32-year-old professor gets asked by 24-year-old student, Carey, to attend her graduation, his wife refuses to let him go: “I was kind of excited when Carey asked”

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 11, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Jealousy is like an abrupt plunge into ice cold water, like glacier level cold. It's like your stomach is suddenly filled with an empty hole, a vacuum, where nothing exists there anymore. You suffocate on your own fear, shock, intuition, and gut feeling. Like an invisible hand is strangling you and you are so affected so viscerally that you can't even speak, you lack the power and the words to engage, to properly digest the situation. It starts with the silence of your mouth, the breathlessness of your lungs, the emptiness of your stomach, and it trickles down your whole body, until you're left completely sedated, saddened, and staid. 

 You always hear people say, "I'm not a jealous person." We don't view any other emotion under this lens. If someone feels upset or angry in a moment, you don't catch them trying to defend themselves and saying, "I'm not an angry person!" Every other emotion is ephemeral, except for jealousy. It becomes a person's being. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for attending my student’s graduation ceremony even though my wife told me it made her uncomfortable?

    Cheezburger Image 10527639040
    via studioroman / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I've (32M) been working at a small architecture firm for about 7 years now and last summer, we hired a student intern named Carey (24F) who was interested in our work.
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483

  • Jealousy is one of the worst feelings in the world. Some people are naturally more jealous of others, and sometimes those people have good reason to be. I think there should be a little less shame put on the feeling.

  • 03
    She got along with everyone at the office and it was kind of refreshing to have some younger energy around since everyone else is around 40-45. It wasn't the
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 04
    first time we took on summer interns, but Carey was very motivated and decided to stay part-time even during the school
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 05
    year. So basically, Carey's been helping me with whatever project I've been working on for the past year.
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 06
    Fast forward a few months, I got an offer to teach a small architecture class at my local university. I've always wanted to stay close to academia and give
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 07
    back to the program that trained me. Coincidentally, Carey was in that class. The semester went very well and I tried to make the classes as interesting as possible. I
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 08
    treated her like any other student, but it was particularly fun showing her how to apply the content from class to real-life work back at the office.
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 09
    When the semester ended, Carey messaged me to ask if I could participate in a graduation tradition called the 'tools handing' ceremony. It's not a big deal, but
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 10
    it's an event at our university where the student would select someone whom they see as a mentor to hand them a symbolic set of drafting tools during
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 11
    graduation. I was extremely honored to be asked and accepted pretty quickly.
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10527639552
    via studioroman / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    However, when I told my wife (32F) about it that night, she felt uncomfortable that some random girl was asking me to be her mentor, especially when no one
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 14
    else in my class did. She thought it was weird because it felt too personal. I don't want to make my wife uncomfortable with the situation, but I was kind of excited
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 15
    when Carey asked me. I tried explaining to my wife what the ceremony was about and that it wasn't a big deal, but even after two weeks, she still didn't want
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 16
    me to do it. I don't want to hurt my wife's feelings, but I also didn't want to turn down a student who seems to value my mentorship. AITAH for still wanting to go?
    via u/OrdinaryRadio483
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10527639296
    via Liliboas from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    Dull-Bread-4912 • 21h ago Take your wife with you.
    via u/Dull-Bread-4912
  • 19
    star_b_nettor • 21h ago Have your wife go with you. She being insecure, but you and Carey shouldn't have to miss out on a graduation
    via u/star_b_nettor
  • 20
    activity because your wife is insecure. This isn't a date or an after hours dinner meeting "for work" or anything like that. It's a
    via u/star_b_nettor
  • 21
    school sanctioned graduation and mentor ceremony.
    via u/star_b_nettor
  • 22
    aj_alva 21h ago Info: Being that you attended the same school, who did you have for your tools- handing-ceremony-person?
    via u/aj_alva
  • 23
    Can you have literally anyone explain this tradition to her so you aren't risking your marriage, or your position as a mentor in your line of work?
    via u/aj_alva

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