BBQ hosts surprise guests with yard work, bad mouth step daughter's ex-husband for ditching the party: '[They] are now calling me names on social media and stating that I’m scared of hard work'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 23, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

When you get invited to a party, odds are you expect to party. You've gotten up the gumption to take a shower, put on a nice outfit, and leave the house. And that takes a lot. So you'd like to be rewarded by a celebratory atmosphere. You want to know that your good efforts were worth something. You want to socialize, to laugh, to dance, to eat some finger foods, and to generally feel a little fancier than you normally do. You put on your good pants, after all. The last thing that you want to do is… manual labor. 

This is like when someone invites you to a "moving party" where it turns out it's not a party after all but rather a chance for you to help them put all their belongings into boxes. Sure, maybe they provided pizza, but movers get paid good money to do what you're doing as a favor. 

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  • 01

    AITA for leaving a "family" BBQ when asked to help in the garden?

    On Thursday, I was invited to a family BBQ at my ex-wife's step-father's house scheduled for today. I brought BBQ sausages, and prepared a home-made pasta salad and potato salad Being good weather I dressed in summery clothes and shoes, as did my GF who was also invited.
    via u/Large-Meat-Feast
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10520744704
    via Unsplash+ (Yunus Tuğ)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story where a summertime barbecue turned into a free labor opportunity. And when a few guests decided to leave, they were surprised to find out they were being trashed on social media. Read on to see if it was justified and decide what you would have done. 

  • 03
    When we got there, we were told that we each had to help first - clear the patio of dog mess (my dogs were at home) and then clear a space in the garden so that my ex-wife's step- father could put a greenhouse there next week.
    via u/Large-Meat-Feast
  • 04
    After stating that I wasn't dressed for yard work, and had just been expecting conversation and drinks/food on the patio, I declined to help. Instantly everyone made it clear to me that I wasn't wanted if I wasn't going to help, so myself and my GF left and found a nice country pub for dinner instead.
    via u/Large-Meat-Feast
  • 05
    I've got back home now and kids of the adults who were there are now calling me names on social media and stating that I'm scared of hard work.
    via u/Large-Meat-Feast
  • 06
    Did I do the right thing after being lured there under false pretences or should I have stayed and potentially ruined a good set of clothes just to appease them?
    via u/Large-Meat-Feast
  • 07
    Worried_Suit4820 20h ago • My sister and her then- boyfriend went to a housewarming party, dressed for a party, bottle of wine in hand. When they got there they were given a paintbrush and were assigned a wall to paint. They left too.
    via u/Worried_Suit4820
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10520744960
    via Unsplash+ (Yunus Tuğ)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    ElarenVale 20h ago • NTA, who invites someone to a BBQ and then springs yard work on them like it's a volunteer day? You showed up with food, not a shovel lol
    via u/ElarenVale
  • 10
    Unlikely-Ad5982 · 20h ago NTA. They are though. You don't invite someone to bbq and expect them to work like that. Maybe help to move a chair or two but that's it. I'd contact them and tell them to get the kids to take down the social media posts or you will tell the truth about their 'party'.
    via u/Unlikely-Ad5982
  • 11
    TravisBlink • 20h ago NTA. ? This is seriously weird behavior.
    via u/TravisBlink
  • 12
    CharmingCandidate3... • 20h ago I'm curious. Did you leave the food you prepared or did you take it with you?
    via u/CharmingCandidate308
  • 13
    Large-Meat-Feast OP • 19h ago I left it - I always make 1 for the party and 1 for home anyway. Taking it back would just be throwing it away.
    via u/Large-Meat-Feast
  • 14
    ConvivialKat • 19h ago I think the bigger question is, "Who in their right mind would accept a BBQ party invite from their EX-WIFE'S STEP-FATHER?" And bring your current GF. That entire dynamic would weird me out so much that I wouldn't have been there in the first place.
    via u/ConvivialKat
  • 15
    HighRiseCat · 19h ago Er not just garden work but CLEARING THE PATIO OF DOG MESS?! who tf invites people round to do that?
    via u/HighRiseCat
  • 16
    • Slightlysanemomof5 · 20h ago Not only were you invited to a meal, you were asked to contribute to the meal but then expected to do physical labor? No that's ride and entitled behavior. Other relatives are complaining because they fell for bait and switch meal for physical labor and didn't think to leave. Next invitation I'd ask if you need to work or just enjoy food. NTA
    via u/Slightlysanemomof5
  • 17
    hazydripz. 20h ago lol they invited you for a BBQ, not unpaid landscaping. You did the right thing by bouncing.
    via u/hazydripz
  • 18
    713nikki 20h ago I was confused about bringing your girlfriend to your ex- wife's family's bbq so I looked at your post history and now I'm even more confused.
    via u/713nikki
  • 19
    Either_Coconut ⚫ 19h ago If they'd actually TOLD you in advance, "Hey, we need some yard work done; everyone gets BBQ afterward", that would have been one thing. It would've been a valid exchange of time/effort for food.
    via u/Either_Coconut
  • 20
    But nobody told you that was the arrangement. You're NTA for deciding that wasn't the kind of day you were prepared to have. False pretenses, indeed. If you get any additional invites from these people, which might not be an issue going forward, now you know to ask questions before agreeing to attend.
    via u/Either_Coconut
  • 21
    Budget Jung6145 · 20h ago . YTA for leaving them the food
    via u/BudgetJung6145
  • 22
    22Ocean22 • 20h ago . You did the right thing. I hope you took your food home with you too.
    via u/22Ocean22
  • 23
    KitKatRoxy ⚫ 20h ago . NTA How embarrassing when you're too cheap and/or lazy to clean up after your own dogs and clear your own garden! Pity that fake man and be happy you escaped from a lunatic "family" They
    via u/KitKatRoxy
  • 24
    are all crazy, cheap and lazy! You were lured under a false pretense of a relaxing bbq!! | see why your ex is an ex hope you and your gf had a lovely day after escaping that cult mentality!!!!
    via u/KitKatRoxy
  • 25
    Carysta13 16h ago NTA but why are you and your new gf going to your ex wife's stepdads events? That sounds awkward af.
    via u/Carysta13

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barbecue aita AITAH FAIL money problems reddit story failboat family feud stepdaughter Party family sister reddit thread Reddit bbq money stepson
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