25-year-old feels guilty hiding girlfriend from dad because she's a single mom to her 4-year-old son: 'She says she feels like I'm ashamed of them'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 10, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

There are countless reasons why somebody may become a single parent, almost all of which are perfectly valid. Sometimes a partner passes, wasn't even in the picture to begin with, or a relationship just doesn't work out well enough to weather the ups and downs of raising a child. Raising kids is far from easy, so in many ways it is admirable to be willing to do it alone.

Of course, this doesn't stop some people from choosing to be judgmental about parents who have had to raise their children without a partner. There are individuals who simply refuse to get their head around kids being brought up in a household that doesn't have both a mom and a dad, even though it is not an uncommon phenomenon nowadays. With these types, the idea of a blended family isn't even worth thinking about. They don't want to entertain anything too different.

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    Cheezburger Image 10503669504
    via Hrant Khachatryan (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It was exactly these kinds of opinions that one man feared when it came to telling his father about his two-year relationship. His girlfriend had been a single mom to her 4-year-old son for most of his life because her partner had passed away. 

    Despite loving both his girlfriend and his son, he was afraid to tell his dad about them due to his judgmental attitude toward single parents and the fact that he had told him he would be disappointed in him if he ever dated a single mom. His reluctance to tell the truth was beginning to upset his girlfriend, and he wanted to know if he was in the wrong.

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    AITA for not introducing my girlfriend and her son to my dad after 2 years of dating?

    I (25M) have been dating my girlfriend (27F) for almost two years. She's amazing really caring, supportive, and fun to be around. She also has a 4 year old son, who I've grown to really love like a Son. His dad passed away before I met her, so she's been raising him on her own, and she does a great job. The problem is, I've never told my dad about them. My dad (54M) is very old-school and judgmental. When I was younger, he always talked badly about people who dated single parents. He once told m
    via Regular-Selection870
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    My girlfriend has been really understanding, but it's starting to bother her. She's never pushed too hard, but recently she told me it hurts that I haven't even told my dad about her or her son. She says she feels like I'm ashamed of them. I've tried to explain that I'm not, but I'm honestly scared of how my dad will react. Now she's told me she's not going to pressure me anymore, but the next time there's a family event, she plans to come with me and she wants to be introduced, like any normal
    via Regular-Selection870
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    Cheezburger Image 10503669760
    via Hrant Khachatryan (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters wasted no time telling him what they thought.

