16-year-old tells her mom she makes her feel like an orphan because she constantly favors her 8-year-old stepdaughter: 'I lost dad and then I lost her to her stepdaughter'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 11, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

We're all familiar with the tale of Cinderella and her stepfamily. Once her dad passed away, her life was overtaken by the tyranny of a woman who had no interest in taking on a genuine parental role in her stepdaughter's life. Stories like this can give stepmothers a bad rep for little kids who have only heard of such a title in fairy tales, but most stepmothers are not comically evil towards their stepchildren. Their stepchildren may not like them and what they represent, but it's usually more complicated than Cinderella. 

Some women thrive more in the role of stepmother than they do in the role of mother, much to the detriment of their children. It might be hard to believe that a stepmother would favor her stepchild over the child she gave birth to, but stranger things have happened. Some widows take their grief out on the kid they had with their late partner. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my mom she makes me feel like I'm an orphan?

    I (16f) lost my dad when I was 5, on the first day of kindergarten actually. He was in an accident on his way to pick me up. For a few years after that it was just me and mom and I'd say she did pretty okay with helping me after dad d d. There were times where she
    via u/UpsetTurnover6015
  • 02
    felt a bit distant and she told me at one point she felt really lonely. But I wouldn't say she had been a bad mom. I know she was grieving too.
    via u/UpsetTurnover6015
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10528042752
    via Claudia Wolff

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The mom in this story is one of those moms. She wanted to take on a strong maternal role in her stepdaughter's life because she lost her mother. While the intent was admirable, she ended up casting her daughter aside, leaving her with no strong parental figure in her life.

  • 04
    I was 10 when my mom remarried. Her husband had a 2 year old daughter and at the time he had primary custody of her that became sole custody about 18 months after that. Once her mom lost all visitation and access to her my mom decided she
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  • 05
    needed to step up and make sure she had a mom and wasn't a motherless child the rest of her life. But with this effort to make sure her stepdaughter had a mom, she pushed me aside and ignored me.
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  • 06
    She was always with her stepdaughter and was always fussing over her and babying her and making sure she got her 24/7 attention. Nothing was too much for her in my mom's eyes and it came at my expense a lot. My mom didn't show up to meetings my school tried to schedule, she did nothing for any of my birthdays, we no longer had time
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  • 07
    alone where we could do stuff together and if me and her stepdaughter had conflicting commitments then mom always went to hers no matter what and at times made me miss commitments I had because she wasn't going to pull time from her stepdaughter to take me to mine or help me find a way there with someone else.
    via u/UpsetTurnover6015
  • 08
    The best example of this is her stepdaughter's in ballet and I'm in art classes. We had an exhibit and three of my drawings were being shown while her stepdaughter had a recital. My mom chose the recital and didn't even find a way to get me to the exhibit and I was
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  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10528043008
    via Kazuo ota

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    punished for not showing up and my art was passed over the next time and my art teacher was so mad that I switched to different classes that are basically just draw and paint and leave. There's no real aim for them.
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  • 11
    My mom's husband spends time with his daughter twice a week and mom and I could have up to 10 hours between those two days where we could hang out. But she won't. I have asked her and she told me it would make her stepdaughter feel jealous and insecure and she doesn't want her to feel like she favors me.
    via u/UpsetTurnover6015
  • 12
    About three years ago I asked mom for help with a school issue and she asked me why I didn't ask my dad. I got so mad at her that I stormed off because either she forgot dad's de d or she meant her husband which is even worse honestly.
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  • 13
    I talk to my grandparents, my aunt and my uncle on the phone regularly. They're my dad's family. They live like 15-20 hours from us so I don't get to see them a ton. But they're really my only support because mom's family are all cold as ice and don't give a cr p.
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  • 14
    Last week my mom asked me to babysit so she could have a night out with her husband and I got upset/mad and told her no way. Mom asked why the tears and why was I refusing instead of negotiating. I told her I wasn't. going to do anything for her. We started to fight and mom was all like "what's with the attitude and I'm your mom" about it.
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  • 15
    I told her she makes me feel like an orphan. I lost dad and then I lost her to her stepdaughter because she chose to only care about her stepdaughter's feelings. I told her I don't have a mom. I don't have someone I can go to if I need help. She always sends me away. And I brought up
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  • 16
    her insensitive comment three years ago and said stuff like it just makes me feel more like an orphan who lives with a foster family and gets ignored. She told me she doesn't have the ability to make me feel like an orphan and it's an ugly thing to say when she's still alive. I told her she'll
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  • 17
    never pick me over her stepdaughter or even pick me when her stepdaughter's doing other stuff. It's always about how she'd feel and if she'd get jealous or feel like she's less favored than me.
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  • 18
    We just kept arguing and mom told me I had an ugly and selfish view of everything. After that mom has ignored me and she's on edge when I'm near her now because I wouldn't talk to her husband. AITA?
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  • 19
    Cheezburger Image 10528039424
    via Frank Flores (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 20
    littlespoongirlx you're not the a_h_le. your mom pushed you aside to focus on her stepdaughter and ignored your needs. it's okay to feel hurt,you just want love and support. your feelings are valid.
    via u/littlespoongirlx
  • 21
    Slow-Title7424 This. Kids know when they're not being chosen. It's not about jealousy, it's about not being seen or supported.
    via u/Slow-Title7424
  • 22
    UpsetTurnover6015 OP Thank you. I really wish she could've made some time for me. But I'll get through it.
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  • 23
    Enough Mode2210 NTA You're not selfish or ugly for expressing how neglected you feel. You're grieving the loss of your dad and the emotional loss of your mom's attention. It's deeply painful to feel replaced and ignored by the only parent you have left. Her dismissing your feelings and prioritizing her stepdaughter without maintaining a bond with you is damaging. You're allowed to feel hurt and speak up about it.
    via u/Enough_Mode2210
  • 24
    Upset Turnover6015 OP It always hurt so bad and now it still hurts but it makes me so angry at her too. There are so many times she could've put some effort into our relationship and she wouldn't.
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  • 25
    winterworld561 NTA at all. She has massively failed you. Can you go and live with your dads family? Your mother clearly doesn't give a sh. Get away from her and go no contact as soon as you are able. She likely won't even notice.
    via u/winterworld561
  • 26
    Upset Turnover6015 OP It's not that easy because they're in another state. If they lived close enough for me to walk and not so far that it would be a big deal I could. But the way things are now mom could decide to be petty and accuse them of kidnapping me. With how angry she is at me I could see it happening.
    via u/UpsetTurnover6015
  • 27
    Jolly JeanGiant83 I just want to chime in that not only is your mom terrible, but it really s ks that your former art teacher punished you for things completely outside of your control. You are a child, at that point you were unable to manage your own transport, that was not your fault, NTA. Might be worth discussing that with the school administration, if you think you can.
    via u/JollyJeanGiant83

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Tags

family drama step sister stepmother orphan mother stepfather stepmom widow dad family stepdad stepsister little sister daughter mom Father teenagers
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