35+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (June 28, 2025)

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 28, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

What makes something fresh? It's a word we use a lot without a clear definition. I mean, we agree that it has something to do with being new/ripe/unused/just-plucked. We call fruit "fresh" when it's raw and in season. We call a beat "fresh" when we like the way that it sounds and we haven't heard anything like it before. We call a haircut "fresh" when it looks clean and attractive. 

So what do we mean when we call tweets "fresh?" Well, I chose the word so let me explain. Fresh Tweets, first of all, are tweets from this week. Yeah, this week. The one in which you're reading this. That is unless you're reading this in the future. Then they aren't fresh anymore. I also mean that they're funny. They will make you laugh in a major way. And finally, I mean that you've never seen them before. Okay if you're a Twitter hound, you might have, but don't blame me. 

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  • Fresh tweets represent the best and the brightest of this week's internet. They're what everyone is buzzing about. They speak to the here and now, right now. Kind of punk in a way. Enough yapping from me. Scroll the tweets now. 

  • 01
    1997 FORD FIESTA @skooookum The adderall has worn off and I'm no longer interested in designing fault tolerant distributed systems. I'm interested in beer 4:27 PM 6/18/25 664K Views 93 1.7K 25K 1.6K 企
    via @skooookum
  • 02
    Due Process Enjoyer @MoleculesGoHard This tweet inspired me to combine rice (carbs) and lentils (protein and fiber) in my rice cooker. The result is a disgusting, nutritionally-complete mush that I call rintil @jadinho97.5d How easy life would've been if rice had protein 5:10 PM 6/22/25 3.5M Views 667 14.1K 109K ☐ 6K
    via @MoleculesGoHard
  • 03
    LASIK.com @LASIKdotcom Yes, we offer all NBA refs free LASIK eye surgery. 9:12 PM 6/22/25.2M Views 236 14.9K 65K ☐ 1.2K ↑
    via @LASIKdotcom
  • 04
    aliana @alirosetal white people be like im craving shepards pie 6:33 PM 6/20/25 2.3M Views 887 17 6K 63K 2.1K
    via @alirosetal
  • 05
    demotivational speaker. @hey_sita Please don't tell me any bad news in Chilis. Like right infront of my triple dipper and honey chipotle crispers? Save it. 5:35 PM 6/23/25 132K Views ◇ 15 1.1K 5.1K 157 ↑
    via @hey_sita
  • 06
    T @teewatterss my feed split between Love Island and WWIII • 10:04 AM 6/22/25 4.2M Views 111 31K 231K 5.5K ↑
    via @teewatterss
  • 07
    Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End,... @JasonKPargin By now we've all figured out that these LED bulbs don't actually last 15 years but we've collectively decided to just let it slide 5:20 PM 6/22/25 79K Views ○ 203 1220 4.3K 83 企
    via @JasonKPargin
  • 08
    doomer @uncledoomer dutch people eat like an alleycat in a cartoon Jini Jane @jinijane_.1d As a Dutch child I was exposed to extreme amounts of w d smoke, but thanks to being fed large amounts of herring, my brain formed a protective layer which has kept my IQ intact
    via @uncledoomer
  • 09
    big sean's verse in the mighty fall @gremlinmichael we need a slur for people who use chatgpt 2:01 PM 6/20/25 8.6M Views 3K 17K 194K ☐ 5.8K
    via @gremlinmichael
  • 10
    jay✰ @imyjayy when her friends say "you better treat her right or we're going to have problems" bibigo AKERS 2024 WESTERN FIRST ROUND LEBRON JAMI 16 PTS 3 FOULS 12:05 PM 6/20/25 2.9M Views . 250 17 7K 82K ☐ 3.8K ↑
