Aunt contributes $11k to 17-year-old niece's college fund, refuses to give more money when sister spends most of it on her prom: 'Can you spot me $2k just for now?'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 12, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

When a close relative has a kid, it is only natural for somebody to want that kid to have the best start in life. Some aunts and uncles play a large role in the life of their nieces and nephews, especially if they come from single-parent families, and often, it provides them with a lot of much-needed support that they wouldn't have otherwise. Many swear by the idea that it takes a village to raise a child, and other family members are often the most important people in that village.

However, it is also easy for parents to take advantage of the generosity that aunts and uncles may show towards them and their kids. Sometimes, this involves excessive demands on their time or attention, and other times, there is a financial angle. Either way, it can lead to hurt feelings, trust being broken, and a lot of general familial drama.

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to loan money to my sister for my niece's college fund after she spent most of it on prom?

    So I (37f) have a sister (40f) who's a single mom to my niece (17f). She's done most of it on her own since her daughter was born, and while we've had ups and downs, I've always tried to be supportive. My husband and I have a 14-year-old daughter ourselves, and we're not exactly rolling in it either, but we've been careful, planned ahead, and have tried to keep things stable. About five years ago, I started contributing money toward a college fund for my niece. Nothing huge, just here and there.
    via promcollegefund
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10516759296
    via Talahria Jensen

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One aunt and mom found herself in this position after her sister chose to use her money to splash out for her daughter's prom. The woman had been contributing to her niece's college fund for years on the agreement that this would be its only use, but after the big day, she realized it had nearly $7,000 missing from it.

    Her sister admitted to using the money, then claimed she was going to pay it back. However, she soon requested a $2k loan from the aunt, who refused. Multiple family members weren't happy about the generous relative putting her foot down, and she wanted to know if she was in the wrong.

  • 03
    Well, Prom was in late April. My niece looked absolutely beautiful. She had this pale blue fitted dress, her hair was done in this really pretty updo, makeup was on point, nails, shoes, they all looked great. She and her friends got a limo, went to a some Italian restaurant before the dance, and did a little photo shot thing. It wasn't celebrity-level extravagant, but it was definitely expensive. I remember seeing the photos and thinking, "wow, they all look amazing," followed immediately by, "h
    via promcollegefund
  • 04
    When I called her, she didn't even seem that surprised to hear from me. She was kind of cagey at first, then got defensive and said she only used some of the fund and that there's still enough for a couple semesters at community college if niece doesn't get a scholarship somewhere else. Like that makes it okay. I told her I was shocked she didn't ask me and she just went off about how it was her daughter's only prom, that she deserved something special, and how she's been through so much lately
    via promcollegefund
  • 05
    Then she hits me with: "I was gonna rebuild the fund over the summer anyway, but I'm short now, can you spot me like $2k just for now?" I told her no. I didn't yell or anything, just a clear no. And now it's a full-on meltdown. She said I'm holding money over her head, that I'm showing my true colors, that I don't really care about her or my niece, and now she's dragged our mom and other relatives into it. My mom texted me this whole long thing about family sticking together and how prom only ha
    via promcollegefund
  • 06
    And the worst part? My niece texted me too. She said she didn't know the money came from her college fund and she's sorry, and that she doesn't want me and her mom to fight. And now I feel like absolute garbage. But like what was I supposed to do? I've got my own daughter, and we've been saving bit by bit for her too. I can't just casually drop thousands of dollars to refill a fund someone else emptied without even telling me. My husband agrees with me and said if we want to help my niece with c
    via promcollegefund
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10516759552
    via Diane Helentjaris
  • 08

    Commenters were firmly on the side of the aunt, and they also had further suspicions.

