'[I'm] running out of patience about his trauma': First-time dog owner struggles to manage his rescue puppy's anxiety, until a veterinary behaviorist steps in with real answers you should know

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Aug 9, 2026 12:15 PM EDT

Loving a pet is a tough job sometimes.

To be completely honest, I don't know what I would've done if my cat turned out to be an extremely anxious animal. And I don't mean just some splash of skittishness; I mean a clinical anxiety disorder. Because having an anxious pet is definitely not fun and games, even if you love your pet like nothing else. But again, talking from my lack of personal experience with this specific experience, I still believe in all of my heart that no matter how anxious an animal is - every one of them deserves love, care, and a forever home.

But luckily for many pet owners with zero experience in the matter, like this first-time dog owner, who asked the online canine community, "Is this forever?" regarding his new puppy's perpetual anxiety symptoms - a professional veterinary behaviorist and certified dog behavior consultant chimed in on the conversation he started. And I'm very surprised by her optimism. But then again, I'm not a vet, never worked in a vet clinic, or had any professional knowledge about animals (besides loving them so much that I literally work on this very website).

When a professional gives their input in such a methodical and optimistic way, anyone would be calmer. And the online canine community is full of those who do exactly that, and that's a great thing. Just think of all the dog people out there, professional or not, who are always at the ready to give help to other dog people. And as an online, worldwide community, it makes us luckier than most. Help is always on the way - both for the people and their dogs. Now, I'm a cat owner, not a dog one, but the feeling is definitely similar.

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    Hi, This is my first time sharing my space with a dog so I'm just not sure what's normal. I had zero plans of adopting Duke but I heard a sob story of how he had been returned to shelters twice, and given to kids that were too young to know a puppy is fragile, then he got attacked by another animal. Long,
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  • 03
    looong story short, I felt so bad for him so I brought him home. He does have baseline ataxia in all four limbs but he's able to run and walk independently.
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    When I brought him home he was just shy of a year old. It was a rough start but over about a month we perfected sit, stay, shake and come here. It took about another month and a half to fully potty train. This was all November 2025.
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    Firstly, he's a little skinny and small for his age and breed but the vet says there's nothing really wrong with him that can be fixed, and being on the thinner side is likely better for his joints because he has those baseline gait issues.
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  • No matter the situation, just from this one picture, I can clearly see this dog seeks nothing but love and acceptance. Seeing a puppy so close to the family cat is a rare sight - it's a dog who just wants the proximity of another creature for comfort. And you know what? He deserves it all. Despite everything, he sounds like the sweetest little boy, and I honestly hope the advice given down here will be implemented by his human.

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    What's really frustrating me lately is I guess running out of patience about his trauma.
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    -If I get up too fast, river -If I walk too close to the door and it's not walk time, ris river -If it IS walk time and I take too long putting on the s river leash,
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    -If I have to load him in the car, s river, and he tries to bite me -If I call him over to the living room too loudly, is river
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    -If I think he looks cute enough to eat and I reach to pick him up too fast river, if I gently pet him and turn him over before picking up, he still dribbles all over his main bed
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    -If I have manly needs that I want to take care of in private and close my bedroom door, when I come out it's river by way of mountain.
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    -If I close his kennel door too fast when I'm leaving for work, river.
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    I don't want him to be even more fearful so when he does it I just sternly say "OUTSIDE", and he walks to the back door.
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    Which is a whole other topic, I'm literally landscaping and spending a fortune on insulated dog houses and fans and umbrellas and he will not stop hiding in a bush.
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    I try my best to extend walks to make sure he's empty, I really don't want to restrict water but at almost a year out I don't know what to do... it's just getting to be really annoying. He's a huge
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    cuddle bug and gives tons of kissies when HE initiates, he's never aggressive with any adults when they pet him or pick him up, but he does. snap when kids approach. So
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    I don't know how to interpret if he's just back and forth on his trust.. I don't know enough about dog behavior,
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    I hope someone will know what's causing this or how to manage.. like the title says is this forever, just living with trauma? I looked into diapers but the vet warned me about UTI, should I still try?
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    mothmanoamano Veterinary behaviorist and certified dog behavior consultant skip spending money on insulated dog houses and hire professional help instead. All of this sounds like stuff that can absolutely be helped if you address it sooner rather than later.
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    If the peeing is physiological, no amount of training will fix it. Definitely rule out UTI. If it's behavioral, it's probably out of fear/anxiety make sure you choose a trainer who uses gentle, non-confrontational methods and builds skills,
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    confidence, and agency positively. Shake cans, chain bags, spray bottles, leash corrections, and shock collars have a high risk of increasing his anxiety and fear.
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    I would also consider discussing behavioral meds with a vet behaviorist. The right meds can help calm his nervous system and allow the training to be more effective. It could also help him get through adolescence with less impact from his anxiety.
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    You're doing great - this is a lot, but it's definitely not hopeless and doesn't have to be forever. Just don't wait it out thinking he will grow out of it!
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    Prestigious-Doubt181 Thank you for specifying what type of trainer to use. Please always advocate for behaviorists and positive reinforcement rather than fear based training. Too many dogs deserve much better than the emotional and physical ab e of archaic training methods.
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    mothmanoamano Could not agree more. All dogs deserve better.
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dog person wholesome behavior dogs heartwarming puppy veterinarian advice vet anxiety
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