34-year-old recently-pregnant sister and her boyfriend, who works part-time and is "very involved", suddenly begin expecting for her older sister to scoop their cat's litter: 'It's your responsibility to clean the kitty litter now'

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    "[Am I wrong] for not helping my pregnant sister clean up kitty litter?"

    "I am looking forward to helping with the baby. I just really don't want to do the litter."
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    For added context, I (36F) don't have any pets because I don't want them and the added responsibility of having them going for walks, medical needs or general trips to vet, grooming them, and cleaning up after their business, plus I am also away for work often.
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    She (34F) knows this. She recently got pregnant, and as you know pregnant women should limit their intereaction with litter. We get along fairly well I would say. She and her bf (lives 40mins away) lightheartedly said that "It's your (my) responsibility to clean the kitty litter now".
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    We live a block away from each other and I am excited about the baby and want to help and provide support as best as I can, just not with that. I feel like a sister, but I also don't want to do it. AITA?
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    Update - Wow! I did not expect this many responses. Thank you everyone. To answer similar questions in the thread: 1. This is a fairly new relationship (between sis and her bf). Despite that they did plan to get pregnant. I don't ask many questions regarding that - to each their own.
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    2. I do not know their plans to cohabitate, for now, as far as I know, they will continue to live 40 mins apart. Though this question isn't about them. 3. My sister moved a block away from me a year ago to be closer to me, and likes the area, which I've lived in for 5 years.
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    4. The BF is not a terrible guy, he is very much involved and an intentional participant in this whole process, which makes their comment of me taking care of the kitty litter even more confusing. With his work schedule, he visits/stays over 1-3 per week, that I know of.
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    5. Yes, their comment was light- hearted, in the way that you add an "lol" to a rather risky thing to say. 6. The cat has been hers for 2 years, and is an indoor cat.
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    klaw14 NTA. I just hate the way that they TOLD you to do it, like it was an expectation. They could've gone about it so much more respectfully. Like, 'hey sis, I was wondering if you could please do me a massive favour, and it would only be until baby is born - but would you mind taking over Squishy's kitty litter duties? You'd be a lifesaver!' Instead, they were all entitlement, zero gratitude.
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    ginamarie1986 OP Yes, this would have been a much better way. I think that is my issue, of them just expecting me to do it.
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    pinkcow023 She is pregnant with someone she's not even living with??? How is the parenting going to work out? They're dating and expecting but not living together?! That's weird as h_l. Also, she should have talked with her boyfriend about the cat litter BEFORE getting pregnant. He is dating her, he is having a baby with her, the cat is now his responsibility lol. He's the one making a family with her and SHOULD be living with her. That is NOT your responsibility.
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    ginamarie 1986 OP Listen, I am staying out of their living situation. I don't know how this will work. They are both grown and I'm sure will figure something out.
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    National-Plastic8691 you don't have any responsibilities. she is trying to see what she can get you to do. this is ridiculous. please know that she'll try to stick you with babysitting. say no. she and he can take the kid with them or hire babysitters. you are supposed to be focused on hour own life and dreams
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    ginamarie 1986 OP Thank you! I am very excited to be an aunt, and more than happy to babysit because I want, not because I "have" to.
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    SaerisFane Lol I mean you're a little bit of the ah. You live right there and cant scoop litter? It literally takes 2 minutes. I assume then that you also won't be willing to help in anyway once the baby is there. Changing their diapers is way worse. Or when she is exhausted actually caring for the newborn and needs help with chores- you wont scoop the litter then? What about doing laundry or dishes or cooking? Obviously the baby daddy needs to be involved and I hope they have a plan, but scoopi
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    ginamarie 1986 OP On the contrary, I am looking forward to helping with the baby. I just really don't want to do the litter, and now much less since they just expected me to. Chores, cleaning, picking up weird cravings, diapers, all that, sure. I've been looking forward to it, since they shared that they were trying for a baby.
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    Possum JenkinsSoles How does the boyfriend intend to help with the actual human child if he apparently lives too far away to scoop litter?
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    Donutsmell NTA. You didn't get her pregnant. This is the responsibility of the person that did, regardless of how far away he lives. Maybe, maybe, had she asked, doing it a time or two would be fine. She didn't ask, though. She just stated the assumption that you should. That kind of entitlement would put me right off from offering to help.
  • 21
    softballpants NTA. The boyfriend should do it, why arent they living together? Alternately, she could get a neighborhood kid to do it for a few bucks.

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