    via @imyjayy
  • 11
    owen cyclops @owenbroadcast one time i was a camp counselor. the kids were seven. we all had a question about japan. one of our kids was japanese, so i ask him. the kid said: im chinese, not japanese. wow. my bad. later i met his mom. she told me theyre japanese. when i asked him about this he laughed at me • 11:07 PM 6/20/25 1.8M Views • 143 17 2.8K 112K ☐ 3.4K 企
    via @owenbroadcast
  • 12
    @wwxwashere got asked "why do you think you stand out?” at an interview where i was under qualified. i said "i earned my degree before any Al existed, which means i don't depend on it and i believe you'll find most of your other candidates do" got the second interview LOL .. 1:18 AM 6/19/25 2.5M Views 98 27 7K 180K 11K ↑
    via @wwxwashere
  • 13
    kyle alex brett @kyalbr If I owned a chain of movie theaters like AMC, I'd spend a lot of time trying to figure out how I could do live screenings of NBA and NFL games and episodes of shows like Love Island with happy hour prices on drinks and snacks. 12:03 AM 6/20/25 4.6M Views 1.2K 17.6K 146K ☐ 5.3K ↑
    via @kyalbr
  • 14
    Alejandro Santiago @Big_A_Santiago How do I lose 15 lbs while also drinking heavily 5-7 nights a week and not working out any and eating a lot too 10:43 AM 6/18/25 4.3M Views • 2.1K 17.1K 126K 3.3K ↑
    via @Big_A_Santiago
  • 15
    Allen Robinson II @Allen Robinson Glad this came up, street fight guy on the left better call for back up. Jules @itsjules007.1d It's hard to explain to someone who isn't a boxing fan that the guy on the left beats the guy on the right in a street fight. SOB 6:38 PM 6/18/25 4.2M Views 99 PRECOR
    via @AllenRobinson
  • 16
    kiwikinz 2 #ILMFRIENDS @love_my_friends i called my dad crying and told him I was sorry for pushing him away so many years and that I'm scared because his health is bad and he started talking about watches and new tires 3:41 AM 6/22/25 10M Views 956 17 9.5K 356K 19K 企
    via @love_my_friends
  • 17
    Alice @AliceinDCland DC weather boldly daring to ask "have you ever wanted to experience the life cycle of a steamed dumpling while wearing business casual" 10:17 AM 6/23/25 310K Views 20 17859 12K 438 ↑
    via @AliceinDCland
  • 18
    Kristen @Kica333 Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that's not fully sealed at the bottom? • 5:25 PM 6/22/25 4.1M Views 530 17 8K 206K ☐ 2.2K ↑
    via @Kica333
  • 19
    Matthew Cappucci @MatthewCappucci TSA might want RealID, but I have the realest ID. HARACTER Pass It On.com HE FOUNDATION & BETTER LIFE M WAFFLE HOUSE. Matthew Cappucci Meteorologist 3:05 PM 6/22/25 1.3M Views
    via @MatthewCappucci
  • 20
    Jace ✓ @retroJACE ok hear me out... Summer really is the worst season. just has really good PR. 9:21 AM 6/23/25 8.3M Views 1.6K t 21K 160K ☐ 4.2K
    via @retroJACE
  • 21
    F Train Freddy ❤ @TheOpsWarrior Dudes will see this image and be like "He's literally me" 8:13 AM 6/24/25 1.4M Views QUINNESS
    via @TheOpsWarrior
  • 22
    Despachico @_CHICO What if we kissed in the accordion part of the bus north @northØfnorth - 7/9/24 the seats in the bendy part of the articulated cta buses are the most magical place in the universe 6:07 PM 7/9/24 7.3M Views 160 13K 189K ☐ 3.2K ↑
    via @_CHICO
  • 23
    Juju and Cleo @jujubeeandcleo incredible fb marketplace ad i saw this week Pull up bar for door frame $25 2:23 PM 6/23/25 1.7M Views 67 15.3K 87K 2.8K ↑
    via @jujubeeandcleo
