Youngest brother refuses to pay his 50-year-old brother's $1150 rent bill because he and his 37-year-old wife refuse to get jobs: 'I’m the youngest of 4 brothers, and currently the only one employed'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 7, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

When are you obliged to pay your family member's rent? In basically all circumstances, the answer is "never," but of course, there are exceptions. If you own four fully paid-off properties and your mom is about to get evicted from a crummy one-bedroom apartment, you probably should at least offer to help her out. Unless she was the worst mother in the world and has made it clear she wants nothing to do with you, it's worth a shot. However, most of us don't have 7-figure net worths and can't afford to fully care for another adult, especially one who could very well take care of himself if he made a minimal effort. You can't save someone from their own bad habits, and if two working-age adults can't figure out how to get $1,150 a month to cover basic living expenses, I do not know what to tell them.

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  • The brother in this story is at the end of his rope. He has a 50-year-old brother who has been unemployed for a long time, which has been draining his savings. He has a 37-year-old wife who is capable of working, but decided that being a stay-at-home mom is more important than paying to live.

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    Cheezburger Image 10526684672
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for refusing to pay my brother’s rent?

    My brother, his wife and 2 kids live in my parents house. The $2300 monthly mortgage is split between my elderly mom and my brother. My mom pays her half with social security and taking out of her IRA. My brother is 50 years
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    old and has been unemployed for the last year. His wife is 37, fully capable and healthy of finding work, but she quit her career years ago to be a stay at home mom.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Cheezburger Image 10526685696
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    My brothers wife does not contribute to taking care of her kids. Every time I visit, his wife is up stairs and it's my brother who is feeding and taking care of the 2 kids (6 and 4). When she does come down, she yells at my brother for not taking care of the
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    kids in a specific way. She regularly fights with him and my parents and storms off to hide upstairs. She has a stronghold on everyone in that house because if they upset her then she throws tantrums.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Anyways, she told my brother to call me today and he said that my parents need help financially because he's exhausted his savings. I found that a weird statement because my mom is
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    still able to uphold her end of the deal. I said no, and said his wife needs to work and I refuse to help them because I have my own family and kid to take care of.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Cheezburger Image 10526685952
    via Hrant Khachatryan (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I'm the youngest of 4 brothers, and currently the only one employed and highly paid due to working in tech. I'm deeply offended that I was asked for money instead of being asked for guidance on how to find work.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    And I feel like if I cave and help pay, it will just enable my brother and his wife to continue to not do anything and not look for work.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Overall, I'm upset that 2 full grown adults won't even try to find ANY work to make up that $1150 they need per month to pay rent / mortgage to keep the house. They asked me for $2000 a month and I said f you.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Am I the ah le for having a hard stance on not providing financial assistance to them? I'd also love advice on what I should do here. Thanks.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    BlondeJonZ If I were you I would kick them out and pay the other half of your mom's rent just for her peace of mind. What ag dn nightmare. NTA
    via u/BlondeJonZ
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    pleasesolvefory OP Exactly what I was thinking.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Over-Masterpiece4600 Either that, or move your Mom somewhere else entirely. Do whatever is necessary to get away from these leaches.
    via u/Over-Masterpiece4600
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    pleasesolvefory OP My mom has the power here, she's the one that is still able to pay.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    KathyOverAndOut She may have financial power but she has zero power in her own home. Why is she not able to step in and put some order into that house?
    via u/KathyOverAndOut
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    Tishzilla If she can't pay for it all without help then she doesn't have the power. It would be better to put her in a place only big enough for her. This way she can still feel independent without having to deal with the rest of the family drama. She also might not allow that to happen if she also enables the son.
    via u/Tishzilla
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    MisoFreaky NTA. It's not your responsibility to support them, especially when other solutions, like his wife getting a job, seem very feasible.
    via u/MisoFreaky
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    StarboardSeat If OP can afford it, he should pay the other half of his mom's rent so his mom can finally kick those freeloaders out and she can get the much-needed needed peace and quiet that she deserves. Can you imagine having to walk on eggshells in your own home, because you're afraid your DIL will throw a tantrum? Ugh, poor woman.
    via u/StarboardSeat
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    Apprehensive War9612 He should absolutely NOT pay that other half because mom won't kick them out. He needs to move mom out.
    via u/Apprehensive_War9612
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    Civil Environment858 NTA either or both should be hustling anything legal to make money right now.
    via u/Civil_Environment858
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    pleasesolvefory OP I agree. I've suggested ubering, door dashing, learning a trade...etc ANYTHING, and they both say these things don't pay enough so they don't wanna do it.
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Civil Environment858 I have a friend who lost her job and she is doing uber and other side gigs at the moment and making it. Nothing is too small for her, babysitting, cleaning, she's all about the hustle. I live in one of the most expensive places in the country too.
    via u/Civil_Environment858
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    pleasesolvefory OP That's awesome. So do we, we live in Los Angeles and paying $1150 to be able to live in an actual home is not even heard of here. May I ask what kind of monthly income your friend is able to bring in doing uber and side gigs?
    via u/pleasesolvefory
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    Civil Environment858 I have not asked, none of my business, but it's enough to cover her expenses. $1150 might be enough to split a basic two bedroom with someone here.
    via u/Civil_Environment858

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family drama entitled parents rental brother mother siblings money problems rent mortgage entitled family renting mom money parents brothers sibling rivalry
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