Mom reaches considers kicking out 15-year-old stepdaughter, gives partner ultimatum: 'He doesn't respect me or the kids'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 14, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

The thing about parenting that a not insignificant proportion of parents would rather ignore is that it isn't just a job you do on the good days. In fact, when somebody is a mom or dad it is even more important to ride out the bad times and try to find solutions to them if possible. In most cases, parents are the primary support system for their kids as they grow up, and if they don't step up to that responsibility, the situation can deteriorate rapidly.

Another downside to this negligent parenting style is that it doesn't just fail the child, but often the people around them, too. It isn't pleasant to be a family member to a kid who is acting out. When this starts to put strain on a family, it is more than some childhood rebelliousness that is going to become a problem. Every relationship will suffer.

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my partner I don’t want his daughter living with us anymore?

    My (29f) partner (30m) has a 15 years old daughter, lets call her Lila. She came to live with us about 6 years ago. My partner and I have two kids 7f and 9 male. Ever since Lila moved in with us she has been very disrespectful to my kids and I. She would slam the door in my kids, ignore them when they talked to her, insult them, take their toys and much more things. My partner never did anything about it.
    via Dangerous_Working440
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    Cheezburger Image 10529698304
    via Frankie Cordoba

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is how one mom felt when she reached her breaking point after years of her 15-year-old stepdaughter acting out. She was tired of dealing with her bad behavior, and with her partner not doing anything to try to counter it.

    After an incident involving her stepdaughter inviting a friend round and taking food up to her room when it was forbidden, the mom confronted her partner. This led to an argument where she implied that she wanted both dad and daughter out of the house. She wanted to know if she was in the wrong.

  • 03
    She would steal my money, my cosmetic products, perfumes, make up and any random thing you can think of. Again, my partner never did anything about it. She started to steal things from my partner, again with no consciences. She would constantly break my rules, be disrespectful to us, and lie with no consciences. My partner never did anything about it. When she was about 11 years old, I found an used vape in her drawer. I showed my partner who was in a work trip but he didn't do anything about it
    via Dangerous_Working440
  • 04
    Over the years we have multiple problems with her. She would be physically aggressive towards the kids, disrespectful towards me, slam doors at me, etc but she never had any consequences. She stole my money multiple times, would interfere with my son virtual classes and hit my daughter. Whenever I grounded her my partner would unground her. Fast forward to this year, she was bought w d in class, while the teacher was lecturing and was suspended. We were contacted by multiple teacher regarding he
    via Dangerous_Working440
  • 05
    I've asked him multiple times in the past few mom what were his plans to discipline her but his answers were always "she is not your daughter", "none of your business" and "I'm glad she does that to you because you s k up to her to much". Every time I pointed out what I do for his daughter and how I treat her like she is my daughter and don't deserve to be treated that way he just tells me "well that happens to you because you are a sucker". Well, today I exploded. She had a friend home and brou
    via Dangerous_Working440
  • 06
    That was the last straw. I texted my partner and said I wanted no more of her friends in the house and that if he could make Lila respect us and follow the rule and he needs to get her out of my house. He came to me and asked me to come to our room and we had an argument. He said I was just looking for excuses to kick Lila out of the house and I started to remind him all the things she has done the past 6 years and how he has handle it. He tried to come up with excuses to justify the behavior an
    via Dangerous_Working440
  • 07
    I think Lila heard us and has been giving me the side eye ever since that argument, but at this point I don't think I came anymore. I understand that she is his daughter and I might be asking a lot from him but I have to protect my kids. Also, she is not my daughter and there is no reason for me to put up with that. I treated her like my daughter for years and all she has done is disrespect me, my kids and my house with no consequences. Let me also add that in the past 4-5 months my kids have st
    via Dangerous_Working440
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    Cheezburger Image 10529698560
    via Kellen Riggin
  • 09

    Commenters took issue with dad and daughter.

