‘All I see is blatant irresponsibility’: Parents of 4 refuse to provide financial assistance to their financially inept son, who deprioritizes household necessities and, instead, unwisely spends his money on things like $600/mo DoorDash orders

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  • "AITA for refusing to provide financial assistance to my adult son"

    Sorry for the long post. Background: My wife and I have been married for 31 years- we have 4 adult children and are all too familiar the struggle of trying
  • to make ends meet from our early years. I've been a fixture at my job for 27 years while my wife has always baked cakes, baby-sat for family friends, did hair, to help
  • make ends meet. My insurance rates sky-rocketed about 7 years ago to $737/mo so my wife decided to work full time to carry our insurance. We make 6 figures
  • now, have a moderate home that's paid for in the next 10 years, have one car payment, own another 10-year-old vehicle and have no other debt.
  • My son and his wife have been married 8 years and have 2 kids- 9 and 4. They both have barber/ cosmetology licenses. He works
  • for a local barber making $1440 a week with booth rental set at $924 a month. Take-home pay is about $4800 a month. She works
  • part-time retail and makes about $70 a day or $1100 a month. Their rent is $1400, their car- payments are combined $800 a
  • month. They have Medicaid and get about $500/month in SNAP benefits. My son eats out every day for $11 and smokes w d
  • regularly- about $6 a day. We got a text from my son saying they were behind on rent for 2 months- the amount goes up $20
  • a day every day they're late and not to be surprised if they showed up on our doorstep. He also said they were about to lose
  • their cars because of non- payment. Mind you- the car he had 6 months ago was paid for but underwent hail damage (right
  • after we paid $500 for new tires) so he sold it for $2000. They both have iPhone 16s (meanwhile I have an 11, wife has the 13) and spend $600 a month on eating ~ out and DoorDash.
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  • I understand the financial pressure young people are under these days- but all I see is blatant irresponsibility with money. Why
  • should I help support his habits when he doesn't pay his bills? We've talked about this at length for the entirety of their marriage.
  • I'm at a loss as to what to do- | just hate to see my grandkids trapped in the middle and to have to go without.
  • JazPrncess1 NTA. Tough love is tough
  • Alternative-Number34 NTA. They won't get better if you enable their bad decisions. Their life isn't hard due to factors outside of their control. It's hard because they are making it hard.
  • Traditional-Tooth-81 ~ Additionally- they get $10k back every year in income taxes and blow it on extravagant purchases instead of forward paying rent or car payments because they consider it dispensable income. MADDENING
  • PolesRunningCoach NTA. - This falls into the one thing I heard Dr. Phil say that I agree with ― you don't solve money problems with money. They need a behavior change, not a slush fund. Until they accept that fact, they'll remain a black hole of any cash tossed their way.

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