18-year-old living with 3 families puts lock on his food after seeing people stealing it, his aunt gets upset: “It feels like she’s punishing me for setting boundaries”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 20, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Living with a big family can be both a blessing and a curse. The grass is always greener, so if someone has only one sibling, they may fantasize about having many siblings and a big family. I have a friend who's an only child, and what she wants more than anything is to have a sibling. She feels alone, as if it's just her and her parents in the world. As her parents age, she feels more and more pressure to take care of them, and she feels the burden of responsibility for them. 

I have one sister, and some distant relatives, but no one I'm really close to. I won't deny that I sometimes feel a twinge of envy for people who are surrounded by family. People who take big family vacations together, who have siblings they can rely on, or cousins that they are close to. In the story below, the protagonist is overwhelmed by family members. 

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  • 01

    AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door and stocking up on food, even though it made my aunt upset?

    Cheezburger Image 10531316224
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (18M) live in a house shared by three families, including my aunt's. For most of my life, I've always been the "too nice" one. I rarely said no, I let people borrow
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  • 03
    my things without question, and I tried to avoid conflict even when I felt uncomfortable. But recently I've been trying to set some basic boundaries for my peace of mind.
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    There have been many small things over the years that built up. For example, my aunt's family regularly took my phone charger without asking. It happened so
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    often that once when they temporarily moved to another barangay (village), I had to go all the way there just to get my charger back. They still do this to
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  • 06
    this day. Her kids also frequently enter my room just to charge their phones. It might seem small, but it feels like my space is never really mine.
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    The worst situation involves one of her sons. He has, on multiple occasions, come into my room while I'm asleep and used or taken my phone without
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    Master
    via 12019 from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    permission. Once I finally added a password, he woke me up just to ask me for it. Then he claimed, "I always ask you when I borrow it,"
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  • 10
    which is just not true. It made me really uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to say no at the time.
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    There's also the issue of my bike. People from the household used to take it without asking and break parts of it without repairing anything. I wouldn't have minded
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    if they asked or fixed what they broke, but they didn't. So eventually, I bought a padlock and started locking the bike. As soon as I did that, people started
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  • 13
    asking to borrow it more often almost like they were offended that they had to ask now.
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  • 14
    Recently, my mom, who works abroad, sent me money and told me to use it to stock up on food specifically non-perishable, cheap food like canned goods and instant noodles. I did exactly
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    that, buying several boxes to make sure I'd have something to eat during hard times. Ever since, my aunt has started making sarcastic or passive-aggressive
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    remarks like, "You have food now," especially when I go out or buy anything else. It's like she's implying I don't deserve anything
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    more because I already have food, even though I used my mom's money for something she asked me to do.
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    Cheezburger Image 10531317248
    via MivPiv from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    All of this has made me feel more and more uncomfortable in my own space. So, a few days ago, I decided to finally install a simple doorknob with a lock on my
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  • 20
    bedroom door. I didn't make a big deal out of it. I just wanted some privacy, especially since people come into my room uninvited, even when I'm asleep. I
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    didn't yell or accuse anyone of anything. I just quietly made a small change to feel more secure in my own space.
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    When my aunt found out, she got visibly mad. She told me I was "destroying the wall," said no one goes into my room except family, and told me I had wasted my mother's hard-earned money on
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  • 23
    something unnecessary. To add to it, I overheard her gossiping about me to neighbors, clearly talking behind my back about the lock and the food I bought. It feels like she's punishing me for setting boundaries.
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  • 24
    For the record, I still try to be respectful. She's older, and I understand that her family might not have as much as mine. We're not rich, but I know I'm more blessed in some ways. That's
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  • 25
    partly why I've let a lot of things slide for so long. I don't want to be selfish. I just want a little bit of privacy and for people to respect my space and things.
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  • 26
    So, Guys, am I the a hole for finally putting a lock on my door, saying no more often, and trying to protect what little peace I have?
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