    Hopeful-Artichoke449 This is a partner problem.
    via Hopeful-Artichoke449
  • 10
    notesfromsofia hard agree. partner problem 100%. she's wildin but he's the reason she feels like she can wild out like that. man's a grown child w no spine.
    via notesfromsofia
  • 11
    rumi_oliver Plus... Dad is Lila's primary source for learning how to insult OP, using words that inflict maximum emotional damage, while being disrespectful too. They both need to leave - just as OP wrote in her post. Children react to their environment, and unfortunately, Lila's dad is not providing her, his other two children, or his partner with one that has healthy family dynamics. OP is NTA for finally taking a stand. She's tried for years with Lila and with her partner, but has reached the
    via rumi_oliver
  • 12
    kampi 1989 This here. Parenting is teamwork and children need to experience consequences. And at the latest after his sentence "It's not anyone's business" you know what's going on, and a sentence like that would be a red line for me. Throw the guy and his daughter out and let him see for himself what she's like. Either he notices after a week that something has to change and he needs help, or he doesn't notice. With the former there is a chance of spending time together, with the latter there i
    via kampi1989
  • 13
    Heavenchicka You need to leave him. She does it coz she knows she can get away with it
    via Heavenchicka
  • 14
    ckeenan9192 If it is your house kick them out, if not, leave, this will never get better.
    via ckeenan9192
  • 15
    Boggers111 Your step daughter is the least of your problems. Your husband sounds utterly useless. As for his BS it's not your business. His daughter literally lives with you and your kids. Her behaviour already sounds like it's having an impact with them. I wouldn't be just asking your step daughter to leave.
    via Boggers111
  • 16
    CeramicSavage The only way to get her out is to kick your husband out.
    via CeramicSavage
  • 17
    Theunpolitical It sounds like you've been hoping for respect and support from your husband, but he continues to let you down. I'm not saying you have to get a divorce, but I am saying this situation isn't likely to change. You're stuck in a cycle, like a hamster wheel, where you keep hoping things will improve, but nothing ever really moves forward. Your stepdaughter is clearly acting out in an effort to get her father's attention. The problem is, he doesn't respond so she escalates, trying new
    via Theunpolitical
  • 18
    Mobile-Employ3940 Sounds like he never wanted to parent her. And if it's your shared home then why aren't the rules the same for everybody.
    via Mobile-Employ3940
  • 19
    nonlinear_nyc Another day another case of women fighting in the family to cover for men.
    via nonlinear_nyc
  • 20
    galaxy1985 NTA she needs to go. Then you need to leave dad too.
    via galaxy1985
  • 21
    Crazy_Banshee_333 NTA. This is not just about his daughter. It's about his lack of respect for you. His daughter treats you like trash and he allows her to get away with it. That means he is not offended by her behavior. If he really loved you, he would be concerned and would not allow his daughter to continually demean you and hurt your feelings. There's no point in waiting around for him and/or Lila to change. They haven't made an effort and aren't going to alter their behavior for your sake.
    via Crazy_Banshee_333
  • 22
    OriginalAgitated7727 partner problem. I am sorry. Either he agrees to go to couples counseling to get to the bottom of the behavior, or you should consider leaving him. You need to be a united front, a team.
    via OriginalAgitated7727
  • 23
    YTA Fortune Where ThoutBe To your kids and to yourself for staying with a partner who refuses to discipline his child. Who tells you that you deserve what's happening to you and that your children deserve what's happening to them. You have a partner problem you need to leave. He and his daughter deserve each other. Your children do not deserve the ab e that you have forced them to continue to receive. Get out of the marriage and actually let your children have a good childhood without a toxic st
    via FortuneWhereThoutBe
  • 24
    Beneficial-Sort4795 NTA but the root of the problem is your supposed partner, not the girl. She does it because she knows he's spineless and won't enforce any rules she breaks. No consequences equals disrespectful teenager. And your kids are watching and will pull similar sh when they hit that age because why wouldn't they? You don't have a real partner. You have a dude who lets his kid walk all over you and your kids because then she won't turn her anger on him. You have a gutless who knows exa
    via Beneficial-Sort4795

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