29-year-old home co-owner protests and plans hotel stay when mom insists on letting cousin and 2 kids stay in her space for the summer: 'Now you won't be home alone!'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 5, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Everybody needs their me time every so often, and some need a lot more than others. However, a lot of people live in circumstances where this isn't always a possibility that they can capitalize on. Whether burdened with annoying roommates, having kids, or living with family, there are many reasons why an individual may not get much of a chance to enjoy being alone in their personal space.

As a result, many in these living scenarios jump at the chance for some peace and quiet in their home, and are not too happy if that gets disrupted. Unfortunately, one of the downsides of living with others is that there is every chance that this will happen. Not everyone is going to respect a rare chance at privacy and solitude, particularly if they believe they have more entitlement to a space than somebody else. It is no shock that this can become a source of tension. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to share my space with my cousin and her kids and planning to leave while they’re staying with us?

    I (29F) co-own a home with my mom and sister. I live in the basement, which has been my private space. Today, my mom told me that my cousin from overseas (who I barely know) and her two young kids are coming to stay with us for the entire summer, and that they'll be staying in the basement with me in the spare room. I'l protested and she called me selfish. I don't even know the names of my cousins kids at all, and I value my personal space and quiet. I also work night shifts so when I come home
    via Ok-Appointment-1800
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10525333504
    via Zachary Kadolph

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman went as far as looking into a hotel when her mom, with whom she co-owned her house along with her sister, unexpectedly told her that her cousin and two kids would be staying for the summer and sharing her personal living space. Her mom and sister would be on a 10-day cruise when the extended family arrived.

    The woman protested at this due to the fact that she had not expected the visit, and only her living space in the house would be affected. She wanted to know if she was being unreasonable.

  • 03
    For added context: the last time a cousin stayed with us from overseas, my mom pressured me into giving her money so she could shop. I'm afraid that history will repeat itself, but 3x as much since she's bringing her kids too. At this point, I'm so upset I'm seriously considering going. to a hotel for those 10 days just to have peace. It feels like my space and comfort were completely disregarded and I don't want to give up my personal space. AITA in this situation?
    via OK-Appointment-1800
  • 04
    EDIT 1: My basement space is fully open to the upstairs there's no door, just a staircase. So it's not like I can lock anything or really block off my space, plus the laundry room is in the basement which everyone needs access to. EDIT 2: Yes, I legally co-own the home. My name is on the title and the deed. I live in the basement, which has its own living area and bathroom. There are two rooms down there, mine and a spare room that my brother uses when he visits like once a month, but he only st
    via Ok-Appointment-1800
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10525333760
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06

    Outsiders backed up her point of view.

    Riker Omega Three If you co own the home with your mom, you make it clear...your mom can't volunteer your space for her guests..and that your family will not be staying with you in the basement. Period. NTA
    via Riker_Omega_Three
  • 07
    Exciting-Peanut-1526 While it's easy to say this. Mom sounds like she'll just do it anyways. Make sure mom knows that for those 10days the cousin and kids will not be allowed in the house. Since they are mom's guests, mom needs to be there. For the rest of the time, you will kick them out of the basement if they disrupt your sleep during the day. And under NO circumstances will you be giving them money or hosting them.
    via Exciting-Peanut-1526
  • 08
    scrotalsac69 NTA - Tell them you want your 3rd out of the house as you can't enjoy it anymore.
    via scrotalsac69
  • 09
    ΝΤΑ CandylandCanada Time to get very specific and be very direct. "Mom, I'm a part owner of this house, so I get an equal say in what happens here. I will not allow cousin and kids to stay here. I will change the locks if necessary, will not allow them in and will not give them any money. You should notify cousin TODAY so that she can make other arrangements. I will not change my mind, so save your breath on trying to get me to change my mind. This is my final word on this matter."
    via CandylandCanada
  • 10
    Ok_Strawberry_197 Right, and if they want they can stay in Mom and Sister's rooms for the ten days they're gone on that cruise before cousin and family are moving to a hotel. (Does anyone else get a feeling that maybe cousin will be giving some money to Mom as part of this? Money that OP knows nothing about?)
    via Ok_Strawberry_197
  • 11
    auntwewe I think the Cousin and two kids should stay upstairs and the mom and sister's room while they're gone. You still have your space and they can entertain themselves
    via auntwewe
  • 12
    ScarletNotThatOne NTA. Your co-owner tells you that you're going to be giving up your space? I don't think so.
    via ScarletNotThatOne
  • 13
    Loud-Review-3797 Yeah, at this point, mom wants to be 'mom' here and start to act like she's sole owner. That's not how co-ownership works, and at this point an attorney should get involved if she chooses to ignore you.
    via Loud-Review-3797
  • 14
    candycoatedcoward NTA. It might be better for your mother and sister to buy you out, since they are treating you like you neither own nor pay rent. Take your share and get your own place.
    via candycoatedcoward
  • 15
    whoreallycarz NTA. I would be completely devastated if I thought I was going to have 10 whole days to myself and then learned I was going to be surrounded by strangers instead. You really need to get your own space.
    via whoreallycarz
  • 16
    coffeebugtravels If you are an owner in the house, you have the right to say NO to someone staying there, especially since they will be in your space. Either way you decide, you are NTA. I'm torn between recommending you go elsewhere or stay there. My concern is that if you're gone, they (your visiting relatives) will have access to your belongings, unless you have a way to lock everything up. Please take that into consideration when making your decision. But if you can lock it up/secure it, the
    via coffeebugtravels
  • 17
    HolSmGamer NTA. You are welcome to go wherever you want with your own money. That being said, you are a 29 y/o, you don't have to cater to them at all if you don't want to. You are also a partial owner of the home so you can set (reasonable) rules for them to help make your time bearable. You shouldn't have to waste your money on a hotel.
    via HolSmGamer
  • 18
    Individual_Metal_983 NTA because you own the house with your mother and sister. All guests should be run past the other householders. What makes this worse is that your mum has invited them when she is not there to host.
    via Individual_Metal_983
  • 19
    TheRoadkillRapunzel NTA. Tell your cousin directly that you cannot host them. She might make other arrangements then. If not, can you lock her and her kids out of the basement and give them your mom's space to be in?
    via TheRoadkllRapunzel
  • 20
    lonedroan NTA. You're being treated as if you're an adult living in a home that only belongs to the parent(s). That's not the case here: you own the home. Your expected personal space is literally your space; you own it. So you have every right to expect your usual private space to remain private, and especially to decide who will and won't be in the house with you when the other owner isn't there! Plus, any months' long change in sleeping arrangements should not have been agreed to until you si
    via loanedroan
  • 21
    Panda_9894 NTA. It seems like there are communication issues happening. Is there anywhere else your cousins can sleep in the house? If your mom and sister are going to be gone why would you all be crammed into the basement that makes no sense
    via Panda_9894
  • 22
    Jealous-Contract7426 If you co-own the home then that space is yours and yours alone. The cousin and family can stay in your mom's space. Leave the house. Lock your space. Tell your mom no or stop paying into the house. ΝΤΑ
    via Jealous-Contract7426
  • 23
    KatzAKat NTA. Your mom sure is, though. Let the cousins have your mom's room since she invited them. Get locks or codes for your doors to insure your privacy. Sell your portion of the house and get out of there. You're never going to be respected as anything other than "her daughter" who is supposed to do as you're told.
    via KatzAKat
  • 24
    LikeUGiveAFig Get the hotel. Don't do any special favors. Your mom is lucky you are allowing it to happen to begin with
    via LikeUGiveAFig

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