HR employee confides in boss about salary dissatisfaction, finds out she documented their conversations: 'The stuff she wrote? Some of it isn’t even what I said'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 15, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

A lesson that almost all employees have to learn at some point is that the majority of the time, your boss doesn't want to be your friend. Even if they are the type to cozy up to their coworkers and organize endless teambuilding activities, the quarterly targets and company interests are almost always going to take precedence over worker well-being.

Nonetheless, it can be understandable to want to build a relationship with a manager and maybe even be a little vulnerable at times. After all, it is still within their interests for you to feel reasonably happy in the workplace, and address complaints and concerns when they arise. 

Unfortunately, though, this often has to be done tactically. Otherwise, employees can find themselves in situations that are not going to turn out in their favor, only adding to the stress that comes from navigating the complicated and two-faced world of office politics.

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  • 01

    Thought I could trust my boss, turns out she was documenting our convos behind my back!

    I work in HR for a small company (yes, I know, f HR, and I agree, which is why I'm pivoting to employment law so I can fight for employees, not against them). I took this job as a step down from a higher-level role so I could focus on studying for the law school entrance exam. I knew the company was a bit chaotic, founder run, no clear direction, constantly shifting priorities, but I thought my boss (the HR Director) and I were at least on the same page. We'd vent together all the time about how
    via LawThrowaway444
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10529805568
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One HR employee found this out the hard way after she realized that the head of her department had recorded conversations between the two of them that she had believed to be private. She had spoken to her about the dissatisfaction she and her colleagues had with what they were getting paid and the lack of staff.

    She then came across a document on her boss's OneDrive that had her name on it, including condescending comments and things she hadn't said. She shared her story.

  • 03
    Then the other day, I found a document on her OneDrive with my name on it, a private note about me. She's been keeping a record of our conversations, specifically the ones where I brought up salary inequity within the company. I'm severely underpaid and we are understaffed. (I've talked to her three times about this). And the stuff she wrote? Some of it isn't even what I said. Other parts are so belittling and condescending. It felt like reading gossip about myself from someone I thought had my
    via LawThrowaway444
  • 04
    She was smiling in my face while documenting me like a problem employee. I'm a millennial on the cusp of Gen Z, and I've always wanted to break the toxic stigma around HR. My goal was to make employees feel safe, heard, and respected. And now I realize I'm working under someone who's everything I don't want to be. You can't reform HR. I'm not going to tell her I know about the note. I'm already aggressively job hunting and I can't wait to hit her with a resignation email out of nowhere.
    via LawThrowaway444
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10529805824
    via Jozsef Hocza
  • 06

    Other people saw this as a valuable lesson.

    Cultural_Magician105 This person is the HR director for a reason, they usually company narcs are
    via Cultural_Magician105
  • 07
    monoclock 127 First thing I learned at work. Never trust anyone. I had friends, good relationships with my colleagues but I was always aware that they were coworkers.
    via monoclock127
  • 08
    theJesus3000 Delete the file and format her pc
    via theJesus3000
  • 09
    LawThrowaway444 OP Lol, I seriously thought about doing this for a split second
    via LawThrowaway444
  • 10
    No-Adeptness-3940 I know you were joking, but for anyone ever considering this, trying to delete the file or wiping the drive probably would not have worked anyway. System backups are likely automated and there already are images of the documents on a backup server.
    via No-Adeptness-3940
  • 11
    jonny_vegas Make sure when you find the new job and leave, tell her you read that file and and call her a backstabbing c*nt in front of many other employees.
    via jonny_vegas
  • 12
    becks_24 I like that you're pivoting into employment law to be on the side of the EEs. I started my payroll certification, but employment law might be better. HR reps are the biggest bu ies.
    via becks_24
  • 13
    Aethelete Congratulations, you've had a very clear education on the role of HR within a company. They technically represent the 'best interests' of business continuity. They officially report to the CEO, but sometimes the board will step in over that when there are changes to senior executives. It sounds like the biggest question for you will be how to balance the survival of a company, economically, culturally, etc, working with staff rights and expectations, and commercial reality.
    via Aethelete
  • 14
    cryssHappy Get a copy of that in case you need it before the labor board. Have a summary of what you really discussed. Stop discussing any of this and start the ... I'm so glad I have this job. I appreciate this job crapola. When you get the new job. You get to leave with no notice. Do make sure you have minimal stuff in your cube/office. Start taking PTO for medical appointments.
    via cryssHappy
  • 15
    Mad-Dog20-20 Never trust HR to have your back
    via Mad-Dog20-20
  • 16
    EchoEquani I had said this before never trust your coworkers or your boss. They smile in your face and act like they are your friends, but they are literally waiting for you to screw up and wait for the day to get your job or fire you. Whenever you vent about work to anyone guaranteed, someones going to rat you out and throw you under the bus even if they agree with you, they want them brownie points and they want to look good to the boss to get your job or a promotion. The best thing to do is i
    via EchoEquani
  • 17
    CyberMonkey1976 Im not in HR, absolutely love my boss, but I do keep notes on all our conversations. It's a reminder for what we've committed to and documentation for me just in case. I've had to refer back quite a few times to ensure clarity in what I committed to do.
    via CyberMonkey1976
  • 18
    Adorable-Raisin-8643 Coworkers and bosses are never ever EVER your friends. Next job it would do you well to remember this.
    via Adorable-Raisin-8643
  • 19
    WorldlinessProud You work in HR, and aren't documenting everything?
    via WorldlinessProud
  • 20
    Larry Bonds30 Unless you were long time friends with someone prior to working with them, you do not have friends at work. Just people you get along with on some days. There are 0 people who will fall on the sword for you. Had an old boss of a boss straight up tell me one time that if its between my money and your money that hes choosing his money every time. I actually respected that.
    via LarryBonds30
  • 21
    D1xieDie What you need to do is replace the text with gibberish and then open the document in windows notepad and delete small chunks across the strings of characters to corrupt it. the autorecovery system will only recover it to gibberish stage as a one drive word doc isn't versioned if you chunk the data like that
    via D1xieDie
  • 22
    brookssofia And this is why no one trusts HR. You tried to be one of the good ones, and they still treated you like a threat. Good on you for switching sides employees need people like you.
    via br00kssofia
  • 23
    vampirelibrarian Why would you be surprised that your boss took notes on conversations you had with her? I think the more worrying thing is she left her private docs apparently where others can find them
    via vampirelibrarian

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hr work workplace boss antiwork employee manager reddit story Horrible Bosses reddit thread Reddit
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