34-year-old recently-pregnant sister and her boyfriend, who works part-time and is "very involved", suddenly begin expecting for her older sister to scoop their cat's litter: 'It's your responsibility to clean the kitty litter now'

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jul 24, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

When you get pregnant as a cat owner, so many thoughts cross your mind at once. So much excitement. You get to see your cat react to you being pregnant, cuddle and bond with the baby before it's even born. You think about the future friendship between the kitty and the baby, the shenanigans that they will get up to. So many good things, and yet… it takes a while to get there.

As a lot of us already know, pregnant women should limit their interactions with cat litter. There could be all kinds of things in there that we don't want the baby interacting with, and so that means that the responsibility of cleaning the litter has to fall on someone else for a while. Now, usually, that is our partner, but it looks like that was not the option here. Here, for some reason, this pregnant woman and her boyfriend - who works part-time, lives 40 minutes away, and plans to be very involved with the baby - thought that the right person to expect to clean the litter is… her sister. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for not helping my pregnant sister clean up kitty litter?"

    "I am looking forward to helping with the baby. I just really don't want to do the litter."
    via Canva / Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    For added context, I (36F) don't have any pets because I don't want them and the added responsibility of having them going for walks, medical needs or general trips to vet, grooming them, and cleaning up after their business, plus I am also away for work often.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 03
    She (34F) knows this. She recently got pregnant, and as you know pregnant women should limit their intereaction with litter. We get along fairly well I would say. She and her bf (lives 40mins away) lightheartedly said that "It's your (my) responsibility to clean the kitty litter now".
    via ginamarie1986
  • 04
    We live a block away from each other and I am excited about the baby and want to help and provide support as best as I can, just not with that. I feel like a sister, but I also don't want to do it. AITA?
    via ginamarie1986
  • 05
    Update - Wow! I did not expect this many responses. Thank you everyone. To answer similar questions in the thread: 1. This is a fairly new relationship (between sis and her bf). Despite that they did plan to get pregnant. I don't ask many questions regarding that - to each their own.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 06
    2. I do not know their plans to cohabitate, for now, as far as I know, they will continue to live 40 mins apart. Though this question isn't about them. 3. My sister moved a block away from me a year ago to be closer to me, and likes the area, which I've lived in for 5 years.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 07
    4. The BF is not a terrible guy, he is very much involved and an intentional participant in this whole process, which makes their comment of me taking care of the kitty litter even more confusing. With his work schedule, he visits/stays over 1-3 per week, that I know of.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 08
    5. Yes, their comment was light- hearted, in the way that you add an "lol" to a rather risky thing to say. 6. The cat has been hers for 2 years, and is an indoor cat.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 09
    klaw14 NTA. I just hate the way that they TOLD you to do it, like it was an expectation. They could've gone about it so much more respectfully. Like, 'hey sis, I was wondering if you could please do me a massive favour, and it would only be until baby is born - but would you mind taking over Squishy's kitty litter duties? You'd be a lifesaver!' Instead, they were all entitlement, zero gratitude.
    via klaw14
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10532329984
    via Canva / Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It's the fact that they expected you to just- do it. Take the time out of your day, take care of a pet that you don't care for, do it on a repeated basis… No. Maybe, if they had asked nicely, we would have reacted differently. But you don't owe them anything just because they decided to get pregnant, and they need to know that.

  • 11
    ginamarie1986 OP Yes, this would have been a much better way. I think that is my issue, of them just expecting me to do it.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 12
    pinkcow023 She is pregnant with someone she's not even living with??? How is the parenting going to work out? They're dating and expecting but not living together?! That's weird as h_l. Also, she should have talked with her boyfriend about the cat litter BEFORE getting pregnant. He is dating her, he is having a baby with her, the cat is now his responsibility lol. He's the one making a family with her and SHOULD be living with her. That is NOT your responsibility.
    via pinkcow023
  • 13
    ginamarie 1986 OP Listen, I am staying out of their living situation. I don't know how this will work. They are both grown and I'm sure will figure something out.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 14
    National-Plastic8691 you don't have any responsibilities. she is trying to see what she can get you to do. this is ridiculous. please know that she'll try to stick you with babysitting. say no. she and he can take the kid with them or hire babysitters. you are supposed to be focused on hour own life and dreams
    via National-Plastic8691
  • 15
    ginamarie 1986 OP Thank you! I am very excited to be an aunt, and more than happy to babysit because I want, not because I "have" to.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 16
    SaerisFane Lol I mean you're a little bit of the ah. You live right there and cant scoop litter? It literally takes 2 minutes. I assume then that you also won't be willing to help in anyway once the baby is there. Changing their diapers is way worse. Or when she is exhausted actually caring for the newborn and needs help with chores- you wont scoop the litter then? What about doing laundry or dishes or cooking? Obviously the baby daddy needs to be involved and I hope they have a plan, but scoopi
    via SaerisFane
  • 17
    ginamarie 1986 OP On the contrary, I am looking forward to helping with the baby. I just really don't want to do the litter, and now much less since they just expected me to. Chores, cleaning, picking up weird cravings, diapers, all that, sure. I've been looking forward to it, since they shared that they were trying for a baby.
    via ginamarie1986
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10532330496
    via Canva / Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It is one hundred percent understandable to us that someone who's not very into pets would not want to deal with the grossest parts of having one. Stand your ground on this, tell them the truth, but we would say that you should also leave the door open - to help when they genuinely need it (and ask for it nicely).

  • 19
    Possum JenkinsSoles How does the boyfriend intend to help with the actual human child if he apparently lives too far away to scoop litter?
    via PossumJenkinsSoles
  • 20
    Donutsmell NTA. You didn't get her pregnant. This is the responsibility of the person that did, regardless of how far away he lives. Maybe, maybe, had she asked, doing it a time or two would be fine. She didn't ask, though. She just stated the assumption that you should. That kind of entitlement would put me right off from offering to help.
    via Donutsmell
  • 21
    softballpants NTA. The boyfriend should do it, why arent they living together? Alternately, she could get a neighborhood kid to do it for a few bucks.
    via softballpants

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