26-year-old sister quits her job and moves in with brother, expects him to provide all her meals and host her rent-free indefinitely: 'She's a grown woman who is mooching off of your kindness'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 17, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

You always want to help out family when you can. Odds are they were there for you at some point in your life and so you wanna return the favor. You love them, and you know you can always rely on each other. This is especially true if one of you is hitting a rough patch in your life. Maybe you're unsatisfied with your romantic life, your job, or really anything under the sun. You want to know that you can always turn to your family for a soft place to land during those moments if you're lucky enough to have that. 

But even in those situations, you can't count on them for your whole happiness. A level of self-sufficiency is still needed in order to feel accomplished and happy. If your whole livelihood is relying on someone else-- that's a pretty precarious situation. You don't want to run out of goodwill, especially in your family. You know that they will help you as much as they can, but at a certain point, you probably need to help yourself.

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  • 01

    AITA for charging my sister rent after she quit her job and moved in?

    My (30F) younger sister "Chloe" (26F) recently moved in with me. The backstory is, she was working a decent-paying but, according to her, "soul-crushing" job in another city. She's been complaining about it for months, and I've always been supportive, telling her to explore other options, maybe save up, etc.
    via u/QuestionablePhysics
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10517949696
    via Bermix Studio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's the situation a pair of siblings found themselves in when one of them hit a rough patch. Or rather, she flung herself into a rough patch. And when her brother's patience was running thin, she turned on him and called him out for being selfish. Read on for the story to see what happened.

  • 03
    Well, about two weeks ago, she calls me out of the blue, crying, saying she just walked out of her job in the middle of a shift. No two weeks' notice, no savings, no new job lined up, nothing. She just... quit. She asked if she could come stay with me for "a little while" until she figured things out. I was pretty shocked but, because she's my sister and seemed genuinely distressed, I said yes, thinking it would be for a week or two, tops, while she got herself together.
    via u/QuestionablePhysics
  • 04
    It's been two weeks, and she's made zero effort to look for a new job. She sleeps until noon, spends her days watching TV and scrolling on her phone, and generally acts like she's on vacation. She expects me to cook all meals (which I usually do anyway for myself, but it's an extra mouth), and she hasn't contributed a dime to groceries or utilities.
    via u/QuestionablePhysics
  • 05
    Yesterday, I sat her down and told her that while I love her, this isn't a free hotel. I said that if she's going to be staying here, she needs to contribute. I proposed a very reasonable "rent" amount (less than half of what a room would cost here) that would cover some utilities and groceries, and also told her she needed to start actively looking for work, showing me applications, etc. I gave her a deadline for when the first payment would be due.
    via u/QuestionablePhysics
  • 06
    She absolutely blew up, calling me "heartless," "greedy," and saying I'm "kicking her when she's down." She said she thought I cared about her and that "family helps family." She's now barely speaking to me and making passive-aggressive comments.
    via u/QuestionablePhysics
  • 07
    A part of me feels guilty. She genuinely seems to be struggling emotionally. But another part of me feels like I'm being taken advantage of, and I can't afford to support her indefinitely. So, AITA for charging my sister rent and demanding she look for a job after she quit hers impulsively and moved in with me?
    via u/QuestionablePhysics
  • 08

    Commenters came in with their support.

    FreeGazaToday · 13h ago Inta...and yes 'family helps. family'....they don't just sit on a couch all day and surf.
    via u/FreeGazaToday
  • 09
    California Jade • 13h ago Your sister has to learn that this is how one "adults". Not to discount that she was having problems at her last job, bottom line, we all have to find some way to provide for ourselves. Her attacking you isn't helping her cause any, I think she needs to open up to someone about what happened that led to her quitting and start making decisions about her future.
    via u/CaliforniaJade
  • 10
    Π.ΠΠ
    via Rozonia Bam

