26-year-old woman gets offered major promotion that requires a move to different state, fiancé refuses to come with her, she reconsiders the relationship: ‘I don’t feel very supported’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 27, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Everyone has to make sacrifices for the sake of their relationship; that is not negotiable in any way, shape, or form. But just like any sacrifice in life, we usually get to choose whether we want to make it or not. It is a choice that we have to make and deal with its consequences, for good or for bad. When it comes to relationships, not making the sacrifice for the sake of the relationship usually means the relationship has to end, so people are usually extra careful before making their decision.

Choosing between love and career is something we are all very familiar with. Almost every person in a relationship faces a situation in which they have to choose whether they want to sacrifice an element of their career–a promotion, a new job opportunity, or even a career change, or to sacrifice their relationship.

But, how can you choose between the person you love and the career you worked so hard to build?

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  • That is exactly the question the woman in the story below is currently asking. She was offered a huge promotion that requires her to move to another state, and her fiancé is not on board with the change. It is becoming clear to her that she will have to choose between the two, and she doesn't know what to do…

     

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    "IfI go, it means ending a relationship I've poured years of love into"
    via yamasan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I’m (26F) supposed to be getting married in 6 months to my fiancé (28M). I just got offered a major promotion, but he’s said no to moving. I don’t know what to do.

    My fiancé and I have been together for nearly seven years. We've built a life together. We own a house, have pets, and are supposed to be getting married
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    in six months. From the outside, everything looks stable. But inside, I'm falling apart trying to carry all of it. I was just offered a major promotion at work. It's a big step
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    forward, and something I've been working toward for over two years. It would mean moving to a new city, but also comes with a pay increase that would
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    DOUBLE!!! my salary. Also, a chance to finally move into a more senior role. It's the kind of opportunity that doesn't come around often, and I'm very young to get the offer.
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    When I brought it up to my partner, he basically shut it down. He said he isn't ready to move for at least 6 months and would prefer to never move.
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    Unfortunately, the company needs an answer soon, and my current role is being eliminated in 2 months. I won't have a job, if I continue to wait.
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    This promotion has made me confront some other issues in our relationship. I've been carrying the emotional and household labor in our relationship for a
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    long time. I planned the wedding, I do the majority of the household Labor Day to day, I manage our pets, and I built our social life. I also support us financially and emotionally. He
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    absolutely contributes financially, he owns the house and helps with logistics. But the day to day chores and work is on me.
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    Emotionally, I also don't feel very supported. When I'm upset or struggling, he tends to withdraw or ignore it. If I try to share what I'm going through, he'll change the subject or make a joke. I've
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    tried to explain what I need. Presence, care, curiosity, a little warmth. It rarely happens. When I bring this up, he gets defensive or frustrated.
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    Cheezburger Image 10522495232
    via Africa images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Now with this job offer on the table, I feel completely stuck. If I stay, I feel like I'm giving up an amazing opportunity. But if I go, it might mean ending a
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    relationship I've poured years of love and effort into. Any recommendations from people that have been in this position?
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    Edit: The job is in another state, Im looking at up to 200k income, and it's closer to my family. My fiancé can also keep his job with the move. He owns the house, I pay rent. 50/50 on all the other bills/expenses.
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    TLDR I'm engaged and supposed to get married in six months. I just got offered a big promotion that requires moving. My fiancé said no, and also hasn't been
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    showing up for me emotionally for a long time. I feel stuck and unsure what to do next.
    via Significant_Neck_490
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    Ritzy_Ditzy_92 "But if I go, it might mean ending a relationship I've poured years of love and effort into" This is sunk cost fallacy.
    via Ritzy_Ditzy_92
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    You have described a one-sided relationship that has not changed when you attempted to address it. What makes you think your fiancé will change if you turn the promotion down?
    via Ritzy_Ditzy_92
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    I think you need to ask yourself: If I turn this job down and never get this opportunity again, will I still resent my fiancé 6 years from now?
    via Ritzy_Ditzy_92
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    Personally, I think you'd be stupid to turn it down. But I have a partner who moved with me, so I'm biased.
    via Ritzy_Ditzy_92
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    pamelaonthego Take the promotion. You will absolutely regret not doing so.
    via pamelaonthego
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    nightshift_traveler Take the job. This sounds like a fantastic career move for you. It seems like you're the one putting all the effort in to the relationship. If you don't take this
    via nightshift_traveler
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    job it sounds like you'll be out of a job and will have to find a new one? That doesn't seem fair. He should be supportive, not dismissive. I say take the job, you won't regret.
    via nightshift_traveler

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