Mom tells teenage step-daughter not to marry a loser, despite the fact that she is a high school dropout without a job: 'When I married her, she had no car and no job'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 19, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Nobody wants their kid to marry a loser. In theory, nobody wants to marry a loser themselves, but they often forget about that priority before officially tying the knot. We're so willing to overlook someone's incredibly apparent flaws because we're "in love" and "would rather be miserable than sleep alone at night." Once you're in too deep with a loser, it's difficult to see the forest from the trees, and no amount of your mom telling you, "Don't marry this guy," is going to change your mind. That's why a lot of parents tell their daughters and sons, "Don't date a loser" when they're teenagers. Once your kids are adults, there's nothing you can really do to stop them from making terrible decisions. You can say anything you please, but that's probably not going to change their mind about the person they think is "the love of their life."

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  • 01

    AITA for Yelling at my Wife for Telling My Daughter Not to Marry a Loser?

    I got into an argument with my wife because I overheard her telling teenage step daughter not to marry a "loser" or "brokie".
    via u/Prestigious-Can5880

  • The dad in this story hated that his wife told her stepdaughter not to marry a loser. That is probably because he views his wife as someone who was a loser when he married her, and who continues to be a loser to this day. You don't believe me? Listen to his words!

  • 02
    I reminded her that when I married her she had a child from another man, was a highschool dropout, had no car and no job. And that she has NEVER had a job to this day.
    via u/Prestigious-Can5880
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10531703808
    via Daiga Ellaby (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    I'm not saying I was a huge success at the time, because I wasn't, but i at least was in the military(joined at 17yo) and had a car and a salary where I could send her money to support her child.
    via u/Prestigious-Can5880
  • 05
    U.S. ARMY
    via Lance Reis

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    She's now mad at me because I "threw that in her face" and "embarrassed her" but I was just trying to prove a point and didn't agree with the advice she was giving our daughter. AITA?
    via u/Prestigious-Can5880
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10531696640
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    Only Trust3585 I've just read your previous posts and im wondering why you haven't divorced your wife. You mentioned at every opportunity that your wife had a child to someone else before you married, and also mentioned the children are older now so it's a long time to harbour resentment. You actually sound like you detest her. Maybe you have cause but for heavens sake you married her. (I know she asked you, you also mentioned that more than once)
    via u/OnlyTrust3585
  • 09
    Prestigious-Can5880 OP If you looked back you must have seen i left her for over a month and she begged for me to come back.
    via u/Prestigious-Can5880
  • 10
    OnlyTrust3585 You didn't have to go back. I'm just saying you write with absolutely no respect for her. What sort of message are you sending your child. It's not worth it just leave. She will be better off too.
    via u/OnlyTrust3585
  • 11
    Prestigious-Can5880 OP I'm sending the message that people deserve second chances. Now if she doesn't get her act together, ill leave again, this time for good even with begging.
    via u/Prestigious-Can5880
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    MultiColored Mullet I mean you already don't like her and are going to resent her for the rest of both of your lives for past actions. Its been YEARS and you threw being a single broke mother in her face. You write like you | you do too. abhor the woman and talk to her like
    via u/MultiColoredMullet
  • 13
    Just leave and save both of you the trouble. You the constant discomfort of living with someone you can't stand and her the abe of living with someone like that. Your kids are learning that this is an ok relationship dynamic and are going to spiteful husbands or abused end up mean wives.
    via u/MultiColoredMullet
  • 14
    It_girth NTA. What she was really doing is projecting her own unhappiness at how her life turned out. She's telling her daughter not to marry a loser or a brokie because that's how she feels her life turned out and doesn't want that for the kid. Her "advice" to your daughter was in reality a thinly veiled insult towards you and your marriage. Honestly, good on you for humbling her a bit there.
    via u/It_girth
  • 15
    Bosmer-1209 Or she was alluding to the relationship that made her a single mother and not her current one.
    via u/Bosmer-1209
  • 16
    daniboyi the problem is by her own logic, OP shouldn't have married her. She was the broke, unemployed, uneducated loser. If she can be the broke loser getting married to, she can accept her daughter marrying a 'broke loser'. Rules for thee, but not for me is a very unappealing quality to have.
    via u/daniboyi
  • 17
    plants321 Huh? But was she comparing her life to hers or just in general telling her to not marry someone who is a loser or who has no money. How do you know it was directed at you? Sounds like you've got some self esteem issues if you assume it was directed at you.
    via u/plants321
  • 18
    grouchykitten1517 Yea my dad is really really successful, my mom is a stay at home mom (and my dad has said many times he could never have been as successful without her support, she is no loser), both my mom and dad have said things along the lines of "don't marry a loser". This is standard parenting advice 101. I've never met a parent that was like" WOOOOO my daughter found a head with no job who lives in his car! BEST DAY EVER!!!!!"
    via u/grouchykitten1517
  • 19
    PostCivil7869 Isn't the whole point of parenting to pass on wisdom? Wisdom only comes through life experience. She's just educating your daughter to make smart choices. It has nothing to do with her choice or if she feels she made the wrong ones. She's not saying she made wrong ones. She's just explaining what is statistically correct.
    via u/PostCivil7869
  • 20
    Ennuidownloaddone Have you ever suffered hardship because your wife was a high school drop out single mom with no car or job? Probably yes. So why would you want your daughter to go through that same hardship when you can advise her to not make your mistakes?
    via u/Ennuidownloaddone
  • 21
    Reclaiming Mine And to fix that the advice is "don't marry a loser", how about "study and get a good job". The mother is literally telling her daughter to be a gold digger.
    via u/ReclaimingMine
  • 22
    ApprehensiveArmy7755 There are a lot of losers out there. By that I mean guys who have no ambition and are buried in video games and worse. So-yes- even a high school drop out who has made her own share of mistakes can dispense good advice.
    via u/ApprehensiveArmy7755
  • 23
    REuphrates Ummm... I'm definitely gonna tell my daughter not to marry down. That's stupid and irresponsible. 8 billion other people on the planet, guaranteed you can find a partner who is your type and also not going to make your life more difficult because of their poor financial decisions.
    via u/REuphrates
  • 24
    Bird Brain4101112 She can argue that you proved her point.
    via u/Bird_Brain4101112
  • 25
    DeciduousEmu Sad fact. Men can marry a woman who's a loser (but a good person) and have a good life. It rarely works the other way around.
    via u/DeciduousEmu

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parents of teens teens family drama marriage teenager teenagers losers wife married life stepdaughter husband raising teens loser family daughter married
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