‘Why should they be entitled to anything?’: 38-year-old man is forced to purchase his grandfather's home while his siblings were given homes for free, so he refuses to give them their $30k inheritance to break even

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 11, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Most of us in this life have to work hard for what we have. Those who don't have to put in the time and effort to lead a comfortable life—lucky you. I am green with envy, and everyone else likely is, too, but that's another topic of conversation for another day.

When you're left a fortune, whether that be from a late family member or romantic loved one, it feels bittersweet. You mourn the presence of the life you had with your loved one, but you can't help but also acknowledge how generous they were to leave something behind for you, ensuring you will have an extra financial cushion when the going gets tough.

There are sticky situations at hand in the next story you're about to read. In the name of fairness, a man refuses to give his sisters their share of their inheritance after being given one home each, while he had to pay for the house that should've been given to him for free as well. Though we preach on this website that what's yours is yours, read the whole story. You might make an exception about that. Scroll below to continue reading.

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  • "Finally, I denied my sister 'their share.""
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for refusing to pay my sisters ‘their part’?"

    To give you a brief overview, it's about my sisters A(40), B(33) and myself (38), all 3 are married with 2 children. In 2015, our parents wisely divided up their
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  • property, as neither of them had a will and wanted to settle everything early on. In 2019, my father d d quite early after a short but serious illness.
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  • A and B were engaged in 2015, I was newly married. A got our parents' house, a classic German solid construction with 300 square meters of living space on two
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  • floors from the 80s, actually ready to move into, but A wanted to rebuild something and invested another 100k in it. Our mother still lives on the first floor. She also sponsored 70k for a new garden and a new facade.
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  • B got our grandmother's former house, an old building with foundation walls from 1600- something, but completely renovated 20 years ago and then rented out. A really nice place,
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  • certainly with quirks, but also character and after a coat of paint it was completely ready to move into (hardwood floors, solid doors from the carpenter, etc.).
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  • For 5 years, B and her husband complained that they didn't have a proper garden, but they didn't do anything and then they had their first child. Now B is moaning that they have to pay 70k for the landscaper - well, if you want a royal park and do nothing yourself...?
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  • I was given a plot of land with a small warehouse (my dad used to have a small company). Background: I had been living in Japan for a while already in 2015 and didn't know if I would ever
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  • come back to Germany. So it was okay for me that my sister got "more" than me. However, out of fairness, my father insisted that in future I should get a third of my grandfather's house (on my
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  • mother's side), which at the time already belonged to my mother and her two sisters. My mother and I also thought that was a good idea. Old building from the 60s, extension in 1990 and partially renovated.
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  • I moved back to Germany permanently in 2022, so I bought my grandfather's house for the market value (expert evaluated) of 270k, paid 180k to my aunts and received 90k as a gift from my mother. Then my mother surprised me,
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  • She said: "There's no hurry with your sisters' share, but when you're liquid again, you should do it soon." Me: "Huh? What share?" Her: "Well, 30k each, that's what they're entitled to."
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  • Me: "Mom, do you remember that A and B were each GIFTED a house that was ready to move into and I had to buy 2/3 of this one?" Her: "Yes, but he's their grandpa too, so they're entitled to it. You have so much money anyway."
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  • Last Will and Testament of County of mind, not acting under and extent of all my pr and declare this docu and all other wills and EXPENSES I direct that all my my soon after my der Personal Repres absolute discret I further direct estate and int included in th Said taxes s without recr included in PE I nomine reques appli LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I see. I have so much money anyway. That was her argument. And: "A had to finance their renovation, you could afford the cash now".
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  • A bit more background. A earned very well when she was still working full-time before the children, but also squandered her money. Finca in Spain three times a year, then Thailand or Bali over New Year's Eve, flying to London or New York for a concert, etc.
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  • She was single for a long time and just lived, I grant her, why not. Since she's had a family, she doesn't do that anymore and has a really solid financial plan, the debts from her renovation are already paid off. Her husband can't handle money at all and overstretches himself financially.
