‘My sister thinks my baby is hers as well’: Pregnant woman deals with an entitled sister who won’t stop calling their unborn child “our baby,” creating tension and frustration before the baby even arrives

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jun 18, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Most sisters arrange baby showers, but this one prefers delusion showers. While some families celebrate a new baby, others treat the announcement as a cue to start assigning themselves parental rights, just in case biology was not clear enough. In this epic display of sibling entitlement, an older sister has taken the idea of family involvement and supercharged it straight into full-blown co-parent delusion. What begins with a few innocent remarks swiftly transforms into persistent how's our baby check-ins, as if every eldest sibling is issued an honorary parenting certificate at birth. The soon-to-be parents are reminded daily that their baby is now a group project, open to feedback from anyone with the same last name.

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  • My sister thinks my baby is hers as well??

    "The last time she tried saying "our/my" baby I stopped her❞
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  • I'm expecting my first baby. I'm currently 28.5 weeks. When my husband and I found out, only our parents knew exclusively.
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  • Everyone else was to find out after the 1st trimester was over bc us being first time parents just wanted to be extra careful and we
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  • This particular sister, who has built her life on a foundation of relatives catering to her every whim, simply cannot fathom how parenthood is not a committee assignment. Any attempt to clarify that the baby has actual, assigned parents gets met with a cocktail of mockery and cultural shade, plus a generous helping of passive aggression that outlasts any family gathering. The baby’s last name, by her logic, should be a trophy for her personal family branch, and if the parents make other arrangements, well, the side remarks flow freely.

  • are also a reserved couple. My sister (who is older than me) was furious that I didn't tell her right away but she didn't tell me this
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  • herself nor showed it. I heard it from my mom. She believed that as the oldest she must know first too.
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  • It wasn't until we went out for a sister breakfast date with my other sisters that she kept saying "so and so think you're pregnant” or "it's been a year already that
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  • you got married ppl want to know if your pregnant yet" etc. know what she was doing and I just told her then and there yes I'm pregnant &
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  • Since then, she would keep asking "how's MY baby?" Or "how is OUR baby?" and she says it in front my husband too. It
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  • frustrates both of us bc we are pretty sure what she's thinking behind that. Both, my husband and I have told her already to
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  • stop saying that. It's weird and it's literally ONLY my husband's and I. Gosh I feel awful sounding like I'm fighting for ownership for MY child.
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  • Anyways, she said it again a few days ago and I played it off by saying "oh Jack? Hess fine". Jack is our doggy. She kept pushing I kept playing it off until she said
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  • "how's your alien then?". I really didn't like that. It sounded really awful. I simply told her I have no aliens at home.
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  • Now, as boundaries multiply like work group texts, the expectant parents have resorted to low-contact, steely politeness and a strict VIP-only birth plan. What used to pass for big sister support has officially entered the realm of Lifetime Movie antagonist, setting a new standard for family oversharing and the fine art of needing a boundary perimeter thicker than a privacy hedge.

  • A few weeks before that she asked in front of my little sisters and MY HUSBAND "how's our baby?" I said "OUR?? No, hes
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  • mine" she still had the audacity to argue about it saying "well the baby is going to be a x baby bc x is our last name". I told her
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  • "NOPE, as a matter of fact, he's only going to have his dads last name" (I'm also changing my last name to my husband's). She got mad and in a mocking tone she said "oh I'm sorry, since your
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  • husband is from a different nationality so are you guys huh. Oh ok I get it". Wtfff?? She took it to that? I just distracted myself with something else and my little sister that was there even had a wtf is going on expression.
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  • A little back story, my older sister does hold some sort of entitlement as she's used to ppl kissing her feet. Heck, even I did but realized it eventually. When I was single I helped raise her first child but even still I didn't call him "mine". That's just so weird and bitchy to me.
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  • Idk how else to tell her to stop calling my baby hers. I'm sure she also says it to frustrate my husband as she loves to throw indirects at him purely out of envy or fun.
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  • Edit/Update: Thank you all for your advice! Way before even getting pregnant I did start establishing boundaries once I realized how entitled/dominant she likes to be. The biggest one was moving far away from all family honestly (Unfortunately,
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  • the dominance comes from my dad's side of the family). It was worse before and it had gotten better after I started calling her out on things and seeing her less also has helped.
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  • FYI, My older sister and I were once super close but not to the point we'd call each other's children's ours. TO ME, it's weird. So it's not a lack of unity rather just for her sh s and giggles.
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  • The last time she tried saying "our/my" baby I stopped her and let it be known I really do not like it bc I believe she'd take it as joke. which she finally seems to understand that we do not like it since we just had a Father's Day bbq yesterday and she didn't say it. In fact, this even sounds ridiculous to say but she actually behaved.
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  • Whilst some of you have harsh opinions and/or advice, I don't have the strength rn to be harsh on her or anyone as I want to avoid any negative repercussions especially now being pregnant. I've started low contact with her pretty soon after I found out I was pregnant. It was only the few times I'd see her at family events
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  • or when she'd contact me that she would say that. If it's to worsen, I'm aware of what I have to do now. Hubby and I have already set up boundaries for our birth plan. I'm so thankful he has my back. I
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  • definitely wouldn't be able to do this without him. We're only having his parents and my parents with us when the baby is due and no one is to touch the baby until we feel ready. She's definitely not taking care of the baby nor will she be left alone with the baby.
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family drama inheritance brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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