53-year-old sister-in-law refuses to be called "Beth" or "aunt" after getting PhD, insists on the family calling her doctor: "It's not okay to call someone with a PhD by their first name"

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 9, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. For anyone who has a degree, we all know the time, struggle, effort, sacrifice, sensitivity, and intellect it requires to get higher education. Though a degree doesn't equate to intelligence, it certainly means something. Usually it means that the person has a decent work ethic and is okay sitting in a classroom. It could really just mean their parents have money and don't mind spending it on them. 
 

Even as someone with a master's, I might have an unusual take on degrees. Sure, it's meaningful, the person could be an expert on something. But honestly, they seem to give these  degrees out for nothing. It doesn't always mean the person is intelligent, or that they're good at their job. There are people highly trained who aren't good at what they do. It could be a doctor, psychologist, cop, or teacher. Training or education doesn't translate into being good in the field, or even coming across as an intelligent person. It's important not to put these things on a pedestal.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH for telling my SIL that family shouldn't have to call her "doctor" just because she now has a PhD?

    Cheezburger Image 10526932992
    via studioroman / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Edit: Thank you to all who responded. Some even gave me some helpful ideas to consider this strange behavior of hers that has been going on since she got
    via u/IMVenting66

  • This woman is really a piece of work. No one in the world demands to be called doctor by their family members, regardless of how many degrees they have. She's not Einstein, and I bet even he went by Albert by his mother and father. In some parts of the world, no professor goes by their last name anyway! Only first names. 

  • 03
    the degree. I just wanted to get others perspective as maybe I didn't know if things have changed since others I know got
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 04
    their doctorate. I may actually give some of the ideas to my brother Tim. Thanks again.
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 05
    Original post: So, I have a SIL(f53) that after her kids had grown she went back to school, then got her Master's then PHD in literature. Let us say her name is Elizabeth.
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 06
    We were all proud of her doing this. She has recently working part time at the library and part time online professor at the community College. The family has not had a big family gathering
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 07
    for years it seems. My kids were just getting into their teens. Our entire family has called her "Beth" for 36 yrs. Of course our kids called her aunt or auntie Beth.
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 08
    PhD
    via ilbusca from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Even after her Master's degree. So our kids and a couple of my nephews went to give her a hug. and said "Hi Aunt Beth you look great". She told them "don't you
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 10
    know it is ride to call someone with a PhD by their first name or "aunt". You will address me as Doctor Elizabeth Jones( her maiden name). "My one nephew said "you are our aunt, not our
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 11
    doctor". It was then she pulled my brothers and I aside and said to teach our kids some respect because Aunt is childish and regardless of relation, someone with a doctorate should be
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10526933504
    via Paul Tamas's Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    addressed as doctor and her legal name she was born with. I told her that it was fine in a public place or if they see her at the library, but one, they only knew her as Beth and most of them didn't know she
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 14
    started using her maiden name again. No they are not separated. I guess she hyphens the last names but for years signed letters etc as just the family name.
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 15
    She ended up telling her husband, my brother "Tim", it was time to go and that they were not going to any more family functions because his family cannot use
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 16
    professional etiquette. Tim told her he would say goodbyes and be right out to the car. He came and apologized and said she has been this way since she started
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 17
    teaching. He even said she won't let him call her Beth. Were we wrong? If knew it before we would have reminded everyone.
    via u/IMVenting66
  • 18
    Atlanta Dave998 • 7h ago she won't let him call her Beth NTA. She sounds crazy.
    via u/AtlantaDave998
  • 19
    NYCStoryteller ⚫ 6h ago NTA. Family functions aren't a professional space, so there's no reason to use professional etiquette. It's appropriate to call her Dr.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 20
    Jones at the library or if you take her course, but not around the family dinner table or holiday gathering. She's weird.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 21
    RJack151 6h ago NTA. Every time I am around her I would ask: What's up Doc?
    via u/RJack151
  • 22
    HCIBSW 7h ago She wants to be called by her professional name in a non professional setting, that doctorate made her head too big. NTA
    via u/HCIBSW
  • 23
    taewongun 1895 • 6h ago She sounds insufferable. I know tons of people with doctorates. They only ask to be called doctor (or professor) in the workplace.
    via u/taewongun1895

Tags

family drama drama siblings family feud relationships wedding lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny money dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article