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  • In general, only his opinion counts, he is completely resistant to advice. An example: Since 200 hp in a family car is not enough, he had the car tuned against the advice of several car mechanic friends. Half a year later - engine totaled. Great. A then suggested
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  • a Skoda Octavia, but her husband doesn't want a "Czech car", it has to be an Audi, S-Line of course and diesel. He has a 5km commute to work, a petrol car would have been 30% cheaper but it had to be a diesel because he "has always driven diesel". I helped them out with an interest- free personal loan.
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  • B has never been good with money and her husband is not much better. As already mentioned, they have spent 70k on their garden, although B's husband would actually be a good craftsman. But after work is
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  • only free time for him, on Saturdays there's only the sports club. The gardener's offer was 50k, but many items were only quoted as "at cost". A and I kept telling B that it could be VERY expensive, but she wasn't
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  • interested.... Well, it was an extra 20k. If they have a few thousand euros on the side, they don't save it, but go to a luxury resort in the mountains where a night costs 1k or something similar.
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  • Now to me. I financed college completely by myself, then went on assembly jobs all over the world, often worked 300 hours a month and finally ended up in Japan. Yes, I earned a good living as an engineer and still do. But life in Osaka wasn't cheap either.
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  • My wife was in a managerial position before the children, in addition to Japanese she speaks fluent English, Chinese and now also German, even when she took a break because of the children, I had more net income than A or B, probably even more than both together.
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  • We have saved up in case we need/want to buy a property. "spontaneously". As a backup, we bought a small apartment in Kyoto, near my parents-in-law. In 10 years in Asia, we've only been on three real vacations. One city trip to Beijing, one to Okinawa
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  • and one to Sabah with the children. So we lived well, went out to eat, etc., but didn't squander our money. Having children, especially more than one, is really expensive in Japan. That and my work stress were the main reasons for going to Germany. Mind you, we bought the house "with Grandpa", a
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  • separate apartment on the ground floor and first floor, he was 85 at the time and suffering from severe dementia. In addition to learning German intensively, my wife also looked after my grandfather. She made breakfast, did the shopping, cleaned up the huge mess in the bathroom every
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  • other day, you name it. The rest of the (large) family did practically nothing, only an aunt and my mother were there briefly every few days. As I said, the house is an old building. Since my grandpa dd at the end of 2023, I've been renovating the ground floor
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  • myself step by step. Electricity, paint, flooring, sure, it all takes time and nerves, but when I see what an hour's work of a contractor costs, I'm happy to do it myself. My brothers-in-law could do it too, but they prefer to let other work for them. Sure, let them, but then my mom will tell me again that I have so much money compared to my them.
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  • Our garden was a jungle, so my wife and I did it all ourselves. My brother-in-law spent 1K on a raised vegetable bed. I invested 100 euros in wood and screws and built one myself. Also, when my father passed away, he practically got his car as a
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  • present, an older VW Passat, but low mileage and in top condition. After two years it had dents everywhere, a mirror was missing, and finally the engine was totaled. Well, if you rev into the red zone 2 seconds after starting the engine at sub-zero temperatures, that might not be ideal. My brother-in-law didn't care.
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  • My mother was in the finance business her whole life before she retired. I think she taught at least A and me how to handle money properly, but somehow it didn't work for B. My brothers-in- law do the rest.
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  • Yes, I'm not doing badly financially, but I've also earned that through hard work. I don't think my mother judges fairly. And am I somehow responsible because I work my a my family a good life? off to give
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  • Finally, I denied my sister "their share". I asked A about it directly and she was just as perplexed as I was by my mother's thoughts. A said that she and B had already got a house, why should they be entitled to anything? So there was no argument with my sisters, we still have a very good relationship. I also get on very
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  • well with my mother - as does my wife, which isn't always the norm with intercultural families. In the end, my mom gave A and B 25k each - because I refused. And yet she keeps bringing up the subject, so I'm still wondering, AITA?
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inheritance aita sibling rivalry siblings reddit story will parenting family property reddit thread Reddit money Parenting Fail parents entitled people
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