Fiancée with 30 million in trust funds demands half her partner’s modest 100K through a one-sided prenup that keeps all her riches untouched: ‘They say this is “standard,” but nothing about our situation feels standard’

If you want a pulse check (and definitely NOT an open cheque) on the cracks of modern romance, just suggest a prenup.

Preferably, one drafted by a battalion of lawyers employed by someone else's parents. When one partner is lounging on a thirty-million-dollar pillow and the other is balancing a checking account that squeaks at the sight of overdraft fees, the notion of splitting anything starts to feel like finance-themed performance art.  

Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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  • In this episode the man with less than one hundred grand is told that fairness requires surrendering half of his modest pile in the event of romantic collapse, even though he owns no slice of the eleven million dollar mansion, no fingerprint on the luxury cars, and exactly zero say in how the trust fund dividends flutter about the estate. The family labels this arrangement standard, the way a casino calls its roulette wheel fair.  

  • AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K?

    "To me, marriage is about building a future together, not feeling like a guest" Prenuptial Agreem hereinafter referred hereinafter referred to in the year as follows
    via SHOTPRIME/zimmytws

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • I (male) am getting married in two months to my fiancée (female). She comes from a very wealthy family and has multiple trust funds totaling around $30M. She owns the $11M home we live in outright and earns $500K+/year in passive income (dividends, distributions, etc.).
    via qsforresdit
  • She does not work and doesn't plan to. I, on the other hand, work full-time, earn around $200K/year, and have less than $100K in net worth. I don't own any property or equity outside of a small stake in my startup.
    via qsforresdit
  • Cheezburger Image 10529302016
    via SHOTPRIME

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • In the past, I have covered $5K/month in our shared - expenses things like groceries, meals, and transportation and am open to doing something like this in marriage.
    via qsforresdit
  • Her family has retained a top law firm, to draft the prenup. They are proposing that, in the event of a divorce, she would be entitled to half of my net worth, even considering:
    via qsforresdit
  • Prenuptial Agreement hereinafter referred to as Prospective Husband, and as follows: hereinafter referred to as Prospective Wife, hereby agree on this day of in the year near future and wish to property
    via zimmytws

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • I would own no equity in the homes, cars, or any large lifestyle assets. I'm coming in with very little and trying to build up from there.
    via qsforresdit
  • They say this is "standard," but nothing about our situation feels standard. I've proposed something I believe is far more fair:
    via qsforresdit
  • We each keep what we bring into the marriage. Trusts and premarital assets stay separate, including any growth.
    via qsforresdit
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  • We contribute to a shared fund (proportional or equal, TBD) for things like food, shared travel (so long as it's not outrageously expensive), childcare, etc.
    via qsforresdit

  • He counters with the radical idea that each person keep what they bring, contribute proportionally to groceries and childcare, and part ways cleanly if bliss turns sour. This proposal is greeted with sighs about greed and murmurs about funded lifestyles, because nothing screams generosity like a billionaire dynasty hunting pocket change from the salaried spouse.  

  • No alimony or lump sums if we split, we simply part with what we earned.
    via qsforresdit
  • Possibly a clause where, if I ever reach a certain level of wealth (say, $10M+), she'd be entitled to a capped portion (e.g. 35% of anything above that amount) - though even that is starting to feel unfair.
    via qsforresdit
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  • She believes that because she is "funding our lifestyle," staying home with future children, and providing a standard of living I couldn't afford on my own, she is owed something back in the event of a divorce.
    via qsforresdit
  • But I won't own the home. I can't make financial decisions. I'm not building equity. It feels like I'm living in a world someone else built and still being asked to pay - for it later - like something is owed.
    via qsforresdit
  • To me, marriage is about building a future together - not feeling like a guest.
    via qsforresdit
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  • AITA for feeling like this prenup is completely one-sided and for pushing for more autonomy and clarity around shared expenses, instead of just accepting what her family thinks is "standard"?
    via qsforresdit
  • EDIT* (see my identical comment below to opine) - Ok. Millions have viewed this. Although there is nuance in our relationship that no one knows, this does seem to me to be a breaking point.
    via qsforresdit
  • REGARDLESS of if/when the prenup states all assets are separate and she gets nothing, she FEELS entitled to my money in the event of a divorce because she is "funding the lifestyle" (with kids or without) - and this was confirmed a matter of minutes ago.
    via qsforresdit
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  • She says I'm crazy for not seeing it her way and she thinks I am acting mentally ill. I told her I can't enter a marriage with someone who feels that way. She wants me to move out Monday and says that this is my fault and that I (meaning OP) am deciding to do this to her/us.
    via qsforresdit
  • EDIT - she has agreed to remove the clause that says I'll owe her anything. all assets will be separate, including my earned income. I'm waiting to be relieved until I see it in writing.
    via qsforresdit
  • Edit - BOTTOM LINE is that she feels because she is "funding my (luxurious) lifestyle" she is owed my money AND I'm grappling with the validity of this and the fact that she says I'm the greedy one (especially if I "hit it big" ALTHOUGH
    via qsforresdit
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  • in principle she's said regardless she feels entitled to half but the below concession I considered she says would be generous of her).
    via qsforresdit
  • Edit - this is getting a lot of responses. I have contacted a lawyer who is very expensive (yes, worth it). I am meeting with him again in about 10 days. I have still not received the prenup.
    via qsforresdit
  • This is not fake. IDGAF about karma. Imagine if you were in my position, you'd want to know if you were crazy but asking friends etc. isn't ideal.
    via qsforresdit
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