. She believes that our protagonist is attempting to steal the spotlight by taking care of her body. Scroll down for more. 

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  • 01

    AITA for loosing weight for my friends wedding although I'm already the "skinny friend"?

    "I never cleared my weight loss with her"
    via seb_ra from Getty Images Pro

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (F28) recently lost a fair bit of weight and now my friend (F30) is saying I'm trying to upstage her at her wedding. My best friend "Emily" got engaged at the end of last year and asked me to be a bridesmaid, I was super happy and of course said yes.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 03
    In the past 3 years I have put on some weight, about two dress sizes, it didn't really bother me until recently so I decided to use the wedding as an excuse to loose some weight. I just find it easier to do if I have a goal and end date.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 04
    8 2 2
    via towfiqu barbhuiya

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    This past weekend we were bridesmaid dress shopping and Emily was acting kind of weird towards me, giving me funny looks and talking over
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 06
    me. The two other bridesmaids (one I'm friends with the other I don't know very well) didn't seem to notice so I brushed it off thinking she was just stressed.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10515004672
    via C.Mae Design from Getty Images Signature

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    Me and Emily live really close to each other so usually after something like this we would hang out for the day at one of our houses. At the end of the
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 09
    appointment I asked her who's house she wanted to go to and she scoffed and told me she was going home. I asked what was wrong and this is when she went off on me.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 10
    I don't remember word for word what she said because I was so confused and shocked. But these are the bits I remember- she basically said it was clear I was trying to loose weight to upstage her for
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 11
    her wedding, that I was already "the skinny friend" and now I'm just trying to make it all about me especially as I never cleared my weigh loss with her. She said I clearly knew what I was doing was wrong
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 12
    because I was still wearing oversized clothes to disguise my weight loss - I just haven't updated my wardrobe and prefer to be comfortable over wearing tight fitting stuff.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 13
    I don't consider myself skinny but I am the smallest out of the four of us, I also didn't think about how changing my appearance would affect her vision for her wedding. I've never been a bridesmaid before so I don't know if that was something I should have considered?
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 14
    So I don't think I'm the AH for loosing the weight - unless I am? But AITH for not telling her I was going to loose weight?
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 15
    UPDATE: First off thanks for all the support as well as all the spelling lessons they have cheered me up a lot. Not sure if anyone wanted an update but you're getting one anyway. I called my my friend as I'm currently away for work so couldn't meet face to face.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 16
    Spoiler, it did not go well. I started by telling her it was not my intent to make her feel any kind of way and tried to explain I had already been on my weight loss journey before she got engaged. I asked her if she really thought that I would be vindictive enough to try and upstage her
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 17
    at her wedding. Apparently this was the wrong thing to say. She started ranting about how I think I'm better than her, how whenever we go out together no one ever looks at her only at me. (I don't think this is true as she is very pretty and I'm pretty average looking).
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 18
    Here's where it gets bonkers bananas. She told me that her ex boyfriend (who recently got married) is going to be at the wedding and for a while he was thinking of leaving his (at the time) fiancé to ask me
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 19
    out but my friend convinced him not to. I had no idea any of this went on and would have been appalled because 1. That's just weird and 2. He's my best friend's ex and I'm now pretty sure she's still in love with him.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 20
    I have been uninvited from the wedding "unless I put the weight back on, then I can come but not as a bridesmaid" Safe to say I now have a new motivation to keep the weight off and shall not be attending any weddings in the near future.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065
  • 21
    She's always had a temper and has flipped out at me over random stuff before but nothing ever this insane. I guess I'm going to have to get better at identifying red flags.
    via u/Optimal-Weekend5065

  • Honestly, it's for the best that our protagonist was uninvited from this wedding. That is not a real friend!

  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10515005184
    via Alexandr Baitelman from Getty Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    Frosty-Wood "Cleared your weight loss with her"? Is she kidding? That is the stupidest and most controlling thing ever. Some people. SMH. NTA.
    via u/Frosty-Wood
  • 24
    vegasbywayofLA Right?! I understand being envious of someone's weight loss when you are unhappy with your own body, but to get mad and say they are trying to upstage you at your own wedding is delusional.
    via u/vegasbywayofLA
  • 25
    A true friend would be happy for you. It seems she was only friends with OP because she was heavier as well, which made her feel better about herself.
    via u/vegasbywayofLA
  • 26
    addytude The bride should have checked with OP before getting engaged during her weight loss journey.
    via u/addytude
  • 27
    Money-Possibility606 NTA. Jesus Christ. I can't anymore with these bride stories. My two bridesmaids were smaller than me - a lot smaller than me. But honestly, that thought never even crossed my mind at the time. They're my best friends!
    via u/Money-Possibility606
  • 28
    They would have been my bridesmaids no matter what-if they were supermodels, if they were 800 pounds, if they had pink hair, no legs, hairy armpits, full body tattoos, whatever. They weren't my
    via u/Money-Possibility606
  • 29
    bridesmaids because of how they looked, or worse, because of how they made ME look! They were my bridesmaids because they were my best friends and I loved them, and I wanted them to be there with me on my big day, no matter what.
    via u/Money-Possibility606
  • 30
    To the brides out there: If they're hotter than you, prettier than you, thinner than you... get over it! That's not what it's about, and if you think that's what it's about.... you probably shouldn't be getting
    via u/Money-Possibility606
  • 31
    married. Because you're not in the right mental place to be starting a whole new adult life with someone else. You have to love yourself first. Get your sh together, get your priorities straight. Don't. project your sh on the people who love you the most.
    via u/Money-Possibility606

  • I cannot imagine feeling entitled to someone's body like that. It's actually insane. 

  • 32
    Cat_got_ya_tongue NTA. Your weight is none of Emily's business. The only time it matters is after the dresses have been bought (and even then it's just about telling the bride and organising alterations).
    via u/Cat_got_ya_tongue
  • 33
    I am so sick of brides that think they get to control weight or hair colour of their bridesmaids. Prepare yourself OP, Emily is probably just getting started.
    via u/Cat_got_ya_tongue
  • 34
    NTA chapter_zero_99 You're not required to "clear" personal health decisions with anyone, wedding or not. Her reaction says way more about her insecurities than your actions.
    via u/chapter_zero_99
  • 35
    Impossible-Pen-1781 She wanted you to clear your weight loss with her first?!!!?! How dare she! Absolutely NTA and she is being completely unreasonable about this. (Also, well done on the weight loss - losing weight is tough. and takes a lot of effort!)
    via u/Impossible-Pen-1781

Tags

weight loss friendship bride marriage groom wedding drama bridesmaids friends relationships wedding health love red flag bridezilla dating entitled people
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