27-year-old daughter refuses estranged mom's demand to walk her down the aisle, mom accuses her of seeking revenge: ‘It’s about who was there for me’

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10518871296
  • 02

    AITA for telling my mom she can't walk me down the aisle because she wasn’t really there for me growing up?

    I (27F) am getting married later this year. I was raised mostly by my dad and stepmom after my parents divorced when I was 6. My mom moved to another state
  • 03
    shortly after and I'd only see her during holidays, sometimes not even then. She missed birthdays, school plays, even my graduation.
  • 04
    It was never a hostile relationship, just... distant. She always said she loved me, but her actions didn't reflect that. My dad and stepmom were the ones who showed up,
  • 05
    helped with homework, took me to doctor's appointments, and basically raised me. So, when it came to planning the wedding, I asked my dad
  • 06
    to walk me down the aisle. My mom assumed she would be the one since I'm her only child and we've been talking more lately. When I told her I'd already asked my dad, she
  • 07
    got really upset and said I was punishing her for the past. I said it's not about revenge, it's about who was actually there for me.
  • 08
    Now some family members are saying I'm being cold and should let her walk with me too as a gesture of healing.
  • 09
    But I feel like that would just be for appearances, and not something I actually want. AITA?
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10518875904
  • 11
    SnuggleSkittz NTA. Weddings aren't about making other people feel better about their choices - they're about celebrating th people who supported you
  • 12
    and helped you become who you are. Your mom had years to show up. Your dad did. You're not punishing her; you're honoring the person who earned that spot.
  • 13
    Also, "it's not about revenge, it's a boundary" is such a powerful line. You're handling this with way more grace than most people would.
  • 14
    MimiDreamcatch4 OP Thank you your insight really helps
  • 15
    Comfortable-Bug1737 Why would your mum assume she would do that when it's normally a male role?
  • 16
    Euphoric-Phone8447 She's not being punished— you're just not rewriting history for the sake of her comfort. NTA.
  • 17
    Zanke95 Nta, the role to walk you down the aisle is for the one that has been there for you, not the one who abandoned you. It doesn't matter if your relationship is on the upswing
  • 18
    the hurt of the past doesn't disappear and your dad was there for you and the privilege to be the one to walk you down is the aisle deservedly his. Updateme
  • 19
    berto10101 NTA. 1. It's tradition for the father to do it. 2. She should not have asked, tacky! 3. It's your wedding!
  • 20
    dante0111 this is your day-you get to make the decisions. if you think it is appropriate, let her make a toast or something at the reception. but only if you want to. and only if you think she wont do something petty with it.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article