Girlfriend brings her 4-year-old son over to her boyfriend of 4 months' apartment every night, makes boyfriend sleep on the couch for a month straight: 'He’s been here every night for 2 weeks now'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 27, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

If you're one of those people who fall in love with someone in three weeks, I understand. I am in denial about being one of you, and I'm trying to change my ways. A significant part of establishing a healthy relationship that can last is not expecting too much from someone during the first couple of months of dating. You can't expect someone to want to spend six days a week in your company if you haven't even defined the relationship. We all know someone whose parents got married after knowing each other for six months and have been married for 40 years, but that is the exception, not the rule. Most relationships aren't buoyed by moving in together after two months or becoming a parental figure for the other partner's children. The latter is especially damaging, considering that people often break up after a couple of months of dating, and kids form attachments to the adults in their lives. 

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  • 01

    Should I tell my gf to stop bringing her kid over every night?

    Would I be an a h le if I told my gf to slow down on bringing her kid to my apartment every night. I don't mind from time to time. And before it was from time to time. However he's been here every night for two weeks now. I'm afraid it might be becoming routine for her. The problem is
    via u/Glad-Situation-7190

  • The kid in this story has been sleeping at his mother's boyfriend's apartment every night for the past month. This isn't a longtime boyfriend: they've only been dating for four months. If that doesn't raise red flags for you, you should inspect your hoist for defects. 

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10522791168
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    that I have a one bedroom and I've been sleeping on the couch while they sleep in my bed. She always asks if I'm coming to bed too. However I don't feel comfortable yet sleeping in bed with her and her son (he's 4). We've been dating for 4 months and I've only known her son for about a month now. After work
    via u/Glad-Situation-7190
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    via Planet Volumes (Unsplash+)

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  • 05
    she stops by her mom's house and brings him to my place. She says she only brings him because he cries to her about wanting to come to my place with her. Am I overreacting? Should I get over it and just sleep in the bed. Or should I wait it out. Is she just testing our situation?
    via u/Glad-Situation-7190
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    via Thais Varela (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    Recent Body_5784 I think it's wild that she would let a man sleep in the same bed as her child that she's only known for four months. Sadly, I think that says a lot about her as a parent.
    via u/Recent_Body_5784
  • 08
    nrappaportrn Exactly. My heart breaks for this kid. How irresponsible of a mother she is. You guys sound young, 20's? This situation is unhealthy & she's not protecting that kid. I'd tread very carefully in this new relationship. Good for you for sleeping on the couch but this isn't sustainable. Break it off now for the kids sake.
    via u/nrappaportrn
  • 09
    Mysterious_Spark Dragging that kid around town so she can date is wild. He needs to be home in his own bed. No wonder he's clingy and needing to sleep in bed with her, when he's sleeping in some strange man's house every night.
    via u/Mysterious_Spark
  • 10
    straightouttathe 70s I'm guessing she's looking for somewhere to live......I'm probably being judge-y, but it sounds like she lives with her parents but is looking for somewhere to live and someone to take care of her and her kid!!! OP needs to cut & run....... she's full of red flags! (And her parenting style: OMG! She needs to be more careful of where she takes her kid!!!)
    via u/straightouttathe70s
  • 11
    IndividualGain4653 This right here. Her parents have probably given her a timeline to get out their house. Why do I get the feeling that those grandparents is that baby actual parents and their daughter is out here living a carefree, child free life.
    via u/IndividualGain4653
  • 12
    Ivioletsnow As the child of a father who did this, introducing me to random women constantly and leaving me with them, it seriously messed with my ability to bond with others as an adult. The kinds of people who do this are not stable and won't be able to maintain relationships with the people they're bringing into their child's life. This hurts both the partner and the child, since they form attachments.
    via u/Ivioletsnow
  • 13
    Silent-Badger-3331 Honestly - red flags that after 4 months she's coming to your house every night. Even the fact she's introduced you to her kid after such a short amount of time and thinks it's ok for you to sleep in the same bed with her and her child. Of course her kid is crying and wants to be with her, they are 4. She should be spending her nights with her 4 year old, not abandoning the kid for a 4 month old relationship. Definitely do not sleep in the bed with her and her kid after only 4
    via u/Silent-Badger-3331
  • 14
    uttersmoke What you are saying is pretty valid. Involving a kid early in the relationship can be quiet tricky. You can tell her honestly how you feel about it and navigate a way she can spend time with you and her kid as well.
    via u/uttersmoke
  • 15
    FaeWhimsyGlow You need to have a real conversation about it, letting her know you honest opinions and how you feel about it, try to set early boundaries early or with time won't be able to handle it properly without it raising big issues.
    via u/FaeWhimsyGlow
  • 16
    Mhunterjr My guess is the kid isn't crying to come to your place. He's crying because he wants to go wherever mommy is going. Is she homeless? My guess is she tries to drop the kids off with grandma before bumming it at your place, but the kid doesn't want to stay with grandma.
    via u/Mhunterjr
  • 17
    carnal_traveller She wants you in the father's role. Are you ready? NTA, tell her straight cos this will get heavy faster than you think.
    via u/carnal_traveller
  • 18
    Goodie2ShoezQT I would just tell her.
    via u/Goodie2ShoezQT
  • 19
    Ripwkbak I once dated a woman that lived in a studio apartment with her 3 kids. At the time I didn't think much of it but after only 1 month of dating I would sleep over in the same room as all of them. What's worse is she would want to have In a room with her three kids. I was not able to do it and eventually woke up to how crazy this was and left her.
    via u/Ripwkbak
  • 20
    amj-10 I'm sorry, why is she introducing a man to her child that she's only been dating for 4 months?! This is wild to me. As someone who had multiple "dads" (due to my mother's failed relationships) this is so bad for that child's emotional well-being.
    via u/amj-10
  • 21
    It sounds to me like she is bringing her son over everyday because she wants to "play house" with you. If you're not sure you want your relationship to move in that direction just yet, I think you need to set that boundary for the sake of that child.
    via u/amj-10
  • 22
    Catezero Bro I dated a guy I thought I was gonna marry for 2 years and he didn't even meet my son until wed been dating for 18 months and even then it was for a picnic. Ur gf is a whole a mess, she needs to figure her sh out and u need to run
    via u/Catezero
  • 23
    Lcky22 I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a parent with such poor judgment
    via u/Lcky22
  • 24
    sassysiggy NTA. I was a single parent, I wouldn't even introduce my girls to a women for at least 6 months.
    via u/sassysiggy
  • 25
    emr830 Yeah no more overnight visits if she brings her kid. Do you know for sure that she has her own place? Having the kid for an overnight once in a while would be okay, and he should sleep on the couch if he does. Do not share a bed with him! This has to be confusing for the kid. I'd rethink this relationship. She needs to worry about providing a stable home for the two of them, not dating.
    via u/emr830

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