    ritan7471 7k for PROM? Why do I believe that she took some and put it in her own pocket? Was her dress couture? Custom made with actual diamonds? Your sister has definitely been pilfering.
    via ritan7471
  • 09
    Amazing-Wave4704 YEP. thanks for pointing this out. It was more than prom.
    via Amazing-Wave4704
  • 10
    Ok_Top_7535 Save your money for your daughter.
    via Ok_Top_7535
  • 11
    Obse55ive My almost 16 year old daughter's HS has a lot of kids; so many kids there's actually 2 different campuses and each grade has about 2k students each. She hasn't been to prom yet but the last couple of years it's been held in a famous museum downtown and post prom is held on a "cruise' on the lake front. Between the two venues it costs a few hundred dollars for tickets. Even with expensive venues, hair/nails/makeup dress etc, I can't imagine prom costing more than maybe $1000. Your siste
    via Obse55ive
  • 12
    Amazing-Wave4704 Time for your sister to learn a valuable lesson about FAFO. Do not contribute ANYTHING to an account she has access to. Frankly I would withdraw any funds equal to what you have contributed. You can create a separate account over which you have sole control and you can make withdrawals payments directly to a higher learning facility. But sis doesn't get to TOUCH it EVER. Maybe give your niece the benefit of the doubt (not that I'm not skeptical...) but NO ONE gets to distribute
    via Amazing-Wave4704
  • 13
    Silent_Morning692 NTA at all. All the family members who think you should replenish the stolen money can chip in to STFU.
    via Silent_Morning692
  • 14
    tisthedamnseason1 I have never understood the trend of absolutely decimating your kid's college fund just for prom, NTA
    via tisthedamnseason1
  • 15
    molly_menace Your sister stole from your niece. Ask for an itemised list of everything that money was spent on. You can look up prices yourself. She only spent a portion on prom. The rest she stole.
    via molly_menace
  • 16
    Old_Compote7232 Assure your niece that you don't want to fight with her mom either. Tell her that you'll help her apply for scholarships and bursaries, but right now you can't affort to top up the account. If and when you can and want to contribute, wait and give the money directly to your niece once she is in college, or open a joint account only with your niece..
    via Old_Compote7232
  • 17
    NTA Throwawayhelp111521 Your sister needs to learn to be more prudent. Many kids don't spend lavishly on prom. Some don't have proms or they can't afford to go.
    via Throwawayhelp111521
  • 18
    Jerseygirl2468 NTA Yeah there's no way she spent $7000 on her daughter's prom unless it was like a $6000 designer dress. And if that's the case, she'd better get to selling it. You've been generous and contributed for your niece, and your sister should be incredibly grateful for that, instead of blowing it and demanding more. If you do anything more going forward, keep the money in your own account, and pay her school or whatever directly. Your sister has proven she can't be trusted. Tell your m
    via Jerseygirl2468
  • 19
    MrAppleby18 NTA keep firm on your decision. If you cave in what's next? She'll use it for a car because she never had one like her friends?
    via MrAppleby18
  • 20
    Silver_Sky00 That's horrible. I wouldn't give them any money after that.. And the mom might have told the niece to lie and pretend she didn't know where the money came from. 7 THOUSAND DOLLARS on a one night prom. What a waste of money and violation of your trust. That was so disrespectful and not okay. They can ask a college recruiter how to apply for loans and grants.
    via Silver_Sky00
  • 21
    Big_Noise6833 Your sister is a single mom to a child that is going to go to collage soon and she spent 7000 dollars on prom?!? That's absurd. If your mom thinks your sister is right//justified, just tell her to drop the money, she is family too after all
    via Big_Noise6833
  • 22
    Apprehensive-East847 You text your niece back and you tell her she looked gorgeous and you hope she had an amazing time because it's a once in a life time opportunity. You are glad she got the evening she wanted..... don't let her mom ruin your relationship with her. As for the sister, you tell her, you tried to give her daughter some kind of head start and she chose to give her daughter an expensive night with that money. That's on her, she's made her daughter's life harder than it has to be. T
    via Apprehensive-East847
  • 23
    Flashy_Bridge8458 Nta. The fact that your neice didn't even know she was using her own college money says everything about how greedy and self centered her mother is. Don't give your sister money. She's not your responsibility. If your family cares so much they can take care of your sisters money issues. You are not responsible for any person you did not give birth to. Your sister did that to your neice, not you.
    via Flashy_Bridge8458
  • 24
    NotSorry2019 Your sister is lying. Just sent my daughter to prom, and no way anyone spent $7k on prom. Your sister is a thief and a liar. Never give her money again. Lock that woman out of the account, and demand receipts. Make sure the entire extended family knows she's not to be trusted. I'm going to assume dr_s or gambling. Either way, she's actively working to destroy your niece's future. Growl!
    via NotSorry2019
  • 25
    bill-schick Total the amount your sister put in over the years and that what she was "allowed" to spend, the rest was yours and you earmarked it. Your sister knowingly stole it without you, her daughter or your mom knowing this. Prom is "entertainment" now education. Your sister needs to pull head out of her behind. Don't give a single penny more to any account your sister has access to. Quite frankly I would be done giving money to that fund and concentrate on my own family and child and fundin
    via bill-schick

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family drama niece family prom aita loan aunt sister reddit thread daughter Reddit mom money college
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