Mom kicks out 18-year-old and sends her back to home country, demands $11k to pay back rent and grocery costs: 'The income I was getting wasn't enough to cover rent'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 17, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

In a just world, when somebody becomes a parent, they should always be conscious of the fact that they are now fully responsible for another person until they become an adult. Many would argue that certain responsibilities carry on for the rest of your life. It is an experience that most people can agree requires a certain level of selflessness.

As we all know, things do not always work out that way. Plenty of moms and dads are not present in the way that they need to be, or abruptly turn on their kids as they get older and more independent. 

As a young person, it can be a deeply stressful thing to deal with, and it can sometimes leave them feeling like they have done something wrong when that isn't the case. The idea that a child 'owes' a parent is a controversial concept at any stage of their childhood or adulthood.

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to pay my mum back $11k after being kicked out of home?

    A year ago I got kicked out of home, not just kicked out, but sent to live in another country. My family and I had moved from Australia to New Zealand 10 months prior, and my mum sent me back to Australia 8 days after my 18th birthday. My three sisters still live with her, even my big sister who is 21 now. To start with, she was paying my rent and groceries while I organized a form of income, she did not at all say I'd have to pay her back. When I finally did get income, (government payments) sh
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One teenager found herself dealing with this issue after her mom insisted that she pay her $11,000 to cover the groceries and rent she paid for after she kicked her daughter out and sent her to live in another country. She initially agreed to pay for this as her daughter found a source of income.

    The 18-year-old refused this after her grandma came to her asking her to sign some paperwork that stated she did not have the mental capacity to manage her own money. This led her mom and grandma to cut contact with her, as well as any remaining funds. She wanted to know if she had done something wrong.

  • 03
    She got my grandma to come to me so that I could sign some paperwork that would basically say I'm in no mental state to take care of my own money. When I refused, she cut all payments altogether, the income | was getting wasn't enough to even cover rent, let alone groceries. My mum and grandma said it would be my own fault if I went homeless, and stopped talking to me altogether. I managed to get a job and now after ages of silence they're coming back to me asking for me to pay them the money th
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    Commenters sympathized with her difficult situation.

    bythebrook88 so that I could sign some paperwork that would basically say I'm in no mental state to take care of my own money If OP is not able to manage their money, then they aren't capable of signing a form stating that!
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    Parking_Doughnut_470 OP Exactly! I think they were mostly just thinking that since I don't know a whole lot about the legal side of things, I would just accept what they were saying as fact. They didn't tell me what the paperwork was, I looked into it myself after they left.
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  • 07
    Aggravating-Pie-5565 I would literally reply every time they contact with "who is this? My mother? No that can't be right? Parents don't abandon and then extort their children. I don't know who you are? Please don't contact me again."
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  • 08
    Ready Willingness_82 Wow. At 18 you were legally an adult and your mother had no legal right to "send" you overseas. But you're here now, and thankfully you're separated from these arseholes by the Tasman Sea. Welcome to the rest of your life, and it's going to be amazing! Given that in your mother's mind she was sending her child to live in a foreign country, it was absolutely her responsibility to financially support you. Don't even think about giving her or your grandmother any money. Your mo
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  • 09
    Extension_Visit_1379 NTA, tell your mother to kick rocks. Go NC and live a better life without them. They threw you away, you owe them nothing.
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  • 10
    bino0526 BLOCK THEM and go FULL NC!!!! You don't owe them if it was not given as a loan. They have shown you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!!!!!! Move forward, and don't look back at them. Find out if there are organizations in your city that help displaced teens. Take care, sweetheart. Sending BIG HUGS
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  • 11
    SampsonShrill I don't even understand what they are asking for but no, you don't have to give them money,
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    applesauce16 In my opinion I'd say your NTA because obviously if your getting government income it's to help you get on your feet not give it all to her, your mom didn't specifically ask you to pay anything back so it seems a bit ridiculous to me for her to randomly ask for it all back and then take away your income when you don't want to give it because your using that to support yourself. Obviously that doesn't make the situation any better since neither of you can get any income that way. Tho
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  • 13
    igramigru101 Leeches don't need a valid understandable reason to ask/demand for money/favors. Especially if they come from a place of authority, like mother and grandmother. OP was obviously obedient child before and they expect him to continue to fulfill their demands. OP, just say NO! Don't argue with them. You may go low contact or no contact, up to you. But when they start bothering, just say no. No. No. No other words. Anything else will just give them ammo. And no explanation why NO.
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  • 14
    Sea-Check-9062 You don't need them in your life. You have proved that already. Put your energy into building your career and finding friends. You owe them nothing. They have no legal claim.
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  • 15
    jinxdeluxe The paperwork thing is a huge red flag going way over 'controlling'. I would think they are hiding something from you. Any inheritance on the way to you?
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  • 16
    295Phoenix NTA Tell them to go f themselves and go no contact.
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    Capable-Limit5249 You're a dependent until age 18, right? Or 21? In which case you owe her absolutely nothing. She birthed you, she owed you. You don't owe her. NTA.
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  • 18
    Flashy_blue-eyes OMG they are horrible. You most definitely are not the AH and you don't owe them squat. I couldn't even imagine treating any of my kids like this. If I were you I'd block them on everything and cut contact completely. You don't need that toxicity in your life. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and I seriously hope you do not give them a cent.
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  • 19
    RetroBerner I'm no lawyer, but I don't see how a child is liable for the cost to raise them. We're not talking about a loan you took on as an adult here. NTA
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  • 20
    Rare Sugar_7927 Absolutely do not pay them. As a child (under 18) they are legally obligated to provide housing, food and clothing for you. If they are saying you owe them for anything else, ask for an itemized invoice with receipts of expenses. Unless you asked them to buy you something you promised to pay them back for I doubt you have any sort of obligation to pay them back - and as someone under age, I dont know how that would go trying to collect it. NTA cut your loses there and block them.
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  • 21
    Spinnerofyarn NTA. You owe her and your grandmother nothing. I wouldn't speak with either of them ever again. As another person commented, if you're too impaired to manage your money, you're too impaired to sign anything anyway. I'm so sorry your family is so vile.
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  • 22
    dexterdarko2009 Sounds like she tried to get ypu to sign a trustee form. Im going to take a wild guess here and assume the 11k is from the move with the flights and such and if that's the case you where a minor and she paid for you to move as a minor child of the household. So I dont see how you owe her 11k. Centrelink or the New Zealand version isnt much really. Sound like your on youth allowance. Definitely NTA. Just cut your mum off and move on with your life.
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family drama aita move kicked out grandma parenting rent family reddit thread daughter Reddit money entitled people
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