'I finally snapped': 20-year-old mom who practices "gentle parenting" with her 4-year-old lets the kid pull on her friend's cat's tail repeatedly without interfering, then plays the victim when her friend complains and asks her to leave her home

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jul 8, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Freedom. That's something that we believe in. The freedom to express yourself, the freedom to do what you want to do. We believe in all of that… up until it comes to our cats. Then, there are rules. Our houses, our cats, our rules. And that should be okay. There are certain things that cats can't eat, and there are plants that are poisonous to cats that you shouldn't bring home in bouquets, and, as should be obvious, there are certain things that you are not allowed to do to cats. Like pull their tails.

And so we are fine with gentle parenting. Generally. We're fine with that freedom - for the parents and their kids, that is their choice. Up until it comes to our cats. You can gentle-parent all you want, but pulling on our cat's tails repeatedly is not one of the freedoms that you are allowed to have. Not in our homes, not with our cats.

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  • 01

    "Am I overreacting for kicking my friend and her kids out after seeing her 'gentle parenting' in action?"

    "No time outs, no consequences, just constant 'how do you feel right now?' chats when the kid misbehaved"
    via Unsplash / Vyacheslav Platonov - husheddd

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I'm 19F and recently let my old high school friend (20) stay at my apartment with her boyfriend and their little kid(age 4) for a weekend while they visited the area.
    via CreamiestGirl
  • 03
    We hadn't seen each other in a while, and I was excited to host. But I didn't realize she was into "gentle parenting", no time outs, no consequences, just constant "how do you feel right now?" chats when the kid misbehaved.
    via CreamiestGirl
  • 04
    In two days, her kid drew on my walls with marker, knocked over my plants, pulled my cat's tail repeatedly, threw a toy at my laptop.
    via CreamiestGirl
  • 05
    She and her boyfriend never stopped their kid. When I tried to step in and say "no" or redirect the kid, she got upset and told me I was being too harsh.
    via CreamiestGirl
  • 06
    I finally snapped and said they either needed to get a hotel or go home. She accused me of judging her parenting and left angry.
    via CreamiestGirl
  • 07
    Now she's ghosting me and mutual friends say I overreacted. So... am I really overreacting for setting boundaries in my own home? Or is this just not working because we're in different life stages?
    via CreamiestGirl
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10525955840
    via Unsplash / Christin Hume - christinhumephoto

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Look, we understand gentle parenting and everything that comes with it, we've seen it, but we think this is not it. There's gentle parenting, and then there is letting your child harm an animal without consequences, and that is simply unacceptable. 

  • 09
    UrBurntToast5 Gently parenting is a brand new viral way of parenting. Your friend watches way too many tik toks and her bf needs to grow a pair of b lls and discipline their kid. Obviously they couldn't afford to pay for a place to stay themselves. I just feel bad for the kid at this point
    via UrBurntToast5
  • 10
    platoniclesbiandate My friend was a gentle parent. She alienated her in laws when granddad snapped at her son for breaking something in his house. She took grandad aside and lectured him about how they "don't yell at her child". She refused to potty train until he was ready.
    via platoniclesbiandate
  • 11
    And general other non-parenting parenting. I watched this kid have a full temper tantrum in a candy store because he didn't get a "brown" candy, despite having a large bag of candy he picked. She wouldn't stop the screaming and hitting (her) and just bought him the brown candy.
    via platoniclesbiandate
  • 12
    Fast forward, he had to start school a year late because he wasn't potty trained. And once he finally did start, he beat up several kids, pulled a little girl down to the ground by her ponytail, and was generally such a problem she was called to school for a conference where they told her and her husband they needed parenting lessons.
    via platoniclesbiandate
  • 13
    Kavafy "pulled my cat's tail repeatedly" Oh, f no. GTFO.
    via Kavafy
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10525947392
    via Unsplash / Holly Landkammer

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The fact that this “friend” somehow made the cat owner come out to be the bad guy in this situation is baffling. She was trying to protect her cat - that is what you are supposed to do, even if the offender is a child. You protect your pet. 

  • 15
    LavenderSharpie Gentle Parenting is not a free for all! There are clear boundaries and expectations as part of GP! Your friend is lazy or ignorant or a little of both
    via LavenderSharpie
  • 16
    AnyBudget5507 This isn't even gentle parenting. Gentle parenting just means you don't hit your kids, there are still consequences. This is permissive parenting, where the kid is allowed to do whatever they want with no parenting at all. NTA and I personally wouldn't be friends with her after this.
    via AnyBudget5507
  • 17
    Silvermorney You are not judging her parenting because she literally isn't actually doing any at all. That's the whole point gentle parenting is just neglect by another name. At least in my opinion anyway. Stand your ground and good luck. UpdateMe!
    via Silvermorney
  • 18
    RevolutionaryCare175 Your friends are practicing lazy parenting and calling it gentle parenting. Your friends that say you overreacted aren't listening or aren't very good friends. Letting her kids run wild without watching or redirecting them is disrespectful. Do you want a friend that is this disrespectful to your home and animals? Not overreacting.
    via RevolutionaryCare175

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cat drama friends tail parenting mom Cats children
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