  • 24
    Dreadlef Schrempf @TheLesterLee Stevie Wonder is blind and plays like 36 instruments R Kelly can see and can't read BRANCEMBER @1001YA_ .4d So yall saying Stevie wonder is better than R Kelly?? 12:30 PM 6/20/25.5.8M Views 747 17 20K 172K ☐ 4.8K
    via @TheLesterLee
  • 25
    FranciscoTNG @FranciscoTNG_ Grubhub perks gives you deals on the food you love 4 DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm. 1d 'ELIO' had the worst box office opening for a Pixar film ever with $21M domestically. Read our review: bit.ly/ElioDF
    via @FranciscoTNG_
  • 26
    O'Shea Jackson Jr @OsheaJacksonJr H&M got good sh. WTH Imaoo FearBuck @Feared Buck. 1d B. Simone nearly cried revealing she's so broke she shops at H&M instead of Bloomingdale's ●● 9:32 PM 6/22/25 1.7M Views 407 27 3K 36K 925 企 8
    via @OsheaJacksonJr
  • 27
    Chuck Bass P @ChuckFBass Joe Burrow looks like if Limewire was a person.
    via @ChuckFBass
  • 28
    soph @spojw if white men are so afraid to speak freely then why am i always hearing them talk FOX NEWS Fox News channel @FoxNews. 2d White men are 'walking around on eggshells at work', afraid to speak freely: Survey foxnews.com/ media/white-me... 8:08 AM 6/23/25 2.7M Views 215 15K 140K 1.6K ↑
    via @spojw
  • 29
    Sam @halaljew Congratulations to Brad Lander for picking up the coveted vote of the one lonely soul who lives in the Brooklyn Navy Yard The New York Times GIVE THE TIMES Broadway ton St Prospect St Tillary St DUMBO Williamsburg 52-087 Candidate Votes Pct. Brad Lander 1 100% Zohran Mamdani 0 0.0% Scott Stringer 0 0.0% Park Ave Park Ave Downtown Brooklyn Myrtle Ave Myrtle Ave 10:07 PM 6/24/25 1.4M Views 60 1.5K Lee Ave Lee Ave Wallabo 60K 1.8K ↑
    via @halaljew
  • 30
    dinosaur @dinosaurs1969 did AMC get scammed into buying way too many jalapenos or something SALA .99 SPICE UP YOUR ORDER SLICED JALAPEÑOS 49.9 Select salad CHICKE KIDS -Chicken 25 30 35 35 35 35 35 99 cal 49 cal 49 cal 1:32 PM 6/25/25 785K Views 46 1474 A 2,000 c nutrition a Additional upon requ 23K 379 ↑
    via @dinosaurs1969
  • 31
    richard @richard_normal if you respond to emails and teams messages quickly then you can get away with basically anything at work 5:41 PM 6/25/25.269K Views 35 1659 15K ☐ 802 ↑
    via @richard_normal
  • 32
    Larry Windhorst @WindhorstLarry It's so hot out I just hyrdoplaned off the toilet seat at work 1:50 PM 6/24/25 4.1M Views 118 6.7K 126K ☐ 4.1K ↑
    via @WindhorstLarry
  • 33
    juju $ @ayeejuju why don't mice make holes like these anymore? 2:23 PM 6/24/25.4.1M Views 1K 17 3K 102K ☐ 2.9K ↑
    via @ayeejuju
  • 34
    august @regularaugust Alright this one can't be that hard to figure out C Cosmopolitan https://www.cosmopolitan.com How to Watch the '28 Days Later' Movies in Order 3 days ago - How to Watch the '28 Days Later' Movies in Order 28 Days Later (2002) - 28 Weeks Later (2007) 28 Years Later (2025). 7:04 PM 6/24/25 635K Views 85 1.2K 36K 732 企
    via @regularaugust
  • 35
    Alistair Kitchen @alistairkitchen It's legal for white boys to say inshallah again 10:54 PM 6/24/25 1.2M Views 109 17 2.8K 61K 1.1K
    via @alistairkitchen
  • 36
    marshmello @marshmello how else am I supposed to eat them? Daily Noud @DailyNoud. 1d Marshmello will reportedly remove his helmet for upcoming July 4th hotdog eating competition. Mathan's Math Since 1916 • 6:42 PM 6/24/25. 11M Views 804 17 8.6K 285K ☐ 4.8K Pepc
    via @marshmello

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