New stepmother demands 17-year-old babysit her children because his father said he would if they married: 'My relationship with his wife and her kids doesn't exist really, and I know that [makes her mad] but she was his choice, not mine'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Jun 14, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Parents make commitments on behalf of their children all the time.

But, at what point does this stop? There's a line there somewhere where the relationship needs to change, and the child is now an adult who makes their own decisions, but it's not really clear where that line is. The truth is it's more of a slow-changing process and succession of responsibility on the part of the parent as their kid learns to handle more responsibility and the parent learns to give it. The process is never going to be smooth, and there is going to be some conflict, to a lesser or greater degree.

Summer break is your chance for freedom in your teenage years, a freedom that slowly evaporates as you work more and more in your first jobs over the summer. And with the encroaching responsibility that is the rest of your life ensuing after the summer of your 18th birthday, your summer of your 17th year on this planet is really your last hurrah of care-free childhood. And the last thing you want to be doing is spending that babysitting your newly acquired step-siblings… if you can consider them that at all. This teen's dad and his dad's new wife were clearly counting on him spending his summer watching his dad's wife's children, and the pair were stunned when he chose to move out instead.

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  • 01

    "AITA for telling my stepmother I didn't agree to be her summer babysitter?"

    I (17m) live with my grandparents because when my stepmother and stepsiblings moved in with my dad last year, there weren't enough bedrooms for me to still have my own room and her kids are way younger than me so I didn't want to share with her boys.
    via StuffySlocks
  • 02
    7
    via Getty Images

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    My decision to move out didn't make them happy but I really don't care. My dad and I argued over them moving in and dad made it clear he wanted her there because he was ready to marry her and that I didn't get a say since I wasn't paying the mortgage or bills. He also said he'd been widowed for 6 years and it was time for him to be happy again for real. Dad and I fought. about my moving out but he gave in because I told him I would be miserable and did not care if that made everyone else miserab
    via StuffySlocks
  • 04
    My relationship with dad suffered as a result but I can live with that. This is better than sharing the room. My relationship with his wife and her kids doesn't exist really and I know that her off but she was his choice, not mine. She can think what she likes.
    via StuffySlocks
  • 05
    Now we have a whole other issue because she wanted me to babysit her kids over summer break so she didn't need to pay for camps or summer care. The kids don't have a dad in their lives so she's got to figure it out for the whole summer. When she told me to babysit this summer I said no. That was in April. She figured she could convince me but she didn't. Summer break came and she's had to pay for more than a week of childcare already.
    via StuffySlocks
  • 06
    My dad mostly stayed out of it but he told me he was upset that I wouldn't help some of the days. He said it would be a great time to bond with the kids and get to know them and for them to get to know me. He offered to buy me a few things as a form of payment but I refused it. He told me he was disappointed in my choices about blending our families and he felt like I was doing this because I can't let go of mom and don't want to embrace the new chapter of our family. I told him that's nothing t
    via StuffySlocks
  • 07
    My stepmother called me again and she was going crazy about my stubbornness and claiming it was part of the deal. I told her I never agreed to be her summer babysitter and I made no deals with her or her kids. It p ed her off more. And it brought out dad saying I was being r de for no good reason. AITA?
    via StuffySlocks
  • 08
    xodevo nta. stand your ground - not your kids, not your problem. & enjoy your summer :)
    via StuffySlocks
  • 09
    No-Complaints3601 NTA. They didn't take any steps to accommodate your needs for a room without little boys in it when you are 17 years old, they can't expect you to accommodate their need for a babysitter. IDK why they are asking for favors from you when all they have done is take.
    via StuffySlocks
  • 10
    dropshortreaver "claiming it was part of the deal" Sounds like Father Dear has been making promises that were'nt his to make. Sold her moving in and getting married as having you as an available baby sitter. Now he cant deliver on the promise, he's trying to guilt you. Tough sh for him. ΝΤΑ
    via StuffySlocks

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Babies family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita AITAH infant kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family pregnant reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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