‘I feel like I have no peace in my own home’: Host refuses to accommodate freeloading friend who arrives for a 13-day visit, demanding airport pickup, daily rides, free meals, and control of every shared space

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jul 18, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Some houseguests arrive with flowers, others with a suitcase of demands. The childhood pal of a brand-new driver lands firmly in the second group. Twelve months of warning produced zero planning, so when the pal shows up the same week the homeowner's mother faces risky surgery, chaos moves in. The friend insists on free airport pickup, a four-hour round trip through traffic, then claims the living room as personal theater, volume maxed.

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  • Gas money never appears, gratitude hides, dirty dishes multiply. Daily sightseeing is expected, yet the visitor will not touch a steering wheel despite years of driving back home trumpeted online. The spouse, licensed only thirty shaky days, is shoved behind the wheel while the anxious partner juggles work calls and hospital forms. Meals vanish into the guest’s stomach, locals receive lectures on their own politics, and the bathroom becomes a day spa.

  • Whew boy, I had no idea people could be this unaware. My spouse's childhood friend announced a year ago that they were coming to our country and intended to stay with us.
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  • Spouse's entitled friend insists on staying with us and being chauffeured around everywhete

    "I had no idea people could be this unaware"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We tentatively said OK. Recently, we found out that my mother requires a significant medical procedure, will be hospitalized for a few days to a week and recovering with us after (the three of us live together as roommates with bills split equally, essentially).
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  • This procedure falls smack dab into the middle of spouse's friend's trip. I told my spouse to tell their friend about the circumstances and that this would severely impact any sightseeing plans we had
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • and I would be out for the duration of the trip between work and taking care of my mom. My spouse's friend, despite driving for many years in their home country, did not want to drive while here and expected us to ferry them around.
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  • I had hoped that, like most normal people, the friend would pick up on the fact that this is not a good time. to visit us and make alternate arrangements (i.e. drive a car), but instead they said "well, as long as I get to see X while here, I'm fine."
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I should probably explain that my spouse is a VERY new driver and just got their license a month ago and has little experience driving freeways. They were/still are terrified of these. I do most of the driving as a result while they are getting comfortable.
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  • Said friend arrived on Monday and - since then: Expected to be picked up from the airport (a 2 hour drive each way) and spouse, the new driver, had to drive in horrific traffic to get them (I was busy with appointments for my mom and work).
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  • - Did not offer gas money to my spouse. for driving all that way to get them - Expects to be driven to sightsee each day, again, never offers gas money or pays for anything - When in our house, has the TV up loud in the one room I enjoy hanging out in (outside of our bedroom).
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  • - Doesn't pick up after themselves - Has not offered to pay for a single meal - Does not even pay for their own meals or drinks, save for one meal, so now we're paying to feed another adult. Should also mention that this friend has money, so it is not even a case of not having money.
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  • - When taken to sightsee, never says. thank you and even complained about one place my spouse took them to - Takes long showers without even asking if we need the bathroom before - Does not offer to help with anything in the house.
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  • - Refuses to arrange for their own sightseeing and is entirely dependent on my spouse (who I'd like to have around to support me during this stressful time, but do not want to be around the friend so therefore I don't get my spouse).
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  •  Peaceful corners disappear; the guest room turns into an office, the den into a private cinema, anxiety into a permanent resident. Thirteen days stretch ahead like a prison sentence, each mile of free taxi service pulling the couple further apart. After a long silence and a flood of blunt advice, the partner clocks the obvious moral: generosity without limits attracts parasites. A firm plan forms. Future visits will come with hotel links, rental car links, and boundaries strong enough to lock entitled tourists out before they lock sanity in.

  • - Lectures my spouse on the politics and social norms of our country, despite the fact that my spouse has lived here for 4 years and knows more than said. friend does - Friend is a total social drain to be around and only wants to talk about themselves and their thoughts/complaints.
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  • - Friend has not once said thank you to us for hosting or driving or paying for their meals - Friend is staying for 13 days total, all with us, all with the expectation of us driving them.
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  • I have social anxiety (spouse knows this) and have had to give up my two favorite spaces in the whole house so the friend has a place to sleep and a place to hang out when they're not in the bedroom.
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  • I work from home and had to relocate my work set-up (previously in the guest room) to another part of the house which was and is a major inconvenience as work is crazy right now and I'm having to balance taking care of my mom with that.
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  • The last 6 days have been hl and I feel like I have no peace in my own home, especially after a long day of having to be social while working and then having to continue that because of this houseguest.
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  • The next 6 days will also be h I as this friend simply will not take a hint and I've got the stress of dealing with my parent who is having a procedure that has a 10% fatality rate and given her health conditions, complications could happen.
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  • Of course, knowing this friend, they probably would not take a hint then either and would probably still expect my spouse to drive them places. As it is, my spouse asked if they and the friend should come up to the hospital to visit my mom, to switch I said my spouse should, but not if the friend is going to be clinging to them like a sad puppy.
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  • I have talked to my spouse and they agree that the friend is a drain, they're not happy either, but they are trying to stick it out until the friend leaves and have already said the friend will not be allowed to stay here again.
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  • It is clear to me that the friend is massively taking advantage of my spouse and I hate to see it. I'm just flabbergasted that people like this even exist as every other houseguest we've ever had has been considerate, occupies themselves, arranges for their own transportation, and genuinely seems to care about our lives as we care about theirs.
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  • This friend is one of the most entitled people I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.
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  • Edit: just want to clarify a few things. 1) I am not paying for anything for the friend, I put my foot down, my spouse is paying from his own funds 2) I told my spouse that I thought their friend should make an alternate arrangement after I found out about my mom's procedure,
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  • and that I was in no place mentally or emotionally to have someone staying with us 3) I told my spouse that at the very least, friend needs to drive themselves, not put all that burden on spouse, and I really need my spouse to be there to support me at the hospital.
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  • I did try to cancel this friend coming here, but it fell on deaf ears.
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  • Edit 2: thank you everyone for your responses and tough love. It gave me the courage to finally stand up for myself in this situation rather than just shutting up and taking it.
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  • My spouse now better understands how they screwed up and how to fix it. We have a plan to move forward. Things aren't perfect, but I feel more optimistic. There will be an update post, probably tomorrow, of what happened and the fallout.
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friendship guests bad friend living with friends best friends friends public school 20-year-old private school friend mean girls housemate host renting roommates apartment
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