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    cassowary32 • 13h ago NTA. You are going to have to stay firm and kick her out soon. You need to figure out the point at which she will need a formal eviction. Shameless is staying with someone and not pulling your weight, expecting them to support you endlessly. She isn't your child.
    via u/cassowary32
  • 12
    HunterGreenLeaves 13h ago A part of me feels guilty. She genuinely seems to be struggling emotionally. But another part of me feels like I'm being taken advantage of, and I can't afford to support her indefinitely. These are not mutually exclusive observations.
    via u/HunterGreenLeaves
  • 13
    kaltics 13h ago . NTA this is how family help family Some people conveniently seem to forget that helping doesnt mean being given everything you want for
    via u/kaltics
  • 14
    nothing, it can mean just as much having the hard conversations and reality checks, which this is what it looks like she needs now her crisis also shouldnt mean your financial burden either
    via u/kaltics
  • 15
    Ok_Cress8566 • 13h ago Call your parents - have them deal with her. She's not your responsibility
    via u/Ok_Cress8566
  • 16
    Anxious-Routine-5... 13h agail NTA. You are helping her. You just aren't willing to screw yourself over in the process. She needs to either get on board or get out.
    via u/Anxious-Routine-5526
  • 17
    Sad-Country-9873 13h ago How long can a guest stay in your apartment per your rental agreement?
    via u/Sad-Country-9873
  • 18
    bcbdrums 13h ago NTA at all. Her behavior is impacting your finances and your general wellbeing, and ultimately could hurt your lease agreement if you're not allowed to have free roommates. Which I highly doubt the landlord would
    via u/bcbdrums
  • 19
    allow. She's not a child, she's a grown woman. Who is mooching off of your kindness and the excuse of being family. Unless there is some physical reason otherwise, such as a dis lity, it's time for her to act her age.
    via u/bcbdrums
  • 20
    Sasquatchgoose • 13h ago NTA - hold your ground and don't let her guilt you. If the passive aggressive bulls gets to be too much then sit her down and tell her this isn't working out. Maybe she can move back in with mom and dad
    via u/Sasquatchgoose
  • 21
    NCKALA 13h ago • NTA. Oh yes, yet another "family helps family" guilt trip, sigh. it works both ways, "Family" does not freeload, refuse to work, cook, or clean. "Family" does not make themselves a burden on others. "Family" does not resort to name-calling and character-shaming when told 'no' or given choices on how to make a current situation work.
    via u/NCKALA
  • 22
    Where was sister living before this, that she could just quit her job and walk away (without closing down her own crib or settling with roommates or a partner)? Not sure about others but I would think most people are living some danged where before they quit work and just don't walk away. There are those
    via u/NCKALA
  • 23
    silly little inconveniences like settling utilities, rent, deposits, packing up a home renting a storage unit, etc. But she just walked away? Could be sister's story is not what truly happened? And also, could sister have been fired and not just quit like she said.
    via u/NCKALA
  • 24
    Is this is the same town/area? Is she staying home doing. nothing coz she is trying to lay low and avoid old friends (who may be looking for her to pay her rent)? Is she avoiding looking for a job coz she believes she won't be able to get positive job references? Or has she always just been this way? No wonder she can't find a place to crash from others.
    via u/NCKALA
  • 25
    If she is going to act this way toward you in YOUR own home, she needs to pack up her things and go elsewhere, not your problem. You didn't have a thing to do with your sister's current life.
    via u/NCKALA
  • 26
    IF your landlord allows this, and IF you have thought long and hard and decide that the two of you can coexist under one roof, and IF you develop a rent contract, signed and notarized, and IF you both work out a chore chart with a clause that any infractions. means immediate eviction...then maybe I'd say go for it, once she has a job and is paying her fair share.
    via u/NCKALA
  • 27
    Katiew84 13h ago . NTA. If she's not going to appreciate your help and act like an adult, she can move out and in with someone else that will allow her to mooch off them. But don't allow her to mooch off of you.
    via u/Katiew84
  • 28
    She didn't like her job? That S ks. But as an adult she should've saved up money, found a new job, and then quit the crappy job. You can't just up and quit and then live off your family for free. Adulthood doesn't work that way.
    via u/Katiew84
  • 29
    spid3rham90 - 13h ago NTA she is not down, she jumped into a hole-there is a difference. kicking someone while they're down implies life put them down and it was out of their control. Not someone shooting themselves in the foot of their own accord
    via u/spid3rham90
  • 30
    Buttben8 13h ago Definitely not the ah le, you're honestly probably helping her because the unmotivated dysthymia cycle. continues unless acted upon by an outside force.
    via u/Buttben8

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