28-year-old father of 2 asks his 22-year-old college student girlfriend to move in with him and pay half of his bills: 'He said “we’d be a family” and that his kids would be like mine in the future'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 28, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

I have one piece of advice for y'all: never move in with a partner just to cut down on bills. I know it can feel so tempting to go from paying four figures in rent to three figures, but if the relationship is not ready for that step, it will have disastrous consequences. You shouldn't make any moves in a relationship just because it feels convenient in the moment. I once had a girl ask to be my girlfriend solely because it was Pride month, and I said yes. What a fool! Can you believe that didn't last? 

Many people enter romantic entanglements not because they're genuinely interested in that person, but because they have a pre-existing issue that they believe dating that person will resolve. If you desperately want a mother figure for your two children, you might rush into a relationship that you have no business being in. 

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  • That is the case for this couple. They have only been together for a couple of months, and the boyfriend is already pressuring the girlfriend to move in, pay more in rent than she's currently paying at her one-bedroom apartment, and take on a greater role in her relationship with his two kids.  

  • 01

    AITA for refusing to pay half the rent for my boyfriend’s house that he needs for his kids?

    Me (22F) and my boyfriend (28M) have been together for 7 months (4 officially dating). He has two kids (5 & 8), and while I've never been a "kid person,” I met them a while ago and they're really sweet. I've been respectful and tried to build a good relationship
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10522890496
    via Brooke Cagle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    with them. I don't have kids of my own and I'm not planning on having any soon-I'm not ready emotionally or financially, and I made this very clear to my boyfriend from the beginning.
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 04
    I currently live alone in a small place I love, paying $1,200/month (everything included). I have two jobs, but I'll be starting college after summer with help from my parents, so I'll quit one job to focus on school.
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 05
    Now, my boyfriend's life is chaotic. His ex (mother of his kids) left him deeply in debt. He has a car he hasn't paid in two years and uses his mom's car. He can't get a credit card due to debt from the relationship. He currently lives with his 8-year-old
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 06
    and takes care of him with help from his grandmother. He also wants full custody of his youngest. But his mom and grandma (who help with rent and childcare) are moving out of state soon, and he'll be left alone with all responsibilities.
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 07
    He rents a 3-bedroom, 2-bath house for $2,800/month. Once his family moves out, he'll be on the hook for the full amount alone. He recently brought up the idea of me moving in again. I reminded him I'm not ready for
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 08
    that, especially not to take on a mom role, but just out of curiosity, I asked how much he'd expect me to pay. He said half— $1,400/month (not including utilities).
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 09
    I was shocked. That's way more than I pay now, and that house has three bedrooms-two of which are for his kids. I told him I wouldn't pay half because it's not fair to expect me to help cover a space I don't need. I offered to
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 10
    2008
    via Francesco Ungaro

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    pay a third ($933) if I ever moved in, and he got upset. He said “we'd be a family” and that his kids would be like mine in the future, and that helping each other is what families do.
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 12
    I understand that, but I feel like he's trying to make me responsible for a life that isn't. mine. His ex never paid for anything, and that's how he ended up so financially unstable. So why does he expect me― someone who isn't the mother of his kids and just starting her life— to carry that burden?
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 13
    I care about him and I like his kids, but I'm not in a position to be a stepmom or help raise a family financially. I'm just trying to build my own future. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is my offer unfair? Or is he asking too much too soon?
    via u/Kitty-Gangster
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10522893312
    via Meg Aghamyan (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 15
    Leahthevagabond NTA but girl what are you doing?? Why are you dating a guy with kids if you don't want to be a stepmom. You are young and about to be in school, be single for a minute and meet someone at the same place in life that you are, not the whole kids and family deal if you are undecided. Definitely do not move in with someone you've only known 7 months!
    via u/Leahthevagabond
  • 16
    Learning-evryday NTA - Way too much too soon. You need at least a year to get to know the ins and outs of this family. You are paying a great price for your own place - don't lose that! Remember you also have a path and if he doesn't respect that, he's not the guy for you.
    via u/Learning-evryday
  • 17
    zombie_kittens Run away, like yesterday. He's just looking for a live-in maid/babysitter. People should not cohabitate to save on bills alone, and that's all that's been presented here. You're too young to be dealing with this. Dump him and enjoy college life freely since YOU didn't pop out kids you can't afford to care for. Please don't get wrapped up in his disaster of a life!
    via u/zombie__kittens
  • 18
    Zieglest I'm sorry for your bf who is trying to be a stand up dad, but you're way too young for this. You're at a completely different stage in your life from him, you need to focus on building your future not supporting his family. This relationship isn't going to work. NAH but you need to end it.
    via u/Zieglest
  • 19
    stargazer_hazel Something tells me he racked up that debt on his own.
    via u/stargazer_hazel
  • 20
    vTenebrae NTA and I can about guarantee you'll be paying half the rent and doing the majority of the household duties and child care. He's trying to rush you into it, because he's trying to put all of his responsibilities on you. You'll be a "faaaaaamily.... And this is what families dooooooo"
    via u/vTenebrae
  • 21
    Your goals will fall to the wayside and college will disappear. Cause. Oops... He can't get home from work to watch the kids, guess you'll have to skip class again! Oh darn, you got kicked out? Great... More time with the kids or to get another job to pay his bills.
    via u/vTenebrae
  • 22
    GWPthe Trilogy1 Why on EARTH would you, a 22 year old college student with no kids...be interested in this man??? I'm just not understanding that at all.
    via u/GWPtheTrilogy1
  • 23
    Wizywig Furthermore... after only 7 months?!?!?!
    via u/Wizywig
  • 24
    AntiqueLengthiness71 NTA...Too soon to merge lives and y'all aren't even engaged. Tell him how you feel and why, if he can't respect your boundaries then it may be necessary to rethink your relationship.
    via u/AntiqueLengthiness71
  • 25
    Regular_Look_1962 I agree with all the comments, something else to think about, let's say you did move in with him, and it didn't work out, how easy do you think you would find it to leave not just him but two children ? and I think this may well be what he is banking on that you would stay for the sake of the children. He is asking far too much from you, not just financially but emotionally too.
    via u/Regular_Look_1962

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