    thatcrochetaddict "I'm not ashamed of you, I'm ashamed of my dad." Is completely understandable. But the fact you said you "don't want to cause drama" and are afraid he'll cut you off does kind of sound like you care a bit more about his approval than he deserves. Unless you depend on him for financial support and/or housing, he should not have that much influence over you. Don't necessarily want to call you TA, but you're not completely blameless either.
    via thatcrochetaddict
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    Pitiful-Bug-8140 "you care a bit more about his approval than he deserves." Absolutely hit the nail.
    via Pitiful-Bug-8140
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    BabalonBimbo YTA. You're an adult. Start acting like it.
    via BabalonBimbo
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    Tealnternational9753 YES YTA.you said your dad's already judgemental and now if you say to him that you dated your girl for 2 years and didn't tell him he might flip out. You should have told him earlier and yes I find it weird your dad thinks dating single parents is bad.
    via Tealnternational9753
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    impostershop YTA - you're acting like a boy, not like a man and if I were your girlfriend it would give me the Ick That being said, I think I know the kind of old school person your dad is and I've met them 1000x over. The reason you're afraid to tell him is because he's rejected you time and time again and it hurts and you don't want to deal with it even one more time. Even if he's an unreasonable j he's still your dad and you want his love and that's normal to want your parents to love you. To
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    mazal33 YTA are you sure its not you who is ashamed of dating a single mother and you are not ready to accept it publicly? Sometimes its easy to talk about other peoples prejudices until you realize they are your own. 2 years thats a long time.. but if you are not sure, i think you should be truthful and let her know
    via mazal33
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    SportySue60 YTA! How can you expect her to believe you aren't ashamed of your relationship with her if you haven't told your Dad after 2 yrs?!?! I get originally wanting but come on!!! You are very lucky because I would have broken up with you after 1 yr because you are putting your parents thoughts and feelings above me and I deserve better. You know she does as well.
    via SportySue60
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    KLG999 YTA. You have explained the situation to your GF so she knows what might be coming. The fact that you are still afraid to tell daddy and he might get mad at you does mean you are ashamed of them. What's your long term plan? Are you just stringing this woman and little boy along? Keep them hidden forever? Waiting for daddy to di before taking the next step? Tell your father about her. Then introduce her to him (without the son). Then you will know if you have to choose. Don't keep stringin
    via KLG999
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    delinaX the only parent i have left Parents love their children and support them not judge them. You're holding on to a parent who wouldn't accept your choice when it comes to partners and instead of sticking by your partner and telling you dad to accept it, you're holding on to your judgemental father. Your girlfriend doesn't deserve to be with someone ashamed of her, and yes, you are ashamed of her. It's not that complicated. You either man up and stand up to your dad or leave the woman alone.
    via delinaX
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    Tensionheadache11 YTA - you are a grown man who is afraid of losing his daddy's approval.
    via Tensionheadache11
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    Interesting-Box3765 YTA you sound ashamed by the fact you are dating your GF. I get not mentioning things for several months when it is fresh and still developing but 2 years are just excessive. You are putting your fathers bigotry above your relationship which is a huge red flag
    via Interesting-Box3765
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    Buying_Bagels YTA. If I were here I'd 100% feel like your hiding me. After two years moving in together and marriage should be something to discuss, not meeting your family for the first time. Hows the rest of your lives gonna go if you can't bring them to holiday? Weddings? Will you marry her, or are you just stringing her along?
    via Buying_Bagels
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    bmw5986 ESH. Except GF and her son. Ur an adult, so ur old enuff to understand that not everyone is going to agree with u or ur choices. The question now is, if ur dad does cause drama, what are u going to do about it? U gonna stand up for ur GF or u gonna side with ur dad. There is no 3rd option here. Ir either in or ur out. U seem to care for too much about ur dads opinions and his approval. May wanna c someone about that.
    via bmw5986
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    Gr1ck YTA. Stop being a coward - you need to take pride in your gf and her son. You will likely find yourself single before too long if not.
    via Gr1ck
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    SomeCallMeMahm YTA. Grow a spine. Who cares what the rotten b rd thinks (of you or anyone else) He's full of trash opinions, probably some he hasn't said out loud about you. Do you care more about pleasing him than building your future? Doubling down on YTA because in all this time you are allowing a young child to bond and grow with you as a parental figure and it's going to devastate them when their mom finally wakes up and dumps you. Be better.
    via SomeCallMeMahm
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    esweat YTA. A big flaming one. And you know it. If for some unfathomable reason you don't, she deserves better.
    via esweat
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    Own_Log9691 YTA. Dude it's been two years. It's time to grow a pair & tell your dad. That is, if you're actually serious about having any sort of future or life or whatever with this girl. I mean how much longer do you plan to continue hiding her from your dad? It's kind of ridiculous tbh man.
    via Own_Log9691
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    LovaJuni YTA, but I get that it's hard for you. I'd ask your gf for support in this, like coming up with a plan together and go through some "what if's". It's important that you side with her and not your dad. She (and her son) is YOUR chosen partner and therefore siding with her is siding with YOU. Your dad no longer has a say. It's important to take on this type of conflict. You will have to go though it wether it's now or later. And she's fairly waited long enough. You could book a few sessio
    via LovaJuni
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    Thin-Bill4533 You're lucky she don't throw you out the door, depends on who you want to spend the rest of your life with your girlfriend and her son or your dad
    via Thin-Bill4533

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aita secret single parent relationships dad family reddit thread Reddit mom son
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